Sunday June 17, 2007 First Father’s Day

Dennis slid off the portable bed twice – once to pillows, once onto me, and third time I caught him. Never did he completely wake up and wail, so it didn’t take long to get him back down, and John and Nick never stirred in the king-sized bed they were sharing. I crawled in once, too, freezing on the floor next to Dennis’ bed and unable to move blankets without disturbing him. I woke up before the 7 AM alarm, but no one else did, and John agreed we would wait until 7:30 to shower and get ready as quickly as possible. The plan was to be ready to leave the hotel around 8 AM, not certain how frequently the shuttle came, and hoping to check in early for better seats. Both boys woke up without assistance, but like all new parents, and me especially, everything takes longer than expected. By the time we dressed them, fed them oatmeal, packed up and tried to share a cup of coffee, it was 8:20. We were still in plenty of time to check in. The shuttle drops off at Terminal 1 and everyone takes the train from there. We were happy to take Nick on a train after all. We thought we had missed out chance when we took the van from Kharkov to Kyiv. He thought it was pretty cool, too. We found a Star Bucks after check-in. They gave us a cup of hot water and we made more instant oatmeal for the boys before sharing two muffins four ways. John and I had mochas, of course.

Nick wasn’t any happier about the seat-belt restraints this day than the previous. He squirmed and said “ne gachoo” (his version of “I don’t want to”) and “ne nada” in response to our “nada” (must) and “skora” (soon) – over and over again. It was quite a relief to finally tell him “see chess” (now) when the seatbelt sign went off. All told, Nick slept about 1 ½ of the 8-hour flight, Dennis 45 minutes. John and I both visited with Bonnie, standing up in back with a book she hadn’t managed to read on a 19-day safari in Zimbabwe and two other countries I can’t remember. I had a great time hearing about her adventures, the protective measures they had to take, the animals they had seen, etc. We also talked about kids, especially since she is a mother, grandmother and former pre-school teacher. Dennis dozed off as we spoke and she rubbed his foot (that hasn’t worked for me since). British Airways has individual television screens for each seat on this overseas flight. We thought we had it “made in the shade” with Nick, since he has been so fascinated by every screen and picture that resembled a television. No. He must be looking for familiar cartoons in Russian he saw at the orphanage. He probably watched all of two minutes of “Finding Nemo” during the whole time it played. The flashing light with variable settings that Grandpa Gogolin had insightfully sent along was a big hit, though.

At last, at last it was nearly over, and I fed them both Gerber “Puffs” on the way down, partly to distract both of them from their restraints and also to keep them swallowing. It seemed to work on both scores. In Chicago we had to go through passport control and collect our luggage. Then it was off to customs, of course, and we had to go to a special area due to the adoption, but when we finished with that official the boys were U.S. citizens. Hurray! Getting the luggage rechecked proved to be a hassle because suddenly both boys decided it was better to run away from Mama and Papa than to be cooperative and stay in line. In the commotion at baggage claim we had forgotten to also pick up the stroller, so we had lost a convenient method of restraining at least one of them. Getting through security proved to be even worse, as we dove under the tapes to retrieve one or the other boys while removing liquids from the backpacks and shoes and belts from ourselves. At last all four of us had walked through the metal detector when a censorious voice asked, “Whose bag is this?” It was my backpack. “Is there a laptop computer in here?” Oh, no!!! I slammed my palms to my forehead and told them yes, and I couldn’t believe I had forgotten it. I was so sorry. The security agent was understanding, told me to take deep breaths, calm down and it was giggles and grins time. He said they just needed to do special tests on the computer, and then they did an individual wand and pat-down exam on me. The boys had temporarily settled down, so it gave us time to reassemble everything and everyone. We went to our gate, John found coffee and bananas and we took turns walking the boys up and down the corridors. Thirty minutes before our flight was scheduled to leave we became concerned because the flight to Green Bay still wasn’t listed at the gate, and we weren’t boarding. A check of the monitors showed that they had changed gates, and we had a good distance to cover. John was handling most of the carry-ons, so Nick needed to walk. Even when he was willing, he only had three-year-old legs to hurry with. We still made it in plenty of time, and even had to distract/entertain them some more at this lower level gate without views of the airplanes.

Once we boarded the boys each snarfed a banana, and Nick tolerated the restraint a little better. However, take-off was worse than ever with Dennis screaming and screaming for half the flight. Good thing it was only about 40 minutes long, but I sure was getting unpleasant looks from passengers ahead of us. They never turned off the seat belt signs, but I finally grabbed my backpack and found the cheese crackers John had picked up somewhere. Worked like a charm. I doled them out to both all the way home and through landing.

We actually arrived ahead of the 5:40 PM schedule, but we had to wait on the jet-way for our larger carry-on bags that had been checked plane-side in Chicago, then it was off to meet Grandpa and Grandma Gogolin, Grandma and Grandpa Thur and John’s sister Lois, who had all come to Green Bay to welcome us home. They were poised and waiting on the other side of the glass doors. John and Nick reached them first. Dennis had had it with being carried, so it took us longer to toddle along. It was so exciting and such a relief to finally introduce them in person (rather than by e-mail or phone). Nick was pretty brave, and readily agreed to take Grandma Thur’s hand. Dennis went into stunned mode, just like the day we met him, and he wasn’t leaving my arms for anyone. As far as concerns about attachment and bonding go, that was actually a very good response. Grandpa Thur brought our van around, we collected the three bags of checked luggage (down from the four on the outbound trip, but up from the two going from Kharkov to Kyiv due to the excessive weight). I had been very apprehensive about the boys’ reaction to the car seats, being even more restrictive than on the plane. John picked up some more bribe/distraction junk food, but it wasn’t needed at all. For whatever reason, they accepted the car seats without protest. In part it may have been because these seats lifted them up where they could see so much more, where in the plane it kept Nick pinned where he couldn’t see anything but the seat in front of him. We sat back with the boys while John’s dad drove. My parents were in their own car. Both boys fell asleep and I had a chance to visit with Lois on the fifty-mile trip home. We had just missed the Thur family reunion, and she was able to fill me in on the details, although I was far more distracted and unfocused than I would have liked.

Home at last! Banners and balloons awaited us and John had the presence of mind to take photographs as we drove up. Thankfully, the boys remained asleep, and we were able to carry them up and lay them down in the beds they had seen in the photographs so many times. John said it was the best possible Father’s Day present!

We opened the cards and gifts from those present, and although grateful for the thoughtfulness and generosity, we were too tired and incoherent to appreciate them then as much as we did the next day. Our families understandingly left in short order and we went up to bed.