June 29, 2007 First Weeks at Home

Another memory from the first plane ride to London: three-year-olds, tomato juice and airplanes do NOT work well together! Nick's backpack bears a permanent reminder of that incident.

John is back to work full-time. Although it is hard for both boys, Nick especially, to accept that Papa can’t play with him all day and on demand, I am very grateful he is nearby when I need his hands or “eyes” in a pinch. I really can’t imagine doing this all alone all day, not yet, anyway.

The boys get up between 6 and 7 AM. If Nick wakes up earlier than 6:00 I put him back to sleep. So far we are sticking to oatmeal and bananas for breakfast. John gets up in time to let me shower before he starts work at 8 AM. The schedule listed earlier works pretty well. Between eating we play in the sandbox, play in the basement (full of marvelous toys from friends at church, cousins and other friends), run errands in “nasha machina” or go for walks: Nick in the stroller and Dennis in a pack on my back. I don’t go to the park alone anymore or let Nick walk on walks because he runs away, and if they go in two different directions I won’t be able to keep them safe. Hopefully Nick will be more trustworthy down the line.

John joins us for lunch, which is still soup daily, and Nick sits in his office while I first put Dennis down for his nap, then “tackle” Nick. They sleep from one to two hours, and I’m prioritizing what will get done each day, uncertain of just how much time I will have. Nothing new to any moms out there, I’m sure. I have a pretty three-piece teacup set we brought back from Ukraine, and I pour myself some roobios (red) herbal tea (technically a tisane). Maybe one of these days I’ll be able to drink it while they nap, too! We have a snack around 3:30 or 4:00, and then it is one of the activities listed above until John gets done at 5:00.

After supper we play outside or go for a walk, then it is bath time and teeth-brushing (new this week) followed by bedtime. We have had to move Dennis’ crib (and the changing table, all the books and every toy) out of what is now Nick’s room because it was just impossible to put them to bed at the same time and the stimulation was too much for Nick. I put Dennis to bed in the guest room across the hall while John reads to Nick and puts him to bed. Putting Dennis to bed takes as little as seven minutes and (rarely) as long as an hour. He likes to hold something in each hand. He rarely fights, but lies relaxed with his head on my shoulder while he fusses for a while. Sometimes he reaches for his crib before he falls asleep, but he still wants me there until he is completely out. Every sleeping time is a battle with Nick and we struggle to find a way to make it more peaceful. One of us stays with him until he falls asleep, we’ve added a night light, and after a discussion between him and our Ukrainian friend Veronika we’ve moved his bed away from the window and keep the door open as long as he is quiet (having explained that it has to be quiet because Dennis needs to sleep, too). She also found out he has been threatened with a particular monster (“bouy-bouy”), that is commonly used to scare children in Ukraine telling them that it will snatch them away. She and we have assured him that there is no “bouy-bouy” here, that Papa would never allow it in this house. Someday when we have more common language we will be able to reassure him more completely with the omnipresence and omnipotence of his loving heavenly Father and Savior.

The boys almost always get up overnight. Saturday night was the exception, when they both were asleep by 9:30 and slept until 7:00. We were so excited! As most parents experience, however, that was just a “tease”, and the very next night I was up with each of the boys twice. I generally am the one to get up, but Tuesday and Wednesday nights they both got up at the same time, so I had to call in John for assistance, and Thursday John fell asleep there and I don’t even know when he came to our room.

“Highlights” since coming home include their first visit to their pediatrician (one of my partners) on the first Friday. Nick willingly practiced saying “Hello, Dr. Zapolsky”, and even said it in the office. We were so proud. He continued to say it for the rest of the morning. Even saying “Dr. Zapolsky malah dyets” (good job). Nick was wonderful – being weighed, measured, and examined. Dennis had a much harder time, we didn’t get the weight until after the exam, but then he did stand on the “big boy” scale in the hallway. Nick’s urine didn’t have abnormal amounts of protein. Dr. Z already had all the paperwork filled out for their lab tests. They each received three shots, and will need more (but will not have to repeat what they received at the orphanage). I felt bad for poor Kaye and Marianne who had to give them.
Nick was a real trooper – crying so silently and not fighting for his “choot-choot owies” (a little owies) as we called them. It was really hard for us knowing we were going down to the lab next to have blood tests. Nick had to be stuck twice, and those quiet tears flowing down his face were heartbreaking. Dennis screamed through his draw, but bled like crazy and was very quickly finished. It was back to the “mahgahZEEN” (store) for more safety items and a search for sandbox toys. Nick continued to tell us “choot-choot owies, Mama” through the rest of the morning and asked to be carried. We complied, of course.

Saturday morning (the 23rd) we went out for breakfast at the Two Brothers Restaurant. I have been preparing “emergency” bags for each of the vehicles (diapers, wipes, cups, bibs, extra sets of clothing) and a take-along bag, but managed to forget a bib and sipper cup for Dennis. We managed. The booth where we were seated was helpful in containing Nick. I picked up the food Dennis spilled around his high chair when we finished. As an added bonus the hostess turned out to be a friend from Redeemer, the church I joined when I moved to Oshkosh eleven years ago. Her grandmother, Marge, was a member at the church, and Courtney played her clarinet in our little band/orchestra. She was thirteen back then. Now she’s entering her senior year of college!

Sunday (the 24th) we decided to take them to church and just see how long we were able to stay. We were very surprised when they lasted through the entire service which was lengthened by a baptism, adult confirmation, communion and a short message from a man safely home along with his family after serving with the military in Iraq. We have been praying for him nightly, and when we briefly met his family downstairs afterwards we learned that they have been praying for us, too. Cool! By the end of the day I remembered to call my sister and wish them a “Happy Anniversary”.

Monday (the 25th) was John’s first full day back at work, and I had my first venture out alone with the boys. We had collected the requisite three stool samples on three successive days from each and so went back to the clinic to take them to the lab. Nick recognized it, and without any hysteria pointed to his arms and said “choot-choot owies, Mama”. I quickly assured him “nee eshow owies, nee see-chess” which translates something like “no more owies, not now”. He was satisfied. We went back up to my office to say hello, collect a toy Kaye had purchased at our request while we were in Ukraine and a boom box, and, I’ll be honest, to show them off some more. People have been so encouraging and excited for us during this whole process I just really wanted to let them meet in person.

Tuesday (the 26th) our neighbors from across the street brought over all sorts of gifts from the Circle (Fireside, that is) for the boys: their own favorite activities including (washable) crayons and markers, Play-dough, paints, bubbles, a full ream of paper, a shovel and rake to use in their new sandbox and more. Just as we finished opening the last gifts, my friend Kathleen, also a pediatrician, arrived with her mother and daughter on their way from Milwaukee to spend some vacation time up North. We had a lovely few hours together assembling the riding toy they gave Nick, eating lunch and having conversations with our children that included Russian, Polish and English. Nick and Helena were adorable when we went outside to say good-bye and they stood holding hands without any coaching!


On Wednesday John had a 7:30 AM dentist appointment and Cassie an 8:00 AM grooming appointment. If it is tricky getting both boys in and out of stores, etc., adding a Cocker Spaniel didn’t help, and for some reason Nick was reluctant to enter the store. It had been hard trying to explain where we were and why Cassie was staying behind. For that matter we didn’t know how to tell him that John had to go to the dentist, either, having no idea what the Russian word for “dentist” is, or if he would know what that meant, anyway. We were able to pick Cassie back up at 11 AM and I don’t know if Nick see any difference in her appearance after her visit to the “kraseewee boutik” (his words prior to the appointment). Mostly her skin-growths seemed more obvious, I suppose.

In the afternoon we had a visit from Veronika, originally from Ukraine and currently doing graduate work in Ohio. She is in Wisconsin on a brief vacation and graciously spent the entire afternoon with us. We had decided Nick could forego his nap in favor of spending time with someone he could understand and be understood by, but as I drove to pick her up after lunch both boys fell sound asleep! We went to South Park, parked in the shade a chatted with the windows rolled down for about 45 minutes, then we drove back home and Nick finally, slowly woke up. It was great to have time to visit, especially some time to really talk to each other as well as time for her to get to know the boys. She was great with Nick, reading to him, building with him, “hiding” with him, pulling him around in the toy wagon Dennis had received from Kathleen the day before. We saw those sad tears again when we left her off and he had to say good-bye to another new, fun (Russian-speaking) friend. Fortunately it was 5 PM by now, so when we got home it would be “Papa see-chess” (now), not “Papa skora” (soon) or “patuum” (later).

Thursday John’s parents came for a visit. I took the boys out for another walk with stroller and backpack first, and then we had a nice time at the park before lunch. I had hoped to take them to South Park to play in the water sprinklers, since I had two extra people, but wouldn’t you know the hot snap would break today! Nick readily sat on their laps to be read too, and persuaded Grandpa to carry him part of the way to the park. Dennis was very shy at first, but he let Grandma Thur catch him at the end of the slide, and let Grandpa Thur feed him at the table. He is definitely warming up to them. The ham and potato soup they made was well-received, especially containing Nick’s beloved “kartoshka” (potatoes). After naps they discovered the plastic house down in the basement that friends from church had given us, their own girls all too tall to stand upright in it now. Nick was really excited to have “nash dom” (our house) for “Nick ee Dennis”. He loaded their two new large toys from Kathleen inside, then filled it with virtually every other toy in the basement while Dennis sat in my lap finishing afternoon snack. By then he must have figured he had squatter’s rights, because it took great emphasis on the “ee Dennis” (and Dennis) for him to share. Then he must have figured that if he just gave the other toys back to Dennis that would be adequate. It wasn’t.


Today (Friday) I toured a childcare center with the boys. Nick got wide-eyed at the humungous sandbox out in the former greenhouse. He wouldn’t respond to the three-year-olds who came over to meet him, but after we walked outside he pointed back to the three-year-old room and wanted to go back. Nap-time was a bit odd: they fell asleep during the before-lunch walk in the stroller and backpack and stayed asleep for 1 ½ (Nick) to 2 ½ (Dennis) hours. Later in the afternoon Bill and Lois came to see the boys and give us a gift from some people at church. They were both initially shy, but Nick quickly warmed up and was sitting in their laps to be read to. Nick went to sleep tonight without yelling – a first when he hasn’t “accidentally” fallen asleep without protest.

Tomorrow we are planning haircuts for all the men. When we take walks and meet new people we have been asked if Dennis is Nick’s sister. I finally understand how some mothers want to put off the first haircut – how much it can change their “baby-ness”, especially for Dennis. Oh well, it has to happen sometime.

Regretfully, most days have no time for jotting down the details of the day. Wish I could write about the neat episodes where Nick acts the kind big brother trying to help Dennis figure out how to get the plastic coins back out of the toy “bank” after each careful insertion, the love Nick has of music evident whenever he hears it or requests it at home or in the van or the goofy faces Dennis is liable to make at the dinner table. I might like to forget the exasperating naughtiness each is so capable of, the struggle to find appropriate discipline and the usual need for interventions for sibling rivalry. John likes the way Nick combines English and Russian telling him “edee come here” (instead of edee syu-dah), and how Dennis comes and grins and waves at him over the baby gate in his office doorway while he is working. John enjoys Nick’s negotiating skills – asking for a number of things he won’t get so when he gets to the thing he really wants he might get it (I find it a bit tiring). It is amusing to both of us to watch Nick correct Dennis’ behavior, and then break the very same rule himself, almost immediately. When we go for walks Nick asks for the identification of each and every vehicle we pass or passes us: cars, minivans, SUVs, trailers, vans, semis and of course the El Camino. His favorite is the pick-up truck, which he will now volunteer. For discipline he always has the option of apologizing and the episode being forgiven and over immediately. If he refuses, he has “time-ins” where we hold him for a specified count in the boring laundry room. The outcome of that is he can count at least to twelve in English (I heard him do it at least twice while he loaded the plastic house in the basement full of toys). Then there’s Dennis, who copies everything his big brother does, even if it gets him into trouble, too.

And then the things I’m learning, too. One night when it took Dennis an hour to get to sleep I had brought him back downstairs to rock (since the other rocking chair is in Nick’s room), and I was bemoaning all the other things I could have been doing during that extra half-hour. I caught myself. Seven years ago when I bought this house I looked long and hard for just the right rocking chair. It needed to be very “cushy”, be tall enough to lean back and rest your head, glide smoothly so as not to disturb a sleeping child and have cushioned arms for an arm holding a baby. Here I was, rocking my very own sleepy son in the peace of the evening. I thought then I might just rock him all night long for the sheer enjoyment of it.

Wednesday June 20, 2007 Sand Box Day, and John begins to work

John was scheduled to be off of work all week, but he thought, and I agreed, it would be good to get started with some half-days and ease into the idea of “Daddy has to work”. I was apprehensive, to say the least. Nick and I have some wonderful moments, but we really haven’t found our way with each other, and I can’t “read” him as well as John does – either in the verbal language or the behaviors.

John generally gets up with Nick when he wakes in the middle of the night – he learned to call for “Papa, Papa!” very quickly back in Kyiv. I thought since John was going back to work, I’d see if I could comfort Nick. When he called just after 4:00 AM (I had been awake about fifteen minutes by then, that darn jet-lag!) I asked if he needed the bathroom (no), and then he let me rock him back to sleep. The next time (about thirty minutes later) he actually stood at his door calling for “Mama, Mama!” We rocked again and this time he lasted nearly an hour. Dennis was up not too long after that and we all had “kasha” (oatmeal) and banana for breakfast. Nick has started to refuse the oatmeal in favor of the banana, but goes along with the “four bites of kasha, then a bite of banana” program pretty easily. Dennis, still our eating machine, eats anything I feed him or put in front of him, whether or not it is intentional.

I cope better with agendas and deadlines, so although we don’t expect the boys to follow a strict schedule, especially three days into a new home and time zone, it was good for me to have a general plan of activities for the morning, at least until John was ready to help again. So the “plan” so far goes something like this:

They get up whenever they get up.
We eat breakfast (together preferably or separately if needed) consisting of kasha and fruit; bananas so far
Get dressed
Play in the basement
Snack around 9:30 or 10 Play in the neighborhood park
Lunch at noon – soup pretty much every day since Nick and Dennis both love it so much
Nap(s)

That actually worked pretty well. We had a nice time at the park, and Nick readily left when I said we could go to “nash dome” (our home) “kusit” (to eat) “skora” (soon) “illi” (or) “see-chess” (now). He chose “see-chess”. He was so excited about having “soup” that the twenty minute wait once we reached the kitchen was very difficult for both of them. I am happy to report no one died of starvation, and they dug right into the chicken and wild rice soup. Nick had some big behavior issues after lunch, though, and John was helping him to calm down upstairs when I realized with horror that we had left his stuffed tiger, Sabaka, at the park! I wrote a quick note to John, whipped a drowsy Dennis into a stroller and hastily returned to the park, sincerely praying that Sabaka would still be waiting on the bench where I had told Nick to put him that morning. A dad was there playing with his little girl, and Sabaka was sitting, a bit lonely, but intact right where we had left him. I was earnestly thankful. By the way, “sabaka” is the Russian word for “dog”. Nick knows now that it is a tiger and tigers are cats, but his name is still “Sabaka”.

John had set up the sandbox on the back patio without their knowledge, and we saved it for a special treat after their nap so John could be present, too. It brought big, big smiles from Nick!

Tuesday June 19, 2007 Let’s Visit Grandmas and Grandpas!

I woke up at 3:00 AM and never really went back to sleep, although I rested. Nick was up at 4 AM, and this time sitting on the couch downstairs with John didn’t do the trick: he was up for the morning. So much for not letting him sleep late yesterday afternoon. Oatmeal and a shared banana comprised breakfast, and then off in “nasha machina” (our car) to the “mahgahZEEN” (store). They were both asleep within five minutes, so we decided it would be a great day to visit the grandparents, all about an hour away and near each other. The money spent on gas for two hours of sleep for Nick: a bargain without a doubt. We stopped at my parents’ home first. They were out painting a porch railing. The boys were asleep, so we let them peek through the windows. They offered us lunch but we didn’t dare wake the boys and didn’t know when they would awaken. Then it was on to Beaver Dam. We went to Shopko first, then to John’s parents’ home. Nick indicated he was hungry. My parents had already eaten by then so we shared a chicken soup lunch before going to Menards for the all-important sandbox. The Beaver Dam Menards has a very large indoor play area with their outdoor play equipment set up for children to use on-site: houses and slides, ships with periscopes, etc. I was leery at first about watching both at once, but they were having such fun (and behaving so well) I asked John to finished checking out and loading the van before we took the boys away.

We stopped back at my parents’ home where they had the old red wooden wagon out and waiting. Both boys enjoyed riding while Grandpa pulled them around the driveway and church parking lot. Then Nick very shyly wanted to pull it. He found it much easier when Dennis wasn’t riding! On the way home Dennis stayed awake – likely had to do with a sopping wet, majorly leaking diaper – but Nick was out, as hoped.

We stopped off at the clinic where I work to schedule their first appointments. Okay, so we really stopped so I could show them off to everyone, especially since they have been following our adventure so closely via e-mails and the Blog. One of the physician assistants who works in the Walk-in Clinic and Occupational Health speaks Russian. I wanted to introduce them to her and thought it would be a treat for Nick to meet someone who understood him, but he was so zoned-out from fatigue he didn’t respond in anyway to her overtures. Maybe another day. After a quick grocery store stop we went home.

Our weekly Bible Study group at church meets on Tuesday nights at 7:00. We know we have had their prayers and support throughout this process, and have missed the fellowship and digging into the Word with them. It is hard to say when we will be able to rejoin the group, especially with bath and bedtime occurring between 7:30 and 8:30 and the difficulty of getting them (Nick) down to bed. But we did want to see them and have them meet the boys so we stopped by for a few minutes at the beginning of class.

Monday June 18, 2007 First Full Day at Home

Dennis woke back up at 8:00 PM, so we all three moved into the guest room with the room-darkening shades and John and I acted as his crib rails when he went back to sleep (it wasn’t long, and gave us a chance to give him a dry diaper). Nick woke up at 3 AM, and cried loud enough for John we could hear him through the closed door (as expected). I laid Dennis in his crib and the three of us went downstairs. I thought he might be hungry because we always are about that time when we first come home from Ukraine. He said “yes”, but was sitting so sleepily on John’s lap on the couch we just let him all back asleep, and they stayed there until 6:30 AM. Eleven hours of sleep is a record for him with us. Dennis woke up a couple more times, but easily went back to sleep. By morning I was on a comforter in their room, and when he finally woke for the day around 6:45 (we removed the electric clock last night), he had happy sleepy smiles.

John discovered he had lost nearly twenty pounds since we left for Ukraine – without trying and without being sick. Must have been all the walking, about four miles daily from apartment to Metro stop and Metro to orphanage and back, and the okroshka! I only lost three pounds - maybe too many "anti-accidents" after all, but I've lost another since then and am nearly at my arbitrary "goal". John and Nick made a run to the grocery store for a couple of essentials, including diapers, since we used the last one last night and the pull-ups just don’t handle those blow-outs.

We did some unpacking, laundry-sorting and kitchen counter-clearing in the midst of boy-watching (we are learning to verbally hand them off as we or they change tasks or locations). At 10:00 we had a fruit break. Nick enjoyed his apple right down to the stem and Dennis couldn’t get his banana down fast enough. Then we went out for a walk in the neighborhood. We gave Nick the option of riding in a stroller like Dennis and I was surprised when he chose to do so. We took pictures out front of the “Congratulations”, “Welcome Home”, “It’s a Boy” and “It’s a Boy” signs – it was so cool!
I also took photographs of the flowerbed a friend (Muriel) had planted for me while we were gone – such cheerful pinkness and thriving tomato plants! When she called earlier I also admired the yellow one near the house. Must be a weed, because she didn’t plant anything yellow!

At the end of the circle our neighbors were eagerly and courteously waiting to see if we were ready to introduce the boys. We most certainly were, although they were both quite shy. Then it was off for the walk. We played on the swings at Crane Park. We aren’t sure either has even been on them before, since we saw none at the orphanage, and we covered those grounds comprehensively. Back home for lunch – soup prepared by John’s mom and waiting in the fridge. It was a big hit. After I got Dennis down for a nap (1:20) Nick asked to come up from the basement for more soup, and ate three more small bowls! Dennis woke up after about an hour, but was still sleepy and not trying to get up, so we rocked for a bit and he went back down.

We found more of the preparations our parents and Lois made for us prior to our return including child-proofing and stocking of the refrigerator, and are so grateful. We had no idea how not ready our home was for young children!

We had a fruit snack around 4:20 and then headed out to shop. Telling Nick we are going to the “mahgahZEEN” (store) is a great motivator; he gets very excited and repeats it again and again. We drove to Target first, but even in the ten minutes there Nick fell asleep. It is so hard to know if it is better to just let him sleep at 5:00 PM simply because he will, or help him to stay up a little later and hope he will sleep past 3 or 4 AM. Dennis was drowsy, but stayed awake. Once we got to Target, we decided to wake up Nick and kept our promise about taking him to the “mahgahZEEN”. He perked right up. We found a couple of trash cans with lids, doorknob handles, a baby monitor (for Dennis’ naps) and a “pahdarek’ (gift) for Nick, since none of his store visits so far have included anything fun for him. John found a small soccer ball and football for $2.50 up front. His behavior by the end of the stop was deteriorating, so between that and the rain that started we decided the sandbox could wait another day. We looked for more cupboard locks at a quick stop in Shopko and then went home. We had boiled potatoes and diced ham for the evening meal (they ate four times daily plus a snack in Kharkov), and then it was bath time: a big hit again!

We tried one of John’s T-shirts on Nick, he was initially excited to see a long shirt for him, but when he tried it on and the proportions were clearly all wrong he wanted to take it off and chose just a regular T-shirt of his own. He and John colored pictures on his bed while we hoped Dennis would wind down a bit. He never shows evidence of this, however. I was sitting in the rocking chair and Nick came over and wanted to sit on my lap. That was so cool! I showed him how leaning back was more comfortable and he relaxed while I rocked. He sat up once, but let me lean him back again and before long I was able to lay him in his bed. One down, EB2 (Energizer Bunny 2) to go, and that proved more difficult. He cried when picked up, so we moved to the other guest room. He always likes to hold something (actually, he would always like to hold everything) and somehow it was the little “Doodle-Pro” with the stylus attached by string tonight. He just couldn’t find a comfortable way to hold that (between us) and lay against me. After multiple adjustments I just took it away. Mean Mommy! He wanted to lie down – but on the corner of the guest bed, not in his crib. After a couple of attempts, I let him sleep there while I slept on the floor below him. When I woke up in an hour (9:20) I was able to put him to bed, woke John up from the couch down stairs and we went to bed – barely said “Good-night” and I was out again.

Sunday June 17, 2007 First Father’s Day

Dennis slid off the portable bed twice – once to pillows, once onto me, and third time I caught him. Never did he completely wake up and wail, so it didn’t take long to get him back down, and John and Nick never stirred in the king-sized bed they were sharing. I crawled in once, too, freezing on the floor next to Dennis’ bed and unable to move blankets without disturbing him. I woke up before the 7 AM alarm, but no one else did, and John agreed we would wait until 7:30 to shower and get ready as quickly as possible. The plan was to be ready to leave the hotel around 8 AM, not certain how frequently the shuttle came, and hoping to check in early for better seats. Both boys woke up without assistance, but like all new parents, and me especially, everything takes longer than expected. By the time we dressed them, fed them oatmeal, packed up and tried to share a cup of coffee, it was 8:20. We were still in plenty of time to check in. The shuttle drops off at Terminal 1 and everyone takes the train from there. We were happy to take Nick on a train after all. We thought we had missed out chance when we took the van from Kharkov to Kyiv. He thought it was pretty cool, too. We found a Star Bucks after check-in. They gave us a cup of hot water and we made more instant oatmeal for the boys before sharing two muffins four ways. John and I had mochas, of course.

Nick wasn’t any happier about the seat-belt restraints this day than the previous. He squirmed and said “ne gachoo” (his version of “I don’t want to”) and “ne nada” in response to our “nada” (must) and “skora” (soon) – over and over again. It was quite a relief to finally tell him “see chess” (now) when the seatbelt sign went off. All told, Nick slept about 1 ½ of the 8-hour flight, Dennis 45 minutes. John and I both visited with Bonnie, standing up in back with a book she hadn’t managed to read on a 19-day safari in Zimbabwe and two other countries I can’t remember. I had a great time hearing about her adventures, the protective measures they had to take, the animals they had seen, etc. We also talked about kids, especially since she is a mother, grandmother and former pre-school teacher. Dennis dozed off as we spoke and she rubbed his foot (that hasn’t worked for me since). British Airways has individual television screens for each seat on this overseas flight. We thought we had it “made in the shade” with Nick, since he has been so fascinated by every screen and picture that resembled a television. No. He must be looking for familiar cartoons in Russian he saw at the orphanage. He probably watched all of two minutes of “Finding Nemo” during the whole time it played. The flashing light with variable settings that Grandpa Gogolin had insightfully sent along was a big hit, though.

At last, at last it was nearly over, and I fed them both Gerber “Puffs” on the way down, partly to distract both of them from their restraints and also to keep them swallowing. It seemed to work on both scores. In Chicago we had to go through passport control and collect our luggage. Then it was off to customs, of course, and we had to go to a special area due to the adoption, but when we finished with that official the boys were U.S. citizens. Hurray! Getting the luggage rechecked proved to be a hassle because suddenly both boys decided it was better to run away from Mama and Papa than to be cooperative and stay in line. In the commotion at baggage claim we had forgotten to also pick up the stroller, so we had lost a convenient method of restraining at least one of them. Getting through security proved to be even worse, as we dove under the tapes to retrieve one or the other boys while removing liquids from the backpacks and shoes and belts from ourselves. At last all four of us had walked through the metal detector when a censorious voice asked, “Whose bag is this?” It was my backpack. “Is there a laptop computer in here?” Oh, no!!! I slammed my palms to my forehead and told them yes, and I couldn’t believe I had forgotten it. I was so sorry. The security agent was understanding, told me to take deep breaths, calm down and it was giggles and grins time. He said they just needed to do special tests on the computer, and then they did an individual wand and pat-down exam on me. The boys had temporarily settled down, so it gave us time to reassemble everything and everyone. We went to our gate, John found coffee and bananas and we took turns walking the boys up and down the corridors. Thirty minutes before our flight was scheduled to leave we became concerned because the flight to Green Bay still wasn’t listed at the gate, and we weren’t boarding. A check of the monitors showed that they had changed gates, and we had a good distance to cover. John was handling most of the carry-ons, so Nick needed to walk. Even when he was willing, he only had three-year-old legs to hurry with. We still made it in plenty of time, and even had to distract/entertain them some more at this lower level gate without views of the airplanes.

Once we boarded the boys each snarfed a banana, and Nick tolerated the restraint a little better. However, take-off was worse than ever with Dennis screaming and screaming for half the flight. Good thing it was only about 40 minutes long, but I sure was getting unpleasant looks from passengers ahead of us. They never turned off the seat belt signs, but I finally grabbed my backpack and found the cheese crackers John had picked up somewhere. Worked like a charm. I doled them out to both all the way home and through landing.

We actually arrived ahead of the 5:40 PM schedule, but we had to wait on the jet-way for our larger carry-on bags that had been checked plane-side in Chicago, then it was off to meet Grandpa and Grandma Gogolin, Grandma and Grandpa Thur and John’s sister Lois, who had all come to Green Bay to welcome us home. They were poised and waiting on the other side of the glass doors. John and Nick reached them first. Dennis had had it with being carried, so it took us longer to toddle along. It was so exciting and such a relief to finally introduce them in person (rather than by e-mail or phone). Nick was pretty brave, and readily agreed to take Grandma Thur’s hand. Dennis went into stunned mode, just like the day we met him, and he wasn’t leaving my arms for anyone. As far as concerns about attachment and bonding go, that was actually a very good response. Grandpa Thur brought our van around, we collected the three bags of checked luggage (down from the four on the outbound trip, but up from the two going from Kharkov to Kyiv due to the excessive weight). I had been very apprehensive about the boys’ reaction to the car seats, being even more restrictive than on the plane. John picked up some more bribe/distraction junk food, but it wasn’t needed at all. For whatever reason, they accepted the car seats without protest. In part it may have been because these seats lifted them up where they could see so much more, where in the plane it kept Nick pinned where he couldn’t see anything but the seat in front of him. We sat back with the boys while John’s dad drove. My parents were in their own car. Both boys fell asleep and I had a chance to visit with Lois on the fifty-mile trip home. We had just missed the Thur family reunion, and she was able to fill me in on the details, although I was far more distracted and unfocused than I would have liked.

Home at last! Banners and balloons awaited us and John had the presence of mind to take photographs as we drove up. Thankfully, the boys remained asleep, and we were able to carry them up and lay them down in the beds they had seen in the photographs so many times. John said it was the best possible Father’s Day present!

We opened the cards and gifts from those present, and although grateful for the thoughtfulness and generosity, we were too tired and incoherent to appreciate them then as much as we did the next day. Our families understandingly left in short order and we went up to bed.

Saturday June 16, 2007 Heading for Home

The clock said 6:23 when I woke up. I dozed for another 20 minutes but just had too much to think about for the day to go back to sleep. I debated showering, but was afraid Dennis might wake up and cry, waking Nick, so started journaling again. John came through at 7:30, and was back about 20 minutes later with a cheerful little three-year-old who came over to accept a hug. He put up a big, long fuss about showering, but once he got in there with Papa, he seemed fine. Wish we knew what was so objectionable; we might be able to accommodate or explain.

Anya came back again after breakfast and waited with us. Nick told her then that at bedtime you are supposed to take a bath, put on a long shirt and then go to bed. Wonder if that has been his difficulty with bedtime? We have showered him in the morning (no bathtub in this hotel), and we don’t have any “long” shirts for him. On the other hand, bathing ten or eleven children at bedtime seems unlikely, especially since have observed bath-time in the summer: the entire group lined up stark naked outside their room, and then plunged two at a time into a small swimming pool. Sasha came a little before noon to get us all loaded and over to the airport. We even had enough room in the car for Anya to ride along, so Nick’s farewell was delayed a bit. At the airport, however, the tears were streaming down his sad, mad little face when Anya told him good-bye. It was the first sign of any unhappiness we had seen over leaving. It lasted through customs, airline check-in and continued up in the long wait for passport control. There we had to step to the side while something special was checked due to the adoption. During the additional wait Nick needed to use the restroom. The need became more and more urgent, and the woman standing next to us asked what the problem was. When we told her, she checked with the official, and the only restroom was back downstairs. John hurried him downstairs, and when they came back he spotted the apple we had placed in his backpack. I had let him choose a piece of fruit when we were in the grocery store with Anya, and at her insightful suggestion, we told him he could have it at the airport. We indicated he had to wait until we were “tahm” (over there, the other side of passport control). I played a version of peek-a-boo with Dennis using his hat, and joined in the pantomime of almost unbearable anticipation with Nick of eating that marvelous big apple. Finally through passport control and seated with all of our carry-on luggage, he could hardly believe it when we said “see-CHESS” (now). He ate it down to the stem. Anya also called during the wait to board (30 minutes late) to check on us and we saw his gorgeous sunbeam smile emerge when we held the phone to his ear.

After clearing security at the gate, and waiting longer to board, we got settled in to three of the four seats we paid for. Dennis sat on my lap with an extension seatbelt. We had purchased a special harness for children to wear on planes that Nick wore – and hated. He squirmed and cried and told us he didn’t want to and didn’t have to (in Russian) again and again and again. Then they informed us that due to the “atrocious” weather in London, we wouldn’t be taking off for at least another hour. They did allow us to get up, use the restrooms, and they served us beverages as well as handing out some things to amuse the kids. After the hour was up the captain told us it would be another thirty minutes, but it was actually one of the shortest waits for planes trying to get into Heathrow. Take-off was miserable for Nick due to the restraints, and Dennis also cried and cried when the seatbelts went on until take-off, but we all survived. The flight-attendants had found a woman who spoke Russian to come up and explain the necessity to Nick, but it didn’t help as far as I could tell. Writing this down two weeks later, I really don’t remember any other details of the four-hour flight, except it was work to keep them both quietly occupied and restraining Nick for landing was equally difficult.

In London at passport control we ran into problems. We were asked if we had cleared the travel through England with the British Embassy. We hadn’t. We had been told by our travel agent that wasn’t required since we were only spending the night due to connecting flights. The official informed us that was incorrect, and that it was our responsibility to contact the government of each foreign city we would be traveling through to meet the appropriate requirements. We searched for an English translation of the court decree, but couldn’t find one. It seemed the only ones were in the sealed envelops we needed to hand in when we reach the U.S., and we absolutely could not open them. (Several days after we got home we found two English copies of the adoption decree in another folder). We gave him whatever English translations we could find, and he told us to take a seat. Thus another extended wait with tired little boys who couldn’t even understand us. With the paperwork we gave him, and the limited length of our stay, he was able to get an exemption for us, but we won’t make that mistake again. It made us even more unhappy that our agent hadn’t arranged a single-day flight as we had requested, more than once. We tried to get our boarding passes for the next day, then headed to the pick-up area for the shuttle to our hotel. We were supposed to be able to buy tickets from an agent, but none were present, or out of a machine, but it wasn’t taking credit cards. John went inside to exchange money, and then was able to buy them directly from the driver. We checked into the hotel and arranged for a portable bed to be placed in the room. We had a bathtub, so we hoped a bedtime bath would help Nick settle better. It didn’t, but both boys did enjoy the bath. We thought just maybe we could get Nick to sleep in the portable bed, but after three nights of sleeping right with John, that went over like a lead balloon. Nick and John were in the king-sized bed, and Nick complained repeatedly that Dennis wasn’t sleeping while I walked and walked and walked trying to get Dennis to sleep. Finally by 11:05 (believe me, I was looking at all the digital clocks since I couldn’t see anything else) everyone else was asleep and I lay down, too. I think that was 1:05 AM Ukraine time.

Friday June 15, 2007 It’s a Go! (We get the visas)

As I recall a week later, we all slept the rest of the night. John and Nick with Sasha back to the Embassy for the visas. They left at 8:00, so Dennis and I ate breakfast downstairs as scheduled at 8:30, they ate after returning (successfully). Friends Vitaly and Lera called to say they would like to come after work and meet the boys, so we made plans for supper.

Anya had the day off because her company was having an “end-of-the-busy-season” party on an island for all 500 employees that day, and she graciously spent the day with us. We walked to the park Oksana had shown us before heading to Kharkov – the tulips were gone, but Anya knew about the playground equipment, and Nick was especially thrilled to hear about the sandbox/pile. She got the gist that digging was very important to him (he couldn’t stop talking about it all the way there), so we had her tell him we would be getting a sandbox at home.

Sure enough, the park had a beautiful new playground. Dennis was content to wait and acclimate to the new surroundings from the stroller for awhile. Nick just didn’t know where to start. Anya was able to encourage him and help him try some new things. She and I also had some time to sit and chat while John and Nick played, then John came and said a group of students wanted to use Nick in a film they were making about family life. We figured: why not? So they did some videos playing on the slides and other equipment. They suggested riding on a pony, but he only liked them at a pretty good distance. However, when he saw the motorized little cars, he couldn’t wait to get in. After that we went to the restaurant in the park. We had borscht and potatoes for the boys again. Anya had had strawberries with blinis here before and recommended them, but the waitress came back to say they were out of strawberries.
I opted for the honey and “?”, Anya had apple and cinnamon. Turns out the “?” were poppy seeds. Poppy seeds are far more popular in Ukraine than at home. Very tasty! Oksana called while we were eating – she had already come to the park once, but we missed her somehow. She came back again just to say “good-bye” – she takes the train to L’viv tonight to meet the GAiNUSA team.

We let Nick play in the playground for a little while longer, but he rather quickly told Anya he was ready to leave and go back “home”. On the way out Anya encouraged him to get a little closer to the small pony he had refused to ride earlier. She crouched between him and the pony, helped him touch its flank and see how soft it felt, and how coarse the main was, and the next thing you know the proprietor had him on it’s back! Anya stayed right with him and he was fine! We rushed to take pictures of what was likely his first pony ride.

Anya stayed all day, and Nick was in heaven. Even when he was naughty, Anya was able to talk him out of it. She was able to help us understand some things about him, and also explained some things to him for us – like traveling over the next couple of days and possibly needing disposable training pants on the airplane. They played with the English-Russian cards we found at the bookstore in Kharkov, and she generally kept him occupied while we did some organizing and packing for the next day. Nick asked her if she would be coming on the airplane with us. It was good to know he had understood us when we told him we would be flying on the “sem-a- lyote’ (airplane) to go to “nash dom” (our home).

We met Vitaly and Lera by the Ukrainian cafeteria and all seven of us ate dinner there together. We encouraged Anya to help Nick choose foods and use her best judgment. She doesn’t have children of her own yet, and says she never really helped or helps take care of other children, but she is a natural with Nick, and seems to remember many helpful things about her own childhood. Nick had fish for supper – and really liked it. He also ate a slice of lemon peel – rind and all. He said he was full – but kept having another bite of potatoes, or whatever he found on the table. Before we were finished, he literally fell asleep sitting up. But only temporarily – of course!

Anya said “good-bye” after supper, with a promise to come again the next day. Vitaly and Lera came over to the apartment/hotel until 9:00 when they left to catch their train to Vitaly’s home town. They had gifts for each boy, but suggested waiting to give them so it wouldn’t excite them more before bed. Good and gracious advice. It was great to see them, and if we had flown out this day, they wouldn’t have been able to meet Nick and Dennis.

Dennis was the later one this time. Shortly after Vitaly and Lera left we gave Nick the option of sleeping with me or with John (not, of course whether to sleep) and as expected he chose John, so they went back into the bedroom while I worked on Dennis. He actually calmed down pretty quickly, and was laying in his bed with his eyes just closed when Nick needed something from our room, not only was this interesting to Dennis, but as an added bonus Nick tossed Dennis’ hippo into the bed. Now Dennis hasn’t been all that interested in Hippo, but tonight he was just fascinated. I worked on getting him to sleep again, but after I disappeared from sight to hand water bottles through to John for a thirsty Nick, Dennis was sitting up, crying and would not be consoled in bed. Even holding didn’t get him sleepy again, so while Nick was peacefully sleeping, Dennis stayed up with me to pack, happily playing until - well, may have been 11:00 by then, I didn’t check. When Mama took away his plastic bottle because he decided it was best for making loud noises, he was crying and upset and ready to be held and finally went to sleep. I went back to putting all our belongings back into three suitcases and three backpacks (John has all of the important documents, electronics and his own overnight items in his small suitcase). It was midnight when I went to bed.

Thursday June 14, 2007 Applying for Visitors’ Visas at US Embassy

Dennis had very brief crying episodes at 10:30, but didn’t get up. I was up at 6:00 when he began to stir a bit. I was so anxious to keep him quiet if he did start to cry so that he wouldn’t wake up the rest of the family (that sounds sooo good!) that I couldn’t relax. Besides, the springs on this bed are rather noisy, and I didn’t want that to wake him up, either. That still gave me eight hours of solid sleep (spaseeba bolshoya, a very big thank you, Lord) and some time to journal. John and Nick were up about 7:00, so ten hours of sleep for them, and we were all quiet enough that Dennis didn’t wake up until 7:45 AM. Hurray! Remarkable what a good night’s sleep can do for your outlook on parenthood and the possibilities of the day.

Nick told John he was hungry (might be the first time, although he occasionally requested a cookie at the orphanage) long before our scheduled breakfast at 9:00, so John took him and a packet of instant kasha (like oatmeal) to the kitchen and prepared it in the microwave. He ate the whole bowl. We all showered today (first time we’ve bathed the boys). We don’t have a tub this time, and I think the shower was a new experience. John was able to coax Nick through his pretty peacefully. Dennis cried throughout, but not hysterically. Nick found his comb and combed the hair of all the men. We were all ready for breakfast early. When we went down (just a couple of steps and through a door) a few minutes early they began to prepare that sumptuous meal we had come to know at the beginning of the trip. We had plenty of food in the order for two to feed all four, even with their decent appetites. They fixed a bowl of our kasha for Dennis, too. I wasn’t surprised when he ate the whole thing.

Sasha picked us up for the US Embassy. We didn’t have all of the applications and forms for the visitor’s visas the boys need until just then, so I tried to entertain a bit as they sorted through paperwork.
Then off to the Embassy. We arrived around 10:30. Security is understandably tight, so no water bottles or snacks, etc. I did bring a plastic bag with a diaper, a changing pad, a couple of wipes and a clean shirt for Dennis. Dennis carried a small plastic ball and Nick had his comb. John had a stack of papers easily six inches high. No one is permitted to accompany us to the appointment, so Sasha stayed with us until we all made it through security, then went to wait for us outside – not having any idea when we would finish. The waiting room for adoptions was small and pretty full. A sign said the occupancy allowed was 13 people, but we exceeded that by a few. John went up to one of the two windows to check in. A couple from Kentucky, who just adopted four-year-old Eli from Priluki (we were there two years ago on a mission trip) arrived immediately behind us. Both men started handing in the various papers, but we took much, much longer. It was hard to figure out the corresponding Ukrainian documents and their English translation. At one point it looked like we didn’t have the original court decree, which is absolutely required, and they said we would have to get it from Kharkov – that going home this week didn’t look likely. No! John went out to Sasha, who said we had it with us. John searched again. The “original” court decree looked like a copy because it was in fact photocopied showing the staple on the original, and then an original signature was placed on it.

During all of this, a lovely Ukrainian young woman had taken it upon herself to keep our Nick occupied. She knew where they kept the toys and entertained him going over colors, numbers, animals, by looking out the window and combing his hair for well over an hour, until she and her mother went in for their appointment. That was a life-saver, because Dennis was pretty full of energy by then and required most of my attention. Other people, all very polite, asked about them, their region, where we are from, etc.

Somehow it seems we could have been better prepared – at least having the necessary applications given to us before we were picked up to go to the Embassy. The couple from Kentucky was in and out long before us. Our appointment time of 11:00 came and went. The necessary documents and forms were finally identified and signed just after 12:00. The cashier hadn’t left, so we could pay the fee, but all of the consulate representatives were now gone for lunch, so we were told we would have to wait about and hour-and-a-half. What!!! This time we did go to the nicer waiting room with toys for the kids (I didn’t earlier because of Nick’s entertainer, and John needed information and my signature on some of the forms being filled out). At least now it was two adults for two children and when Nick needed the restroom, John could hold Dennis. But we had only a water dispenser, no food and no ability to leave since they had all four passports. We had to take away all of the crayons, markers and pencils because they became hazardous. Dennis took a couple of tumbles, one right off a chair to the hard floor, and I should have seen it coming. Bad, bad, Mama.  No lost teeth, however, or even a mark on his noggin, and the tears didn’t last long because he had a toy vacuum cleaner to continue dragging around the room.

At 1 PM we were invited to come back for the “interview”. It was blessedly easy and smooth and we were quickly done. Unfortunately, it was so late now that the possibility of getting the visas today was dwindling. The boys’ photos had to be processed through a database (wanted to make sure they weren’t international terrorists, maybe), and that took hours. He said we could come back at 4 PM and see if they were ready. Only one of us had to return. The young woman who had helped John through all of the paperwork came around to our side then. She said these kids were just too precious and she simply had to hold them. This was the first time in her three weeks here she had been on the other side of the protective enclosure. I was quite flattered on the boys’ behalf! She came all the way outside, so she was likely on her way to lunch, too. She is a college student in the States. Her parents work at the Embassy so she is here for a summer internship.

Free at last, free at last! Sasha was faithfully waiting, having no idea what was taking so long, and with no cell phones permitted inside, and no passports to go out and come back, we had no way to let him know. On the way back to the apartment both boys fell asleep, but of course woke up when we stopped, so we went to the Ukrainian cafeteria for lunch. I tried to get Dennis down for a nap then, but it proved a futile venture. We have already decided we prefer to sleep at night, so don’t even try to get a nap for/from Nick.

John and Nick left at 3:30 with Sasha to see about the visas, Dennis and I had a really nice afternoon. Turns out entertaining him in the right setting is easy and not even physically demanding: a single room where you can always see him and enough safe items scattered about that he can move around, or bring to you (with a very enthusiastic “thank you” or “spaceeba”) and receive back (with the correspondingly enthusiastic “you’re welcome” or “pahzhalusta”). That’s it! Around 5 PM John called to say they were on St. Andrew’s Slope and Sasha was picking up something at the State Department. No visas today, but they should be available in the morning. I suggested he find something for Nick to eat, I had already given Dennis the 4 PM meal, and he should buy whatever souvenirs he wanted. I met the family in the next apartment/hotel room – Sasha had told us they were next door. They are from Alabama and are here to adopt a 15-year-old from Zaporozhe. They met her when she was in the states on a “cultural tour” for a week or so with other older orphans from Ukraine. The mother and daughter, Anna, had already been to Ukraine to visit her once. They were also trying to adopt an 11-year-old, but for seven years the director has illegally failed to have her registered, so it won’t happen on this trip. They are a great family of believers, and it would be great to spend more time with them. Anna loves kids and would have watched ours, had the need arisen before they leave tomorrow morning at 4 AM (by van).

Oksana called to check in and let us know she wouldn’t be able to join us this evening, but let us know that Anya is in town. So I called Anya and we made plans for supper. The Ukrainian café is a good landmark on our block (across from TGIF’s and Patio Pizza). She gave us the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and a magnet showing a stork nest up in a tree with two baby storks!

We decided to eat at Patio Pizza for a change of taste. It went well, but if Nick was comfortable with Oksana, he adored Anya. We let him try some pizza after his borscht. I had some baby food for Dennis. He acted voraciously hungry, and then fell asleep between bites less than halfway down the jar. Guess that was enough revive him, because then he was his usual eating-machine. We visited with Anya back at the apartment until 9:00, and Anya persuaded Nick to go to bed without a fight. I introduced her to the family next door, since Zaporozhe is her home town and she could tell her where they might like to stay and what they might like to see during the inevitable waiting time.

John has been trying to get our tickets home changed to Friday, but it has been hard to reach the travel agent in California, especially with the 10-hour time difference. I guess there was never a chance to go home early because no seats have been available, at least not with whatever restrictions come with the “adoption fares”. Just have to keep reminding myself this has been a surprise to God, and our eagerness to finally be at home with the boys isn’t necessarily necessary.

Wednesday June 13, 2007 First Day Back in Kyiv

Weowwww – what a start to this day!
We arrived safely in Kyiv around 3 AM. Dennis slept nearly the whole trip, Nick not much. He sat up next to John, or on his lap looking out the window at the lights, the cars, the buildings, etc.
He did fall asleep just long enough that when got into the hotel room he figured it was a new day and let’s get going! Consequently he kept all of us up for a couple more loud, crying, protesting hours. Then, thankfully, John was able to calm him down for about 2 hours of sleep. John and Nick started in the bedroom at the outer edge of the apartment, but it was too bright to sleep, so they took the bedroom Dennis and I started in (where Dennis fell out of the bed) and we moved to the living room, where a coffee table against the sofa seemed safer, anyway.
At this point I deal primarily with Dennis and John with Nick, if that hasn’t been obvious. We are trying to let Dennis develop one primary secure bond to help him through these ongoing, tremendous transitions. He has had some nice snuggles and some “’guy-time” with John, especially those mornings when we had to wait for Nick. Nick was attracted to John from the beginning, and John has been great at figuring out ways to deal with Nick’s rebellious behavior, like having him be calm to the count of pyet (five) when he is on a naughty spree, and giving him the option of agreeing to obey or face unpleasant consequences. He also figured out that Nick needs warning before changes. For instance, we started telling Nick about fifteen minutes before the end of each session that “Soon we must return to the group.” The ends of our sessions changed from battles to a congenial packing up and rejoining of the orphanage groups. Like all parents, I wish we could figure these things out sooner, but it has been good progress with just 60 hours of interaction before Tuesday, I guess. John suggested this morning, and I concurred: the goal for today is we are all four still alive, and for getting home: we are all wearing some form of clothing.
I must have slept a couple of hours, but Dennis was restless unless I held him a lot of the time over night. At last I was able to lay him down without holding him at all. Sleep was pretty hopeless after 6:00 AM for me. The apartment we had just for that night was very bright and well-lit with sunlight – and nothing to cover the nice windows. I sorted out our food supplies, quietly, in the kitchen. Shortly thereafter John and Nick were up for the day. The apartment has four rooms plus the kitchen and bathroom, and the boys were fascinated with just everything = outlets, light switches, and Nick especially by the television, VCR and cable box. They just couldn’t leave anything alone. While I showered John was on “kid duty” and Dennis woke up. We tried to find some suitable food among our belongings. We had picked up instant kasha with raspberries, and that went over very well. Once John was showered we headed out on a walk, trying the used stroller we had picked up at the market in Kharkov for the first time. Both of the boys were awed by the city. Nick grabbed the stuffed tiger we gave him at our Kharkov apartment the day before (Dennis has a hippo, and Sasha’s expected baby has a lion) and readily held our hand (we traded off). He commented on the “machinas” (cars), but other than answering when we gave him the option of direction to walk didn’t say anything at all. He just looked and looked and looked. Dennis was more stunned, just sitting in the stroller with a glazed look. We walked to the end of the block (not the Ukrainian cafeteria end) and turned back to go to the underground mall. It just opened at 10:00 AM and our timing was perfect. At the tea shop we stopped to buy a couple of things. Purchases in the stores here are always removed from the box and each piece presented to show no defect. Electrical appliances are even plugged into to show that they work. While John observed the quality of each item I got down in front of Dennis and played with him until he was smiling and laughing.
We had everything packed up by 10:45 and were waiting for Sasha’s 11:00 arrival to help us move to an apartment we can use until we leave, and then to the boys’ noon medical physical. Sasha didn’t come until nearly noon, and it was really hard to occupy the boys with all of their toys, books, crayons, etc. packed away. With the major lack of sleep neither of us was in a very charitable mood, but Sasha is the kind of guy that you can’t help but quickly forgive, and especially as he grabs two heavy suitcases to lug them back down five flights of stairs. Back at the office the new apartment wasn’t ready, so we stored the large pieces of luggage there and the smaller things of the second load were stashed in Sasha’s trunk. Nick needed a little encouragement to get into the car. I don’t think he was afraid, I think he was more incredulous that he was riding a third “machina” within twenty=four hours.
It was about 12:30 when we arrived at the international medical clinic, but Sasha had called to make sure the doctor was still in (he generally works 8 – 12). He has a “good relation” with the doctor, and is allowed to schedule the adoption physicals at any reasonable time of the day. The doctor is very good with children. He speaks Russian (and pretty good English), and explained each thing he was going to do to Nick in advance. Nick was quiet and very well-behaved (as he is in every new , stimulating experience until he gets comfortable). Dennis cried a bit for his physical, but the doctor was able to calm him a bit, too, and get a quiet listen of his lungs and heart. After the physical examination he had to write up the report and then copies or some other paperwork needed to be completed, so we sat in the exam room and waited. Then we moved out to the waiting hallway for a bit more, and finally Sasha agreed to return later to pick up the documents. Of course it ended up extending through meal time and the first hour of nap time. I was armed with pretzels and water for the boys, but that only goes so far. Dennis went to sleep pretty easily after some lunch, so I slept for about an hour. John was never able to persuade Nick to nap (although he fell asleep briefly in the car after the physical). Maybe tonight???? Dennis slept two hours, a little less than is usual, but we hope he, too, will sleep tonight.
We have been in touch with Oksana here in Kyiv throughout our Ukrainian stay, and she came over after work to meet the boys. It was great to see her. She is in the final preparation phase for the summer GAiNUSA trip – the team arrives this weekend. We were so happy she had time to come for a visit. We ate at the Ukrainian cafeteria. She helped carry our food on her tray so that between her and John we had enough food for three adults and two children. Nick was happily over-stimulated and just drank it all in. We fed the boys green borscht (they ran out of the regular), boiled potatoes, some cottage cheese blini and bottled water. Amongst all the helpful advice we have received from those far more experience than ourselves, no one mentioned the “new parent diet” before. I didn’t drop any weight with all of the walking in Kharkov, but I likely will just trying to sneak a couple of bites in my own mouth while shoveling food into Dennis’ mouth as quickly as I can. When he gets food he wants to eat. Now. Of course there is always the matter of watching how close Nick’s bowl gets to the edge of the table, etc., but John is developing a pretty good eye for those things, too.
After dinner Oksana accompanied us to the underground grocery store across the street for supplies to get us through a couple more days here. We left Kharkov in a rush to be here first thing Wednesday thinking we would be able to have the boys’ physical exams in the morning, then go to the US embassy and have their travel visas that evening and maybe even catch a plane on Thursday. Well, something got missed in communication between the Sashas, and the medical exam was scheduled at noon, and the Embassy appointment not until 11:00 the next day, so evening leaving on Friday is looking dicey. We can’t even ask to change the tickets until we have those visas.
By the end of grocery shopping Dennis was pretty tired and although I started at 8:00 and he wasn’t asleep until 8:30, it was pretty easy compared to whatever John was up against with Nick behind the closed door in the bedroom. I am sleeping on the pull-out couch in the living room with two nice armchairs pushed together facing each other for Dennis. Nick had another temper tantrum, with one of those lengthy crying episodes (he can keep it up for an hour, then turn it off in the blink of an eye – probably the only way to get attention for yourself when competing with a group of ten other three-year-olds for the past year). But then I think John decided to give him the chance to prepare, like we did for the end of our visits at the orphanage and delayed bedtime for another half hour, telling him “Soon, it will be time for bed.” He still told John “nyet” when they came through our room to use the toilet, but it was a quiet, calm refusal, and once they went into the bedroom, I heard no crying or yelling. I stayed up until 10:00 writing and went to bed.

June 12, 2007 Our "Gotcha Day"

Up till midnight or so packing, then journaling – why, oh why, do I ever think it ever won’t take me long to pack? Didn’t sleep great – too much to anticipate, I think.



Andre picked us up around 7:30/8:00 (I’m writing this after two eventful days, and the details are already escaping me). Knowing we had lots of waiting time built into this day I was well-armed with medical literature and knitting. We reached the boys home town (leaving Kharkov in the vicinity of Alec and Nadya’s home) before 9:00 AM, which is when the office opened. Several people were already waiting under nearby trees because of a light rain. When Sasha took cover until the entrance, one of the women came over and told him we would have to wait our turn, they were there first. He assured her he was just taking cover. I waited under the trees for a bit, industriously reading article summaries from AAP Grand Rounds until the mosquitoes drove me away. When the entryway barricade was removed we filed in and took our appropriate place in the line. Each party entered a formidable heavy door one at a time, the door closed until that party finished and then the next entered. We entered at 9:30 – not bad. Inside were two desks – the main person and her secretary. There were only two additional seats, so the secretary retrieved a third from some place. After Sasha provided all the necessary paperwork, included the sealed decree from the judge granting our petitions (that we be allowed to adopt the two listed boys, that their names be changed as we requested, and that we be listed as their parents on the birth certificate). The secretary brought the pertinent files. At 9:55 we (John and I) were invited to sit in another room for the approximated one-hour wait to have the new birth certificates made. We were escorted back through the hallway of waiting people to a door at the other end. The secretary opened the lock and invited us to sit down. The room had large windows, two wicker chairs and a small table. We took our seats. That is precisely where I finished Nick’s sweater. John also read a couple of the article summaries, but on this day that became more boring than doing nothing. Usually he finds them far more interesting. Meanwhile Sasha was at the bank making the payment for the creation of the documents (that’s how they do it here – no direct payments to the governmental offices). A woman came into our room once. We guessed she was looking for Sasha. We didn’t understand what she said, and when she saw it was just the two of us, not understanding her, she indicated we should still sit, then left, closing the door. We joked about whether she locked the door behind her again.



In a little less than an hour we were invited back to the office, after some signatures and verification of accuracy, and with a bit of ceremony (she made another couple at the secretary’s desk step out) she presented us with the birth certificates. It was heady to see our names on the certificates of Nickolai John Thur and Dennis Andrew Thur. She handed them to John, and after a thrilling few seconds, Sasha asked for them and quickly, safely filed them away. The women laughed that it seemed he didn’t trust John with them. I can only imagine if they got lost, or weren’t available just when needed at this point . . .



Then it was back to Kharkov. We had to have the seal/signature authenticated, then have notarized copies made, then lunch at McDonald’s while waiting for the Ukrainian passport office to open at 2:00. At the passport office Sasha and Andre’ did all of the work while we waited. They finally came out and Andre’ said “maybe tomorrow”. Since they had already had us sign a slip of paper that said we had received the passports, we were confident that was a joke. In fact, after a bit more waiting we were led to a different area of that floor of the building and presented with the boys’ Ukrainian passports, and verified the accuracy. Hurray!



Then it was off to the train station to book seats (we planned to buy out two compartments with four beds each). Guess what? No seats available! That was a dilemma, because taking the train the next morning would (we thought) decrease our chances of getting both the medical examinations and processing at the US Embassy all done the next day. Also, Sasha would be unable to travel with us the next day as he was needed in another city to be with a family in court. In addition, Andre’s van was broken, so he couldn’t drive us himself, and for once this man of otherwise endless resources, connections and local knowledge couldn’t find someone with a large enough vehicle to take all of us and our luggage. John called our friend Alec, and he thought he might know someone who could take us. He would call back.



We had to dash home to pick up clothes for the boys (John and I hadn’t realized we would spend the entire day with S&A) and rush to the orphanage to pick up our sons. It was already 5:00 and the orphanage director had been calling Sasha a lot, upset that it was the end of the working day and we hadn’t come yet. When we arrived she was polite enough with us, but we did have some lengthy formalities to complete and the secretary also seemed less than thrilled to stay the additional hour. At last, however, the last paper was signed, the last forms handed over, and we went for the boys. For the first time since the first day Dennis cried when I took him from the caregiver. Did he have any idea just what it meant to go with “Mama and Papa” today? We took off the orphanage clothes and put on an outfit I thought would be comfortable for travel. We said good-bye to the caregivers, who had us quick explain the family members in the photo album we had left, and went for Nick.




Nick’s group was all outside their room, near the front entrance. He was jumping up and down when we first arrived, and was still excited – as were all the children. We indicated we would step inside to redress him, but the caregiver indicated “no”, and we did it right in the middle of his friends (including the new, non-white underwear). Good-byes were said again, and some of the other children took the opportunity to get a couple of hugs from us themselves. I can’t remember a time even on the mission trips when I so badly wanted homes for these group-mates of Nick we had become acquainted with.




Then it was into the car and on our way. If receiving documents about the boys was heady, I just don't have the words for the emotions experienced when we took the boys away from the orphanage as our sons. No words.



In the midst of all this, a friend of Alec’s father was engaged to drive us to Kyiv. He could be ready by 9:00 PM. We stopped at the Billa one last time for travel supplies, then back to the apartment to entertain the boys for a couple of hours. They were into everything! At last Dennis discovered the big empty jugs of water we hadn’t thrown away yet and happily amused himself carrying three or four of them at a time back and forth, back and forth. Nick wasn’t too bad because his much-admired “Sasa” was there for a while, before going to get some documents scanned and sent to Sasha in Kyiv. By 9:00 the apartment manager was waiting inside to get the apartment cleaned. I think she fills vacancies very rapidly. These apartment buildings are often remarkably rundown on the outside, and our entryway was dark and almost scary with a broken light (and exposed wiring) and broken flooring/steps, also filthy. But ten you step inside a very nicely finished and furnished apartment and the contrast is remarkable.



At last we met Misha, loaded up his lovely new ten-passenger van and climbed aboard. John with Nick and I with Dennis each had a row of seats - individual buckets that recline. Sasha sat up with Misha, his seat didn’t recline. We prayed together before setting out. It was good. Dennis went to sleep almost before we left Kharkov, saying on me as I stretched out across our three-seat row. Nick was quiet, but stimulated by all the lights and the new experiences, and didn’t sleep much at all.



I’m going to post this now, although John may have more details to add another time. It is Wednesday night, and the room he is sharing with Nick is dark and quiet. Sleep at last. I need to follow suit.

Have the boys!!! Head to Kiev by car.

We are traveling by van to Kiev instead by train because the train was pack.
Alex dad's friend will be driving us.
We arrived at the orphanage at 5:10 and took custody of the boys at 6:15

It’s Official!

The alarm went off at 7 AM, I got up sometime before 7:30. We are working on using up the food we have here – the cereal, milk, yogurt, eggs. We went a bag full of gifts for the orphanage (the clothing for girls, bottles and liners and toothbrushes) in a very big Sasha, who was headed first to court.We left in time to stop at the French Pastry one last time. We had the same order, which the girl who works there smilingly stated. When we finished and left we indicated we said good-bye and indicated we would be (hopefully) leaving for Kyiv tomorrow.

At the orphanage we gave Susan a sheet of toothbrushes (12) to give to Losha’s group and said our good-byes, safe travel and good lucks in case we didn’t run into each other later. Then I used the bathroom while John went for Nick, and then I went up for Dennis. Before they brought him out Nick came running down the hall to me! They handed Dennis off without shoes or hat, but one of the main caretakers came through and indicated we should wait, and she brought the shoes and hat. The sandals are size 19 (we bought him size 21 by foot measurement) and I couldn’t squeeze his chubby little feet into them without leaving one of the bottom straps open.

We settled on the outdoor stairway. Activities included: “painting”, bubbles, ball, crashing plastic truck into the steps (discovering the cab also opens, and breaking a piece), Nick being a true big brother and taking the forbidden big sticks out of Dennis’ hands, visits from Sasha (“Sasa” per Nick) which were welcomed as diversions from parental control and some normal naughtiness.

Sasha was unable to obtain the official decree granting us parenthood this morning because the assistant was ill, the papers weren’t ready and perhaps when the judge came in after lunch . . . However, Sasha was then available to help us give the gifts to the orphanage – as mentioned above and including the customary discretionary monetary gift – and make arrangements for the going-away parties in the afternoon. On the way home we stopped at the Billa for travel goodies and party-reconnaissance.

We grabbed the hotdogs for a quick lunch, and then prepared the gifts for the groups and caregivers. John ran out to get four more gift bags. Dennis’ room has nine caregivers (later we were told twelve) and Nick’s room eight. Very soon it was time to head back so we could pick up juice, bananas, apples and cookies at the Billa. Andre’ was busy with other work today, and we sorely (arms, shoulders and backs) missed him, especially carrying the two bags of gifts, two bags of groceries and our normal two bags. Thankfully John’s back is improving (he is laying on an ice pack as I write, though).

Sasha had by then returned from a successful revisit to court! Hurray! We know that Nickolai John and Dennis Andrew Thur are now our sons. Wow!!! And all systems go for the parties. We had a few small personal gifts for the director – a nice been, Aurora mug that changes colors with heat, and a framed photograph of our family (she was very happy to add it to her collection). I also had a stethoscope for the medical woman (doctor) who had been very helpful on several occasions. She was very grateful. She said she loves children, and that was easy to see, too. Then the parties.

We had arranged for Dennis’ to begin at 4:00. It consisted of us attending their feast. Four were seated at tables, two were standing in a huge playpen area that had steps, a ramp and parallel bars, and two children were lying in separate cribs. The four children were given portions of bananas, whey (“casein”) to drink, and as many cookies as they could snarf down in thirty minutes. They let us see the sleeping room and pointed out Dennis’ crib, but allllll photographs were strictly prohibited. Oh well. We gave them toys for the group – some we have been using here and some new ones. We gave them the gifts for the caregivers, including the candy flowers from Alec and Nadya’s business which we had ordered and were delivered to the orphanage. When we gave the photo album of the boys, us and our home, it was very well received. The caregivers had many words, we know she was telling us how much the children all mean to them, and seemed to indicate they would like to receive more pictures as he grows up. Then it was on to Nick’s room. Poor Dennis didn’t seem all that excited when we arrived, but when Papa said “paka” and began to leave without him he burst into tears. The caregivers sent us on our way and consoled him.

In Nick’s room the eleven children were all seated around three little chairs, just waiting. Their caregiver is very good and keeping order, directing quiet activities as we have observed before. Nick was very excited to see us, of course. He is always very proud in front of his friends. We unloaded the food and the caregiver gave each a whole banana. This was received well, to say the least. As Mama and Papa blew up balloons Nick delivered them one by one to each member of the group. Then I got the okay from the caregiver to give each a 3-dimensional butterfly (I always give these out on the mission trips). The children were all quite worked up by then, and we agreed with the caregiver that the other treats (juice boxes, cookies, apples and candy) could wait for another time. She wasn’t the least upset with the excitement; in fact she joined right in with the balloon play. The kids seemed to like the fact that they and not just Nick got to play with us today. Some definitely called John “Nikita’s Papa”, and some just “Papa”. We also gave this group toys – used and new, and the same gifts for the caregivers (gift bag with a large bar of Chocolove Chocolate, tea from Frontier and a bath/body item, plus the candy flower). We left Nick there while we went for Dennis.

It took a little while to get Dennis, we don’t know what was being explained to us – could have been related to the impending rain – but eventually they brought him, shoes stuffed back into those small sandals and all. Then we found Nick. His group was still inside (never did go outside this afternoon). We were out for about 45 minutes before the rain, thunder and lightening drove us hurriedly indoors with Susan and Losha. Something about the rush scared Nick, his heart was racing and he looked very upset, but Papa was able to take him just outside the door and reassure him. That brought four adoptive families into the long, green-carpeted hallway (us, Susan and Losha, a Ukrainian couple and the Italians). The Italians left early, the Ukrainians a little early, but the Americans held out until the last minute (Susan leaves early tomorrow morning for three days in St. Petersburg for business, when she returns Friday she will be doing the same paper chase we hope to accomplish tomorrow). Dennis back to his room first, then Nick. We have been trying to tell Nick that tomorrow we will (all) take a train (to Kyiv). Doubtful that he understands, but he will soon enough.

When we finished Sasha and Andre were waiting for us. Andre knew where we could find an electric kettle to heat water, one final gift purchase. Then he took us back to the apartment. After a few quick phone calls we headed to Bella Pizza one last time (probably). John and I shared a large “Bomb” pizza, anti pasta and a chief salad. Sasha had a pizza, and being unusually hungry, also had spaghetti (the kind John had on Friday) while we had dessert. We both had the tiramisu since they were out of the Italian charlotte. (Oh, when we ate at the orange building café last Thursday I had hoped to try the “Drunken Shepherdess” Salad, but it was one of those mythical menu items, if I hadn’t mentioned this before.)

Then it was time to pack – as usual took much longer than I anticipated, and then I needed to get every last miniscule remembered detail down before we could finally go to bed.

Good night! (Up tomorrow at 6:00.)

Ben’s Confirmation

I was up shortly after 7:00, showered and had a protein bar and berry zinger tea for breakfast.

We left early enough to stop at the photo place for one last (we thought) round of printing passport photos. At Love and Salvation Church we were introduced two Americans, women here for a two-year hitch with the Peace Corps teaching English. One arrived three months ago, the other will return home this summer. Dennis (Katya’s father) loaned us a hymn book with both Russian and English words. It was very helpful, although a bit tricky because the numbering of the hymns was different. Alec graciously sat away from Nadya again this week to translate. He sat in the middle of the four Americans, translating verbally to the other women and writing notes on my pad of paper for us! Songs today included “Breathe on Me”, “Take My Life and Let It Me”, “It Might be One Morn” and “Love Divine” among others. During the children’s portion everyone sang a couple of songs with them, including “Jesus Loves Me”.

The message-bearer today focused on passages in John 15, 16, and 17. He reminded us that God has called us from slavery and death to life. he paid the price for this to happen with his own blood. He doesn’t just call us from death; he calls us to be his friends. Friendship is a relationship of love. Jeus in his physical body of flesh was not able to be in all places at all times, but he sent the Spirit, the Helper who can be everywhere at the same time. God calls believers to unity as Jesus is in the Father, so we should be in Him, and in unity with God and Jesus we will have unity among believers. As we are on the same vine we are united with each other. We should love other branches as we are getting juice from the same source.

We sang “Happy Birthday” (in Russian) six times at the end of the service for the various celebrants. We visited with Katya and her father for a bit. Then we had lunch at the Lido with Sveta and Victor (who successfully and happily moved into their new apartment yesterday), Alec and Nadya, and three more friends from church, including two of the birthday people. Then we went to the mall and picked up some toys to give to Nick’s group (and ice cream). Back to the apartment for our usual “entertainments”.

On arrival to the orphanage we met up with Susan and Losha. She had been given permission to buy a talking toy cell phone for each child in his group. Losha love the one she had given him so much, she was excited to share the fun. “Alloh. Kok diLAH?” (Hello. How are you?) It was an indoor days for us, but back to the bigger landing. Nick and I spent the first hour with an animal sticker book while John and Dennis played “Paka. Privyet.” Up and down the adjacent hallway. After a snack Dennis and I played with the bubbles and moved crayons from one container to another, John and Nick “painted” with water and then ran up and down the hall. The time went by very quickly (not always the case when we are inside). They got more rambunctious near the end, so we packed up and took a circuitous, back-and-forth route to Dennis’ room before returning Nick to his group.

Sasha arrived back about 7:00 from Dnipropetrovs’k. We had chicken and vegetable stir-fry, cheese, sausage, bread and leftover tuna salad for supper (John cooked). We reviewed the plan for the next two days – now we will see how it really plays out! We have a large bag packed to take to the orphanage tomorrow morning: the clothes we won’t need, toothbrushes, baby bottles and liners, and spices (in one-pound bags) for the kitchen. Andre’ will take Sasha to the court to get the decree and have the photos reprinted in the necessary proportions. Sasha will also get details about the boys’ schedules, preferences and staff, and information about the going-away party we hope to have for each of the boys’ groups tomorrow afternoon.

This morning (CST) my nephew Ben, my first god-child, confirmed his baptismal vows in church. I would love to be with him today as he makes his statement of faith for himself, as I did with Bruce and RuthAnn thirteen years ago. We will call him a bit later, when it is mid-afternoon there. May God keep you close to Him always, Ben!

The Boys on the Weekend

Note from yesterday: John stood up and banged his head on the sand box roof at one point (sound familiar?) and Nick adjured him “as-ta-rozh-na, Papa” (be careful). He has heard us say this again and again and again . . . Somehow he seems to have a better understanding of why we say it now.

Last night I slept well and John was up – thirsty and with back pain. He was very sore this morning. After an 11:00 stroll to the French bakery (to be reasonable, recall) we went to an Abteka (pharmacy). The lady behind the counter was very pleasant and helpful. We could only pantomime what we wanted to treat, and she was able to ascertain the problem was with the muscle, not bone or joint. She handed us a tube of something, wrote down the price which we paid, and we said ‘thank you’. Between that and some ibuprofen John started to feel a lot better. I just hope eating the gel with multivitamin juice didn’t affect the efficacy – just kidding!

We ate leftover macaroni tuna salad for lunch. (Oh – two chocolate pastries and two cappuccinos at the bakery – we smiled because they knew our order, they smiled when John produced the exact payment before she calculated it.)

I worked on the sweaters and read journals (infective endocarditis and thrombocytopenia today), John watched television (in Russian) and napped. Not much new here.

Finally it was 1600 and time to go see Nick and Dennis. We picked up Dennis first, then Nick. We were inside again today, but in a smaller space at the end of a hallway because the other area was being used by a new couple meeting a baby (must be Ukrainians to have a child under the age of one year). We had stocked up on new books for the weekend. The bookstore in the orange building above our ice cream bar spot is first-rate (and so are the salespersons). Nick enjoyed the book that you “paint” using plain water that makes colors appear. Unfortunately the paint brush was nowhere to be found when we cleaned up later. Dennis is pretty tired of all of the toys – we brought everything except the balls and truck – and seemed to just be tired in general. We had a nice long cuddle while he gnawed a couple of crackers and drank water. We were in the landing just above Nick’s room. When the rest of the group returned to their room (near 6:30) we took Nick down. He was very upset and crying that we didn’t delay by taking Dennis back to his room first.

We ate at McDonalds on the way home. I have some ironing to do for tomorrow, will probably clean the bathroom, too.

The Tenth Day

I didn’t sleep so well last night. I have a spot on my right upper back that gives me some problems. I was seeing a chiropractor before we left. She gave me some exercises to do. Just like all those adult patients I don’t want to take care of because they don’t do what they know they need to do, I haven’t been doing my exercises regularly! Well, from now I will. The pain wasn’t intense, but once I was awake for other reasons, it seemed to keep me awake.

Back at the French bakery this morning, John had the chocolate-filled pastry and I tried one with a slice of pineapple.

We picked up Dennis first. The caretaker told us to wait, went to the doctor’s office and then came back to give Dennis to us. No problems, I guess. We went to Nick's room. They said “patuum” (later), so we took Dennis outside, where we saw a group of unfamiliar women. It might be that they were visiting guests and Nick’s group would be giving their program (or be on display). We stopped and chatted with Susan and Losha, then went to the back corner play area. We had a very nice visit with Dennis, spending at least 40 minutes with just the bubbles. He also likes to test limits – beginning to climb up on the rickety wooden platform again and again. He usually steps back down when told to, but the biggest problem is that he loves it when we come and lift him away!
We checked several more times for Nick, but never saw him this morning. We did see and say hello to the Italian couple and their child. Yesterday we saw a new couple indoors. They answered our “hello” in English. They are actually Swedish but came here from Spain. We saw the man again today outside with the interpreter, but he was too busy chasing a ball with the little boy.

On the way home we stopped at the Billa for supplies. Last night Susan shared with us Losha’s daily schedule which included the types of food his group receives at each meal break. They get lots of kasha (cooked cereal of variable grains) and potatoes, one meal of soup and meat. Nick’s diet is likely the same, and perhaps Dennis’, too. That is something we hope to find out when Sasha is back with us on Monday. We bought yogurt, instant (we think) hot cereal and cheese, and a new, bigger ball. We stopped for our usual hotdogs, since they are never available on the weekends, but other customers beat us to them all! John chose a slice of pizza and two rolls with potatoes inside instead. They were good.

This afternoon Nick’s group was coming outside when we arrived. We told him “hello”, and “soon”, and picked up Dennis before going back for Nick. He had a very big smile and was eager to go with us. We actually ended up in the same area as this morning. It has two benches and a sandbox (and the rickety wooden platform).
Nick played in the sandbox almost the whole time, content to have one or all of us join him in piling up the dirt into a “bolshoya” (big) mountain (John’s idea). Dennis went along with the program most of the time, although he still liked to wander out of the designated play area so we would retrieve him. When he kept putting non-edibles in his mouth John and I took turns taking him for walks. That is, until John injured his mid-back picking him up while reaching. He didn’t dropped Dennis, but he sure is in pain now and being very careful with every move.

We went to Bella Pizza for “date night”. We both had a variation of spaghetti. We were given spaghetti-specific utensils: a narrow, three-tined fork to twirl the pasta and a spoon with a large round bowl to spin it against. John also had the ante pasta (maybe post pasta, since the entrée was served first) and I had a “chief” salad (a common option on menus here).

We are able to visit the boys this weekend and could tell them we will see them tomorrow afternoon. Hurray! We are definitely hoping and praying John’s back is much better by Tuesday when we will have to at least hold onto if not carry both of the boys. At least we should have a lot less luggage by then (orphanage gifts). We talked to Sasha a couple of times. He will be here Sunday night, pick up the decree from the judge Monday morning, and help us arrange a going-away party for the afternoon (we think) before a very busy paper-chase day on Tuesday. As of this morning no one had appealed. He doesn’t know how we would be notified if someone did today since that has never happened to one of his adoptive couples before.

Oh – a “mom moment” from yesterday: ‘Hmmm, Dennis you just finished a chocolate flavored cookie, but your hands are clean. I wonder what part of my clothing isn’t now!”

Fourth Aniversary

We are just getting home from dinner at 10:40 PM, so this might be shorter than usual.

John cooked omelets for breakfast. Some of the vegetables had to be discarded, but they were still excellent with yellow peppers and onions. We also had cappuccinos and pastry at the French bakery. It is our anniversary, after all! We both had the chocolate today.

The judge is allowing us to pick up the decree at the end of the 10th day (tomorrow, Friday) instead of on the eleventh day. We thought we would be able to go to the boys’ home town and do the necessary paperwork on Saturday rather than starting on Monday and trying to do that and the paperwork in Kharkov all in time to take a train to Kyiv that night. We were getting pretty excited about the possibility of leaving for home even two days earlier than expected. Some official government offices are open until noon or 2:00 on Saturdays, and closed on Mondays.

Sasha called while we were at the bakery. The officials in the boys’ home town are refusing to process the paperwork on Saturday and they are closed on Monday. That means nothing at all happens until Tuesday. Every other adoptive couple has faced delays of at least a few days, and this doesn’t even set back our flight home, but the initial wave of disappointment was surprisingly intense. Once the surprise wore off, however, I was able to remember that this was not a surprise to God, and all things happen according to His timing. The most important thing in life is to be in the center of God’s will, and that obviously can occur as easily in Kharkov as Kyiv or Oshkosh, regardless of where I think I should be at any given time.

Both boys were available this morning. Nick had a piece of candy and brought his (whole!) banana with him. So as not to eat, walk and choke, John and Nick waited on a couch in the hallway while I went up for Dennis. Outside Nick chose our spot – where Bill, Susan and Losha often settled, but were not there today. Actually Bill had to go home, so Susan is here on her own now. At one point we took a walk around the perimeter of the complex. Nick likes to carry sticks, so Dennis does too. It was very cute to watch how where ever Nick stopped to rub his stick on the pavement, or make lines in the dirt, Dennis would follow and do the same. We only allow Dennis to walk with very thin, very flexible sticks. He protests when we trade out those for the big sturdy ones he selects for himself. We monitor Nick pretty closely with his sticks. Whenever he refuses to heed reminders to be careful and hits one of us by accident or deliberately, it’s “paKa” to the stick which is broken into small, uninteresting lengths. Sometimes Nick even hands a stick to John without being in trouble to break it up.

We saw the Italian couple again today. Yesterday John offered to take a family photo of all three, they accepted gratefully. We tried to ask when their court date was scheduled. We found they are from Italy: Verona. :)

Nick’s group was right next to us. About twenty minutes to noon he was watching them very closely and we asked if he wanted to go join them. He seemed to think it over and make sure it was really okay, then said his good-byes and went to join the organized activities the caretaker was directing. He was distracted by us, but we encouraged him to participate.

When we took Dennis up to his room Katya came to the door. We tried to ask if we could take a picture of her with Dennis, but we didn’t have the camera handy and she didn’t understand. Wouldn’t you know the woman who had prevented us from taking pictures of Nick’s program came up the stairs then, and when she understood (or perhaps understood) what we were asking, said “no”.

On our way home we stopped at the Botanical Garden Metro stop (we found out that’s what it meant last weekend with Alec and Nadya). We tried to ask a young man standing outside for guidance, but he just stared at us and didn’t say anything. Could be he was American and didn’t understand our poor Russian! Anyway, we headed for a collection of trees and found a wide shaded path that eventually led to an open area where people were sun-bathing and getting wet in a canal from what appears to be a natural spring. People were filling many large bottles of water from several fountains.

Hot dogs for lunch. John slept, I read and knit.

We visited with the boys inside this afternoon – same place as our first two-hour session. It proved to be quite a challenge, since none of the toys are new or interesting, Dennis tries to eat the soap off the wand if we bring out the bubbles, the crayons have been found to raise a satisfactory response if eaten or used on the couch, and the breakables on the walls make it too hazardous to throw the Beanie raccoon up in the air. John also spent twenty minutes trying to clean a twelve-foot line of crayon (courtesy of Nick) off the hallway wall (not completely successful, although at least two orphanage personnel sawing him trying). Fortunately they both did calm down before 6:30 and we were able to clean up and leave on very amicable terms.

We had decided that for our anniversary we would eat at a café we pass every day going to and from the Metro stop. We had just sat down when we saw Susan, so we joined her and had a great evening of food and conversation. They have had many of the same experiences as new parents/entertainers in limbo. We talked about nutrition, exercise, orthotics and other aspects of health (for us and the kids), growing up experiences (we are all PKs: we are preachers’ kids, they are both principals’ kids) and soon it was after 22:00.

Back to the routine tomorrow. We don’t know if we will be able to see the boys this weekend or not, but it looks like we will be able to go to Love and Salvation Church again on Sunday. Sasha will come Monday instead of tomorrow.

Well, now it is 2350 and John is waking up to post. Goodnight!

Lots of Time with Dennis

I was up at 7:30. John got up after I showered to check to see if Sasha in Kiev had reviewed the possible passport photos for the boys. The first round one wasn’t faced straight enough and the other had his mouth open. (No message from Sasha.) We left a little early so we could stop at the French pastry shop. John had a cherry pastry, I ad chocolate (it’s nice to be able to sound out the labels) and we both had cappuccinos, a $3 amazing breakfast. Was pastry ever more light and flaky? We agreed that to go to such a place three or four times in the course of a month was reasonable. With only a few days left, we’ll have to go every morning to be reasonable.

We went to Nick’s room first, but they indicated he was not there. We went to Dennis’ room, and again instead of walking toward us when they opened the door he got a goofy grin and leaned back so we had to catch him and pick him up. Silly boy! We stopped to chat with Susan (and Losha), Bill has left for home. We found a place to spread out the table cloth and blanket and focused on Dennis. After 30 minutes John went to find Nick – no Nick. ??? After 30 more minutes of Daddy-Dennis time, he went to look again. This time Dennis was distressed when John left. Still no Nick. In fact, we never did see him this morning, and have no idea why. John and Dennis went for several short walks, and Dennis demonstrated that he knows very well how to wave “PaKa” (bye-bye) without any help, waving back at Mama (knitting away to give them some time alone together) again and again. When we left him at his room he also waved without needing the caretaker to lift and flap his arm (first time).

Back at the Metro stop we picked up enough tokens (26) to get us through our stay in Kharkov (probably). Lunch was hot dogs again – and a banana and yogurt. Sasha had called earlier and said the apartment manager wanted to arrange for linens to be dropped off. They settled on 3:00. Sure enough, at 3:00 the young lady who was cleaning the apartment when we moved in rang the door buzzer, handed us a bag with sheets and towels, and left. John read some medical articles for me while I got Nick’s sweater sleeves started (I modified the pattern, working them from the shoulder down instead of cuff up so I can pick up the stitches from the body already completed and avoid sewing bulky seems).

This afternoon we took the video camera along to film the approach to the orphanage, the area, a visit with the kids. We were a few minutes early to Nick’s room. The kids were all seated around a large table having something to eat or drink. I indicated he should stay and finish. John filmed Nick’s locker and their daily schedule. When Nick was ready (long sleeves this afternoon) he led us to Dennis. Actually, he asked Mama to carry him, so I did and had him point out the way. Dennis was ready for us when we opened the door. We let Nick choose our afternoon location. He had us stop right at the single bench outside the main entrance. All the same toys, games, naughtiness, ‘das vadanya’s to the departing staff . . . I think Nick is getting bored with this two-hour session routine (too). At 6:15 he came over to me, turned my left wrist so I could see my watch, and indicated it was time for him to go back to his group. I made sure that’s what he really meant, “see chess?” (now?). “Da” (yes). He helped gather and stack up all the toys, shake out the blanket and table cloth, and pack up to go. When we left him with his group he turned to get his hugs and say good-bye, and proceeded to peek through the weeds and bushes to say good-bye until we were out of sight. His group-mates also offered numerous good-byes. By the time we took Dennis to his room it was actually 6:30. John filmed him walking up the send flight of stairs with that very handy low railing. He didn’t voluntarily wave this time.

Macaroni tuna salad for supper. Four more of these two-hour entertainment sessions.

Ground Hog’s Day, Again (see the movie)

The cooler weather has definitely been better for sleeping. We also don’t feel so wiped out after every morning and afternoon visit. Furthermore, for the past two days we have not needed to immediately change into our coolest, most comfortable clothing (generally pajamas) after each ‘session’.

John went out on a successful hunt for pastries this morning: strawberry today.

When we went to Nick’s room they said he was elsewhere (_____?), then pantomimed physical education, or dancing perhaps. That let Dennis try out the train toy we bought at the market Saturday before last without immediate competition. He likes to take things apart (sometimes I call him “Destructo Dennis”) so it was a great toy for him. Nick came by with his group just before 10:30. He likes the train, too, and sometimes they both want it at the same time. Of course. We decided to ask Bill and Susan to take family photos this morning, so I took a set of clothes for each, not knowing what the orphanage “uniform” would be today. Because it was comfortably cool both of the boys were clothed top and bottom, so they didn’t have to put up with wardrobe changes. We took some standing and more sitting on a bench.
Bill and Susan said they had a long day yesterday – after court they had to sign some special papers that will allow Susan to sign papers and take Losha alone after Bill is back it the States. They also took Losha to have passport photos made, an orphanage representative escorting them.

A big dog (“bolshoya sabaka”) came through the play area and settled in between us and Nick’s group. The other kids were a little freaked out at first, but the dog just stretched out and went to sleep in the shade. One of the group’s balls landed about three feet from it, and that was “no man’s land” as far as the kids and caretakers were concerned. The dog seemed obviously very gentle when he had passed through, and took no notice of the children whatever, while awake or asleep, so John was the big hero who retrieved and returned the ball! Nick often likes to use the crayons to draw with John, especially when John draws “machinas” (cars). He likes to be physically close to John during those times, often sitting on his lap.

Sasha had called to check on us, and asked if we had sent photos for passports to Sasha in Kyiv via e-mail. We had, but when John called that Sasha he hadn’t seen them yet. Before noon we went back inside to Nick’s hallway and took more pictures against the blue wall.

We stopped at home to modify and transfer pictures onto our spare compact flash, and then we headed out the Historical Museum Metro stop to have them printed at the Kodak shop. During the hour wait we had lunch at the Lido (the place next door we had thought to try was just too smoky). You know, sometimes when you really want something, you just pay the price and enjoy it. John and I spent $7 (US) on our cappuccinos at the Lido, just like at Starbucks. Except here we also had two bowls of okroshka, tomato and cucumber salad, stuffed squash, stuffed red bell pepper, and chicken with vegetables stir-fry for the $7! We found a wide-brimmed hat for me at the outer edges of the market (less than $3), a gift for someone here at an underground shop, and had ice cream cones at McDonalds before picking up the photos and heading back to the apartment, and then back to the boys. We inserted the new family pictures into the photo album in several places.

At Nick’s room he ran to get his shoes and join us. Sasha had told us the mouth needs to be closed for the passport photos, so we took more of Nick at the blue wall before getting Dennis. It took several minutes for them to get Dennis ready, and then we went back to the blue wall to try for a closed-mouth picture of Dennis. Much more easily written than done! He always opens his mouth when he looks at someone. At least this time I had John’s comb along so both boys had neat hair. 

Outside we settled on two benches close to the main entrance again. When the boys got restless we went for a walk and delivered a photo of our family to Bill, Susan and Losha that has our home address and contact information on the back. Nick insisted on carrying the photo album with him. He seems to be very proud of it, but when Susan asked him about it he became very shy. That is just so “three”!  They told us they found an express photo shop (and a French pastry shop) just down the block from our Metro shop. That will be much more convenient.

We had cookies, one banana to share and water for the afternoon. The cookies are very low sugar, and hopefully the only “treats” they get most days. We’ll cut back when we can have a regular home routine and diet. I promise! Nick liked my new hat, trying it on right away and even wearing it for a bit. Dennis thought it was a fine new toy to throw on the ground. When Nick is naughty, especially blatantly defiant, he has to sit still with Dad to the count of five and voice compliance (“KharaSHO? : “KharaSHO” or “Da”) before being turned loose. They had several of those episodes this afternoon. When Dennis couldn’t figure out what he wanted and mostly wanted to do whatever I didn’t want him to do (eat crayons, hold big sticks, throw non-throwing toys and his cup) I finally picked him up and we just walked around in a big circle until it was time to go. He was content. We took Dennis up to his room, interrupting two caretakers who were eating their own dinner. They still cheerfully exchanged him for John’s passport. Nick’s group was still outside after 6:30 and we said good-bye there.

We located the photo and pastry shops on the way home. John cooked chicken stir fry while I got started on this. Maybe we can go to bed before 2300 tonight.

Introduction to "Home"

I felt very tired when the alarm went off at 7:00, but not when I got up at 7:30. John actually slept until 8:42.

We were at the orphanage by 10:00 with fresh bottles of water for the boys from the Billa. We picked up Dennis first (I needed to use the bathroom, which is on the first floor near his room). When Katya came to the door she was trying to ask us a question but we didn’t understand. Then she went to the director and asked – we think the question was whether it was okay to take Dennis outside today, it being so much cooler than last week and he with a cold. The director answered in the affirmative, and Katya got Dennis and handed us a pullover sweatshirt, indicating we might need to use it. Dennis has this new habit of leaning backwards while the caretaker holds his arm, and then is quite delighted when we catch him and swing him up in the air. We went for Nick next. John went in the room for him. He was very happy to see us.

We hung out on a couch in a long hallway first. We showed them the new children’s board books, each featuring a different vehicle of transportation: car, train and airplane. Dennis seemed to think their greatest value was nutritional. We also showed them (Nick especially) the photographs of home and family. He was only interested for a short period of time, but returned to them again and again throughout our two visits. He seems to understand that “our” in reference to car, home, cat and dog includes Nick and Dennis. We also named everyone a couple of times today: Grandma and Grandpa, Aunt Becky, Aunt Lois, Uncle Paul, Aunt Michele, Matthew, Grandma and Grandpa, Aunt Christine, Uncle Brian, Ben, Katie, Caleb, Uncle John and Aunt Jackie. He was good at finding Mama and Papa (we are introducing the names Mom and Daddy) in every picture. In the picture of the boys’ bedroom he consistently identifies the bed for “Nick” and the bed for “Dennis” (and the dog, again). We also showed him the photographs of a train, then Kyiv, then airplane, then London, then airport, then our car and finally our home. Alec and Nadya have a good photograph from their travels of people getting onto a plane. We don’t know if Nick understands that people actually ride on them. He doesn’t seem to have a word for ‘train’ different from that for ‘car’ (machine). I suppose he will know the difference soon enough!

When the boys got restless we went outside and walked around for a while first. We met another adoptive family – from Spain. They speak English and seemed as happy as we to be able to converse. They have been here for a month already and tomorrow they head for Kyiv and then home. Hurray! They seemed to approve of us adopting two brothers. Bill and Susan were in court this morning, and we sort of camped out in their usual area. The caretakers seemed to be keeping the kids off the dirt and grass, maybe because of the moisture, so we tried to keep the boys clean, too. We brought the juice boxes today to see how the boys would handle them: Nick had no problem; Dennis had no clue! I had tried to give Dennis water in the sipper cup earlier, but that didn’t seem to work well. We put the juice in, and he figured it out when John held him in a semi-reclined position. He liked it very much – and didn’t like waiting for me to put more in. Dennis clearly enunciated the word “Da” today, the first time it seemed in response to a ‘yes-or-no’ question we asked Nick. After that it was “DaDa” or “DaDaDa”. Recall that his caretakers told us he has a few words, but we have never heard them before. Nick really liked the chocolate cookies we had today, too. Around 11:30 Nick, after throwing the toys inappropriately, and then kicking them, he abruptly began to stack and pack everything up and indicated it was time to go. Maybe he’s just used to the shorter time with us in the morning because until today he always had music practice for the first half-hour, but he also seemed sad. ???

When we took Dennis back to his room Bill and Susan were waiting outside the director’s office. Their court appointment went well. They had a different judge (a woman) and only had to answer two questions. Hurray!

Hot dogs for lunch. What can I say but that we like them?

Nick’s group was in the playroom which has glass walls to the outdoors. His group-mates saw us coming first and alerted him. He was ready to go and the teacher let him come out the side door. Dennis was also quickly ready. This afternoon we took the big camera, set it up on the outdoor steps, put new Oshkosh B’Gosh shirts on the boys and took our first family photos. We used the remote control and it worked pretty well, although we may also ask Bill and Susan to take a few later this week. We spoke briefly to the Italian couple – they also ascertained we are adopting both of the boys and said “Good!” Nick spent a lot of time on John’s shoulders – looking over the wall at children climbing a tree and at a cat that also climbed a tree and walked along the wall. Dennis let me show him the photographs from home this afternoon. I think he was recognizing and pointing at Mama and Papa. We’ve been singing the “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” song. For some reason I also sing “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” to Dennis a lot. At 6:20 we packed up per usual and began a leisurely walk back to their rooms. Nick’s group was still outside. He seemed to be content to say good-bye there and join his friends. The front door was locked. Katya was working in a garden out front, when she finished she seemed willing to take Dennis (and he was will to go to her), but we still needed John’s passport back, so we found a side door open and took him to his room. The caretakers always try to get Dennis to say “PaKa”, but he doesn’t. We don’t know if he has before, or if they are still training him. Last Friday he did lift up his hand to wave.

John cooked chicken barbecue spaghetti for supper. Yum!

(Sometimes we are too tired to transfer and add pictures when we post at night, so you may want to scroll back through the blog from time to time to see if photos have been added.)

Refreshment: Worship and Weather

Last night we found some pictures on the Internet of trains, airplanes, cities and airports to start trying to explain to the boys (Nick) what is coming next week.

Kharkov had plenty of rain, thunder and lightening overnight, but less coughing for John. I was up around 7:00, John just after my shower. It was much cooler this morning. John was able to wear one of his long-sleeve shirts and I used my jacket for the first time. The jacket was as much for the threat of further rain as for warmth. We left early enough to stop at the Kodak store and order some prints. We also had a cup of “mochaccino” out of the Nescafe dispenser in the building where the congregation meets. We were again greeted by familiar faces and made to feel welcome. Today Alec sat next to us and translated. The service began promptly at 10:10. Hymns during the service included “Softly and Tenderly Jesus is Calling”, “O for a Thousand Tongues to Sing”, “Just as I Am”, “Have Thine Own Way, Lord” and “Blessed Assurance”. Pastor Ganadi shared that his father-in-law died last Sunday. His funeral was Tuesday. After many years of many prayers, he had become a Christian just in January, and he was at peace.

Natasha, who knows just enough English to greet us enthusiastically each week, had the children’s message. First we sang “Happy Birthday” to Greesha, who is the pastor’s son and very happy to be five! He had to stand on stage and lead us in two children’s songs: “Who Created flying birds . . . the stormy sea . . . blinking stars . . . you and me: God on high” and “Teach me to Pray”. Natasha said our tasks as Christians are to get to know God and learn how to love. To love those who love us is easy, what we need to learn is how to love those who hurt us and are mean: our enemies. This is not possible on our own. It is only through the Holy Spirit who gives us the strength to live as Jesus commanded.

Victor, the pastor from Light of Salvation Church in a nearby village, was visiting with his wife today and shared a message. He said he thinks about the people who used to live 900 years, and now we live 70 or 80 years. Were those people from ancient times closer to God, or farther away? Adam and Eve were bathed, surrounded by the light of God. Satan came and when they believed the lie the light was shadowed. Sin wants to separate us from the light, to make us think only of ourselves. It is always around us but we must rule over it. He gave the examples of Jacob and Esau and Solomon. He said how ever many years we have, Jesus is enough, just ask.

Pastor Ganadi read from Matthew 10:28, 42, Luke 12:22 and verse 29, and 3 John verse 2. Clearly our flesh (physical bodies and well-being) is important to God, but even more important than our temporary flesh is our spirit/soul and we must be sure to seek God and his kingdom first.

At the end we sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to Naya (?). I had a lovely chat with Katya, giving her a photo and our address in case we do not come next week, and John had a good talk with Denis, her father. Katya said she will continue to pray for us, and when I asked she shared a special prayer concern, too. Dima, Pastor Victor’s grandson, visited with both of us. He is a first-year chemistry student at the University here in Kharkov. We also had some fellowship with Sveta and Victor. They have the happy prospect of moving into a remodeled apartment soon.

We picked up our photos while Alec and Nadya visited her grandmother nearby. They took us to see their shops and workshop. Their candy bouquets look both beautiful and appetizing! We had lunch at a cafeteria on an upper level of the large department store “РОСТ” (pronounced ‘roast’ and meaning ‘Growth’).

We stopped at a specialty candy shop that sells their bouquets on the way to their home, and at a market where Alec bought fresh strawberries. They said it is too early for strawberries in Ukraine, so these likely came from Egypt. Correction: These were really early Ukrainian strawberries! We had a tour of their lovely home. We enjoyed seeing the photographs of their travels during the past year. Then they filled a table full of food ranging from the exotic (Marmite on toast) to the exquisite: fresh strawberries with sour cream dipped in sugar. Ooh-la-la! Our time with Alec and Nadya was lovely not only for the hospitality of sharing their home and sumptuous table, but also for the edifying and pleasant conversation. It is evident that they seek God’s will in all things, from business decisions to purchasing souvenirs. We expect to see them again – perhaps at church, perhaps only next week Monday to meet the boys. Sasha called to check in just as we were getting ready to leave, everything is fine.

They took us to the Metro and we had an uneventful, but satisfying trip home using the Red line for the first time and transferring to the Green line.

Back to the boys tomorrow!

A little cooler

John was up briefly coughing a few times last night, but overall we both got a good night’s rest. We left for the market at the Historical Museum Metro stop (near Alec and Nadya’s church) at 9:15. We found good-looking $3 sunglasses for John, hats that will fit for both of the boys, another light-weight shirt for each of us, carry-all bags and a host/hostess gift. Last week while looking for John’s shorts one babushka vendor used Russian and then switched to another language we didn’t speak. We had to convince her we were Americans. Something about the dark pants we were both wearing made her think we were from Poland. This week, buying the shirts from two older women we were mistaken for Germans. We wandered through another of those multilevel, multi-vendors per department stores and found buttons for the sweaters. We went to McDonalds for beverages; unfortunately I was doing something goofy with John’s sunglasses and spilled my latte all over the table and my skirt. It wasn’t hot enough to burn, just large enough to cause a mess and a bit of embarrassment. A mom sitting at a nearby table offered us their extra napkins and then some wet wipes. She was very considerate and I thanked her. Fortunately we were done shopping at that point, so I carried the shopping bag in front of me and we took the Metro home.

I put some photo files on the extra compact flash to have copies made at the Kodak shop near the church tomorrow. I took a bunch of family photos for Bill and Susan while Losha was all dressed up for Children’s Day yesterday. We have a couple more to put in the caretakers albums and the one of home and family we will begin to show Nick and Dennis on Monday. Hurray! Somehow we will start to explain that we will be taking a train to another big city (Kyiv) and then a plane to London, and then another one to “home”.

Later we walked to ‘Andre’s’ Supermarket, stopping at the “слон” first. The word “slone” means “elephant” and the store was just like a Home Depot or Lowe’s at home. We completed the host/hostess gift and picked up a plastic table cloth to sit on with the boys when the ground is damp, maybe even if it isn’t. The main purpose of going to the supermarket was to get more of the multivitamin juice, but we found enough other items to give John a manly-man-weight bag to carry home. :) I carried the bananas.

National Children’s Day

Up at 7:30 – seems to be a good time for me. John was up coughing pretty hard several times last night. He did feel a lot better initially this morning, but then started coughing again, so took some cough medicine so he wouldn’t be hacking throughout our visit and Nick’s program.

We had been told that the program was scheduled to start at 10:00, so we left about 20 minutes early so we could be settled in beforehand. When we arrived the place was all decorated with balloons and lines with colorful bits of fabric and paper strung outside. For the past couple of weeks everyone has been working on “spiffing” the place up indoors (very thorough cleaning) and out. The outdoor light posts are newly painted a bright yellow; the trenches for the wire being run between them are now refilled. The curbs and edges of the stairways had been freshly whitewashed one morning. Unfortunately that was the day of the big rain, so most of it washed off again.

We had our fancy camera and the video camera attached to the tripod all set and searched around for the program site. The music room was dark and locked. We ran into Bill and Susan, who had been told the program now would start at “11:00, maybe later”. And so began our wait. The mission trips had prepared us well for this. We didn’t even question that delay, nor the next one (12:00). We wondered if they were waiting for the arrival of special guests. We ran into Nick’s group being walked around the buildings. It seemed to be a time-filler that kept them from getting too restless or dirty. We walked with them for a bit, admiring all the new large toys in each of the play areas. Very generous sponsors have blessed this orphanage today. Must have been hard for the kids to see everything and not be allowed to play with them yet. We sent Nick on with his group, although he spotted us a couple more times yet in the morning. We were trying not to distract him. The girls all had their hair fixed up in a variety of cute ‘dos’.

We went up to Dennis’ room, too. They seemed willing to send him with us, but we explained that Nick would be in the music program, and asked about Dennis. They indicated ‘no’, but he would be coming outside. We indicated he should stay with his group. During our extended wait we visited him outside with his group a few times, just standing on the pavement in the shade. The four were all dressed up in nifty new matching outfits and new hats. We saw other groups with new hats, too. When John approached Dennis he backed up against a bush and then leaned backwards – seemingly expecting John to catch him, but John’s second hand was full of video camera equipment and he couldn’t move quickly enough. Dennis leaned right back onto the ground! Fortunately the dirt all brushed off easily and e was unharmed. When he did it again the next time we came by we caught on and caught him in time.


At 11:50 we were invited by gesture to go up to the music room. We were the first ones present, and John arranged the tripod, I held the big camera at the ready. Then a woman who has some authority here asked us to “Please, go to ___(?)”. We didn’t know where we were supposed to go, but thought maybe the program started elsewhere. We went up and down stairs, looked around indoors and out – no clues. Then we went back to the woman near the music room and ascertained that she wanted us to check with the director about the cameras. We dutifully went to the director, held up the video questioningly, and she said “nyet” regretfully. We also held up the camera: another seemingly reluctant “nyet”. We were both very disappointed and wondered why. Nonetheless, we returned to our seats in the back corner, put away the cameras and waited.

At 12:15 in walked a number of uniformed officials, seemingly of high rank. That likely explained the prohibition of cameras. A man with a very serious video camera set up his equipment, and did film the entire event from a variety of positions in the room. Once the guests were all settled the children came in to music, all fully dressed and looking very nice. Wish we could show you a video or photos, but . . . Anyway, they sang several songs with props and movement, one woman come in dressed in a bright yellow dress and floral head dress obviously representing the sun. They also portrayed the Cinderella story, complete with two of the girls fighting over the dropped shoe. Our Nick was the sweet prince, dropping to one knee before the very pretty princess.

When the children finished (in about 30 minutes) they left. The director offered effusive words of gratitude for the generosity of the sponsors. Another woman in white clothing, possibly a regional director, said a few words, as did a younger professional-looking woman (professor at the university, according to the orphanage representative sitting next to me), and another young woman who seemed also to be a sponsor. Finally the most official-looking of the guests was prevailed upon to speak, and finally they all retired (we think) to refreshments in another room. We departed for home, stopping at the Billa for ice cream bars and colored underwear for Nick. Quite a comprehensive grocery store. 

Hot dogs with mustard again for lunch – too tired for anything else.

We were back at the orphanage at 4:30, riding the Metro with Bill and Susan. They had hoped to have their court date today, but the necessary papers weren’t ready in time to get here from Kyiv. They are on the docket for 9:30 Monday.

We decided to get Nick first, since he is always anticipating, and Dennis is always sleepy and dazed after his afternoon nap (we think). Nick ran for his shoes, the caregiver grabbed his hat and pulled it down on his head (it’s a bit small). Then Nick led us to Dennis’ room. They took my passport (per usual) and shortly thereafter brought out Dennis. No new duds for this afternoon and none expected.

We went to the stairway where we had tried on their clothes. The big group of kids that sometimes settles there came by. We started to pack up and indicated we were willing to relocate, but they waved us off and told us to stay. John and Nick kicked the ball around for quite awhile – Nick isn’t usually interested in that activity, but being able to bounce it off the wall seemed to help. He seemed tired this afternoon, wanting to be carried a lot. He may not have gotten as much of a rest as usual today. Dennis put the crayons through the crayon box for a while (the bottom won’t stay closed any more), then seemed bored with the toys and more interested in getting into trouble. We all went for a walk, up and down the sidewalks on two sides of the building. John had a new Daddy experience today. If he didn’t feel completely like a father after wiping Nick’s nose last week, he certainly does after cleaning up the other end multiple times in a short period today. Enough said.

At 6:30 we took Nick to his group. Dennis’ group was still outside. We walked around with Dennis’ head on my shoulder until 6:40, and then I sat down on the bench with his caretakers. The other Dennis took a good tumble, and they decided to go in. We walked with them, Dennis held first by John, then by me. He was content until the other four started climbing up the stairs, holding on to that low railing. He squirmed to get down and powered his way right up, slowed down only by the less-quick progress of the other Dennis. He seemed very proud. We said a reluctant good-bye until Monday.

We shopped in the department store at the Metro station close to the orphanage for the first time. John found some dark shorts he can use for swimming and walking. Upstairs was a furniture store that also had a limited amount of bedding. When we rented the apartment we were told that cleaning every ten days was included. I had hoped that would include a change of linens, since we have found no extras. However, we have not seen any cleaning or linens yet, and the sheets won’t dry within a day if we wash them. A very nice, patient and persevering clerk helped us get a fitted sheet and pillow cases set for a full-sized bed (right size and no quilt cover, which most sets included). They also had two children’s clothing stores upstairs, but no hats in the right size, which is all we really need at his point. (By the way Nick was wearing white underwear this afternoon.)

We had promised ourselves Bella Pizza for supper tonight. John had the ante pasta and small ‘Bomb’ again; I had a Salad Cesar and small Four Seasons (2 slices each of salami, mushroom, Canadian bacon and squid). We finished off three bottles of water (without gas) and shared a dessert of ice cream with fruits. We hope to get together with friends this weekend and perhaps find hats, maybe one for me.

Enjoy your weekend; we will endeavor to do the same!