This Certainly was Thurs’ Day!

Not a great night’s sleep. We seemed to alternate in wakefulness, however. Sometime in the dark I turned over and “tunked” my forehead on the table between the beds (I slept with my feet at the compartment door end). It hit pretty hard. When I reached up to see if I might be bleeding I felt a pretty good goose egg, but no broken skin. I sure was hoping I wouldn’t have a huge bruise going into our interview with the orphanage director!

Our train was due into Kharkov at 6:20. Shortly after 5:00 I got up so I would be able to use the toilet before reaching the city (when they lock it) and to avoid a line. It worked well. We were to go directly from the train station to a McDonald’s next door to wait until the driver came at 8:30. The Inspector’s office where we were to begin was not open until 9:00, so no point in having him come earlier. After struggling through the train station with our baggage (the four large plus three small), John asked about storage for the luggage, and Sasha found the place where we could store it for the day. No arrangements would be made for our housing until we decided (after meeting the children) if we wished “to continue”.

Breakfast at McDonalds: coffee and muffins for us, coffee and a burger for Sasha. The driver, at the end of the day we learned his name was Andre’, picked us up in a taxi van and off we went. At the inspector’s office Sasha went inside with our dossier for quite a while as we waited in seats in the hallway. Eventually we were invited in. A very pleasant woman welcomed us. She asked a few basic questions, like “What is your philosophy on parenting?”  and “If you have other children will you want to return the adopted ones?” Conyeshnya nyet! Certainly not! We showed her the official photo album we had been instructed to assemble. She seemed satisfied and told us she hoped we would “set a good connection (with the children) quickly. She even made the sign of the cross over us for blessing!

Then it was off to the baby house! It took a while to assemble the necessary personnel (even though the inspector had called in advance), and of course it wasn’t a convenient time for the children, but we were able to wait patiently in spite of our eagerness, having had much experience on all of the mission trips! We were rewarded by seeing Denis come up the steps with his caretaker on the way back to his room from his lunch. We heard her say his name, she confirmed he was the one, and gave a “thumb’s up”, telling Sasha he was perfect! We could also see down the hall when Nick was brought in, recognizing him from the photograph in the file in Kyiv.

At last we were invited in. The director, her deputy, the pediatrician medical director were all introduced. The director said she would read the legal papers to us first (which she did in great detail and some length), then the doctor would give us the medical information about their conditions. In summary, the parental rights had been terminated by the courts due to neglect. They also gave many more details, the mother’s name, birth year, medical condition (Tetralogy of Fallot), etc.

The agenda was then changed, so that we could meet the children and “try to make a connection” before Nick went to lunch and Denis went down for his nap. Finally the first true meeting!!! Surprisingly, three-year-old Nick went right to John. They said he was tired of all the women around! He was bright, cheerful and playful, willing to interact right away. Denis was considerably more subdued, but then he had just had lunch, was due for a nap and would understandably be overwhelmed by all of the strangers in the close quarters. It was the response I would expect from a typical toddler. He had been more cheerful and lively coming upstairs with the caretaker earlier. He did sit on my lap and accepted the cookie I offered (Sasha had suggested we bring them along), but was quietly breathing heavily with his head down the entire short visit. Nick was taken to lunch, Denis to his nap.

The pediatrician also shared many details from their medical files, including the various blood and specialist evaluations that had been done. Both have tested negative for HIV and hepatitis (more than once). One is mildly anemic, they both have some protein in their urine, and Nick has an “extra cord” in his heart (couldn’t get the English equivalent diagnosis), but no special treatment is required for any of the above, except that they recommend adoptive parents limit the amount of animal protein they consume.

John and I quietly agreed that we did indeed desire “to continue”, and all seemed pleased when we announced our decision. They also mentioned a third child from this mother, an infant three months old now also with the state, and that perhaps someday we would be back for him.

Off to a notary for some official documents to be made. We had lunch at Bella Pizza while we waited. Individual pizza’s all around: small for John (“Mafia”) and me (“Bomb”), large for Sasha (also “Bomb”) and Andre’ (“Hawaii”). Back at the notary’s office it was a longer wait. After a couple got up from a couch we saw a grey cat had been stretched out behind them. He lazily got into a comfortable curled up position and went back to sleep. Although they had magazines and a television, I got too tired to decode the unfamiliar words quickly. I will keep my knitting with me from now on!

Once the drafts of the documents were completed Sasha proofread them and they had to be made into the official documents. Then we were ushered into a large and well-cooled office of the notary-advocate (a paralegal) where we each (all three) signed the two documents including our printed names, and had to sign in two official registry books, too.

We had to go back to drop the documents off with the inspector. John went up with Sasha, for something to do. I had my knitting in the van, so I did that. They had to wait while the inspector was with a person from the office at the orphanage. Then the inspector was preparing documents to take back to the orphanage and asked John some more questions, since he was there: regarding my future work plans and technical details about the passports.

Sasha had advised us that it would be better to work on the paperwork process and potentially miss an afternoon visit with the boys. We had regretfully agreed, as it was near the end of the week, and each step takes several days as it is. Happily, we did have time to go back, and on time at 4:30! We obtained permission from the medical director to spend time with the children, Sasha had to turn over his passport, and then we were all led to a quiet alcove with a couch, a rug and plants at the top of a stairway where we spent the next two hours. As we left Denis’ group room, he looked alarmed and began to cry, but at Sasha’s quick urgings, we gave him another cookie, and he was quiet. In fact, he was very quiet for most of the visit, slowly dissolving the cookie held tightly to his face. I wiped up his shirt once he finally finished, but I’d better bring bibs for future visits – they won’t have enough clothes for us to keeping coming! He sat still, quietly hyperventilating until the bubbles came out and Nick started laughing. At last a happy, relaxed little boy, at least for short intervals. Nick, on the other had, was having the time of his life! Playing ball – kicking, throwing and catching, taking pictures with the camera, and coloring pictures in the coloring book: the freedom was almost too much. He got a bit wild and defiant, insisting on holding the soap bottle himself, running down the hall, etc. Sasha returned and called him to order, and we began to rein him in more tightly. We’ll learn to set appropriate boundaries quickly, I think. Too soon it was 6:30 and we had to take them back to their rooms.




We were exhausted by then. As Sasha said “It has been a long week today”. And we weren’t finished. Andre’ had been looking into apartments for us all day – one on a sixth floor with an elevator, one on a fifth floor without an elevator and finally one on a first floor that was in the process of being cleaned. We went to the train station to retrieve our luggage. With Andre’ also helping us it was no problem at all. Then he drove us to the first-floor apartment. The cleaning was being completed as we looked at it. It has a large living room with closets that can be closed off, a bedroom with closets and shelves, kitchen which is (somewhat) furnished, bathroom (of course) and even a washing machine – all for $60/night and it will house all three of us. It was nicely clean, had high ceilings and was generally pleasant. We said “yes” and moved in.

Then Andre’ took us to a large supermarket where he has a discount card to pick up staples. He was helpful all around: choosing low fat milk (0.5%), choosing crackers suitable for children, choosing sausage (not sure what his criteria was for that), clean brown eggs versus filthy white ones, etc. Tried to get Sasha’s input, too, since this will also be his food, but the most he did was find a box of Earl Gray tea. He is very agreeable. John and I pretty much crashed right away – forget supper! Sasha was up a bit later – ate, read, whatever. The living room was supposed to have an “extension couch”. That isn’t the case, so he pushed the couch, loveseat and chair together for a makeshift bed for tonight, the other is to be delivered tomorrow, along with a second key to the apartment.

Oh, no wireless Internet in this neighborhood