Documents and Discipline

First a tidbit from yesterday:
Nick seems to be developing a bit of a cold or allergies – he gets a runny nose from time to time (today also a cough, so probably a cold). Anyway, it gave John sweet, fatherly pleasure to help him blow it.  He was really touched and enjoyed the moment. Nick likes pulling the tissues out of the pocket pack, as well as the wipes out of their package and wiping up himself, the toys, the bench, etc.

Today I got up at 8:00 AM, showered, settled in with coffee and devotions and then the guys were up – politely inviting each other to shower first. John won: he joined me for coffee while Sasha showered first. We boiled up some more eggs. We each had one and some multivitamin juice for breakfast. Coffee too, of course.

Andre’ picked us up before 10:00, and off we went to the orphanage. Sasha and Andre’ went to the police inspector with a representative from the orphanage. This inspector is only available Tuesday through Friday and Saturday morning, Sasha discovered when he first tried to go on Monday. The inspector, therefore, was very busy this morning, and told Sasha to come back tonight or tomorrow. He also tried to reach the other inspector, but she was still in court.

We picked up Dennis first – hair was still wet! Then we went to Nick’s room. We were told he was upstairs, having a music class. The caretaker indicated we should stay put and she would bring him, but returned and told us “patuum”, which Sasha had fortunately taught us means “later”. I had her show me on my watch how much later (half-hour). We told her it was okay. We agree that he shouldn’t miss his classes. Part of these may be rehearsals for the program on June 1st that the director told us about at our first orphanage visit. Nick is to play a prince. We can’t wait, hoping to videotape it for him! That gave us alone time with Dennis again, which is not bad, since he finds Nick so entertaining (and therefore distracting), and Nick demands much of John’s attention. He clearly indicated by adamantly handing the items, that John was to hold the books (pad of paper, coloring book, touch and feel dog book). Mama was to hold the beanies and bubbles. In fact throughout the morning, every time I set the bubbles down, he handed them back to me. He wasn’t actually interested in having me blow them; I just need to hold them. (“Gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to blow ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run . . .”)

John went for Nick after the half hour was up. His entire group was coming outside, each with a slice of an apple for a snack. We had pretty much the usual activities with the ball, the coloring, the bubbles (although they are losing popularity), the rings and cups. Today, however, Dennis was determined to color on the same page as Nick (Nick acquiesced) and later followed behind Nick, copying his activities of swatting at the same grass and weeds with a stick. As noon approached Nick’s group was still outside playing in an area with more playground equipment, so although he watched us as we walked away (and later spotted us driving away in the van), he didn’t seem upset.
We had also assured him we would be back later (part Russian, mostly English).


We ate lunch at the same cafeteria below the department store as Sunday night. We all had the cold cucumber soup (kroshki) and other things (enough of the menu details . . .). John and I decided to check upstairs in the children’s clothes shop for hats, but nothing was suitable. Sasha headed back to the apartment on foot, sending Andre’ off until later. When we reached the apartment (it is a short walk), no one was home, and Sasha had the only key. We waited a while (I had my knitting on hand, of course) then gave him a call. Thanks, Lord, for cell phones! He said while walking home he had received a call to go to the inspector immediately, so he had called Andre’ back and was currently in the inspector’s office and he would call when he was done. We told him not to worry, and take his time. We were deliberately not being anxious about the reason for the urgency of the meeting, although the temptation existed.

We lounged outside on the short walls leading into the apartment building. I worked out the placement for the airplane on Nick’s sweater; John took some photos of the building. When Sasha returned an hour or so later, he explained that the inspector called and said she was done in court and wanted a ride back to her office. He had to wait for Andre’, pick up the representative from the orphanage and the inspector, and after the documents were made go to an outside place and get five copies of everything made and take them back to the inspector. Some of those copies went out on the 16:00 train to Kyiv. It is an informal, but common and reliable way to have packages delivered quickly. Sasha carries with him plastic report covers, large envelops and glue. The package is given to the train conductor with some money ($2). Sasha in Kyiv will meet the train and be given the package after proving his identity. This paper work starts a process in Kyiv that takes about five business days. After that we can have a court appointment here in Kharkov (the one where we both have to wear suits). Then we must wait (at least) ten days during which time an appeal could be filed to delay or prevent the adoption. (In the past the waiting period was thirty days, but could be waived in special circumstances, the current ten days is mandatory). Hopefully on the eleventh day the court decree goes into effect and we receive an official copy. Then, with the boys in our custody, we have to go to their hometown to have the local legal authorities change their birth certificates to reflect their new names and parentage. That takes a couple of days. Once we get back to Kyiv it will be roughly five days to get passports, visas, and other documentation (i.e. June 16th is pretty much the earliest we would leave Ukraine and even that, perhaps, is optimistic). That’s how we understand it at this very moment, anyway. 

While we went back to the orphanage Sasha settled in at an Internet café on Lenin Prospect to prepare paperwork in Ukrainian. It was the petition for court asking for permission to adopt, rename the children, etc. He hopes to submit it tomorrow. When Andre’ dropped us off at the orphanage we paid him and said good-bye until tomorrow since we would be taking the Metro back.

John went off to find Nick. His group was getting ready to go outside. His caretaker told him to switch shoes. Then he told John he needed to go to the bathroom. The caretaker sent him back briefly and then they were off. I went up to Dennis’ room, but received no response to the buzzer and heard no noises from inside. I thought perhaps his group had already gone outside (it was after 4:30), but though I met John and Nick (and enjoyed his hearty hug) we found no Dennis. We all went back up to his room, and this time they quickly came, Dennis dressed with hat and all. I offered him only the purple stacking ring and we were off. Sue and Bill were also outside with their little guy.

Today was an important day, marking the first serious confrontation between Nick and “Papa”. He went beyond the playful naughtiness of past visits and was refusing, resisting and struggling, even though we were very clear (and it was understood) what specific behavior was unacceptable. It took a long time and many pleas of “Papa . . .(something)” while he pulled and squirmed and tried to escape. He obviously tried to appeal to me, too, but I set him back down next to John. At last he was still for all of five seconds and John was able to tell him “kha-ra-SHO” (good, or okay) and release him. Whew! Papa felt bad, but the rest of the visit was good, and he got a big, voluntary hug when we had to leave. Once again it proved helpful to be able to tell him, in Russian, that we would have to return to his group soon, and then ‘now’. No one was in his room, and when we went back outside, he did try to direct us away from his group, but the caretaker called out his name. Busted! Dennis actually was reluctant when we put away the toys outside, and when we left him in his room, first time for this.

We took the Metro back and called Sasha from the station. After three hours he was still working on the official petition, so we stopped at the McDonald’s next door for the use of the restrooms, a latte, French fries and ice cream (two cones for 60 cents). We found Sasha in the Internet café (not the one in our building) and retrieved the key for the apartment. Now, technically, our first five days have elapsed and we should be paying ahead for the next five. Well, perhaps. Perhaps if the second key should arrive tonight, the payment will be tomorrow. Perhaps . . .

We had spaghetti leftovers for supper. Then Sasha translated the official documents out loud to us (sounding official enough to give me goosebumps) and we each signed three copies. John even took pictures.

The toys have gotten quite dirty between Dennis throwing the rings on the ground and Nick moving dirt with the stacking blocks, so John washed them up. I had done the same on Sunday.

Tomorrow morning Sasha hopes to go both to court and to the police inspector, so we will take ourselves to the orphanage. It actually wouldn’t be a bad walk, maybe an hour in length, but the Metro is too inexpensive and convenient to resist.