Laundry's Not Done - But Just Had to Post

No time for daily blogs anymore, but I would like to let you know we are not just surviving, but thriving. Maybe just trying to update in “categories” will work.

Sleep – Bedtime was definitely our biggest hurdle with Nick and Dennis. Initially Dennis woke up one to three times per night and needed help getting back to sleep, usually not a lengthy prospect. Nick would get up five to six times per night, flip on the light in the hallway and start screaming. It was a literal fight to get him back into bed. I do remember one night holding his rigid little body, trying to rock and relax him back to sleep thinking, “One day all too soon you will be twelve years old, going to bed all by yourself and feeling much too big to be held and rocked, and this will be only a sleepy, foggy memory.” I was scouring our parenting and adoption books back then for any reference to bedtime strategies, desperate to find “the” secret solution to our exhausting problem. I was less than encouraged when I read one parent’s account of bedtime problems, the strategy they used, and how she suddenly realized, six months later, how well bedtime was now going. SIX MONTHS LATER! Well, that’s pretty much how it worked for us, too. One day, about six months later, we discovered that they (and therefore we) were sleeping through more nights than not. They are still pretty naughty at bedtime for babysitters and grandparents.

Daniel? We were told at the orphanage that he went to bed after 7 PM supper and slept through until 7 AM, then napped from 12:30 to 3:30 or 4 PM every afternoon. He switched time zones like it didn’t even happen, but he does not sleep as many hours as he might have then. I get all my guys up at 6:30. The first few days Daniel woke up before 6:00, but now I wake him. He is very difficult to get down for nap. Emotionally, our adoption experts tell us, adoptees are like newborns and we must rapidly meet every need to prove we are trustworthy and that they are safe. I wouldn’t disagree with this, and Daniel ensures our rapid response by pulling on his face and leaving gouges down his nose and cheek if he gets very upset. We do let him work through his temper tantrums, we just have to be nearby to hold that very capable left hand. Once asleep, almost always with one of us at his side, he sleeps one-and-a-half to two hours. We let him sleep four hours one afternoon. He wasn’t tired at 7:30 bedtime, or 8:00, or 8:30, or 9:00, or 9:30, or 10:00. Finally at 10:20 he conked out. Now I cut him off after two hours or 3 PM, whichever comes first. He doesn’t fight bedtime as much, be we find ourselves in with him most nights until he is at least nearly asleep. Then he almost always sleeps through till morning. The first few nights (and last night) he did wake up twice, usually because he had fallen or crawled (?) out of bed. I tuck him in reallll good now! Sleep is such a good thing. I learned this back in the early Nick and Dennis days and am just thrilled to already be enjoying it with Daniel.

Food – Nick and Dennis had no problems at all in this arena. Dennis had Daniel’s same odd habit of drinking with his tongue underneath or inside the cup, but quickly grew out of it. Daniel is still awkward, but that is likely the cerebral palsy and we are eager to work with a speech pathologist. Nick and Dennis ate pretty much anything we put in front of them. Our main problem was realizing that they didn’t know when to stop. They had never had to self-regulate before since the orphanage only had just enough food for each child. We think Dennis went to bed with many tummy-aches as a consequence. He also jumped from a normal Body Mass Index to an “overweight” status in six months. He’s okay again now.

Daniel is another story. We ate oatmeal every morning (except Saturdays) for nine months straight because it was what the boys’ were used to and John didn’t mind. Daniel won’t eat it, at least not the stuff we have right now, and I admit the large “flakes” are a little too slimy for me, too. He doesn’t seem to like any soup we have served since coming home, and for the rest of us this is the lunchtime staple. He likes bread. He likes bananas. He likes cookies. He likes some crackers. The rest is a guessing game. Last week he learned to say “Pizza, please”, but when we had our weekend treat yesterday he wouldn’t even let it near his mouth. The pomegranate fruit bars he ate every time I offered last week landed in his car seat without a missing nibble today. He did eat his bratwurst tonight after John removed the casing and broke it up, but we haven’t found any protein source he will eat consistently. He does seem to like the vanilla-flavored Nutripals and Pediasure, but I was very disappointed to see they have no more protein than milk. John gave me a running tally on his “likes” tonight during supper: cauliflower; sweet potatoes, the brat as mentioned; broccoli not so much. Later we discovered he has mastered the trick of secretly feeding unwanted food to the puppy under the table. Sure look forward to getting the puppy! That has moved up on the list of priorities.

Siblings – I keep waiting for the jealousy and resentment to surface, but so far we haven’t seen it. True, Nick and Dennis would like to have our immediate attention during after-potty-chair-clean-up, rescuing-Daniel-from-the-lamp’s-electrical-cord or attaching-the-bib-to-the-boy-waving-his-milk-cup-around, but I have heard no suggestions that maybe it is time to return him after the trial period. Dennis particularly adores him and insisted I call him “Daniel”, too, the first few days home. I assured him I would miss my Dennis too much if I only had Nick and two Daniels. I am glad he is back to his own name. He wants to share everything with Daniel, and gets his feelings very hurt when Daniel doesn’t want whatever is offered (and jammed in his face). For some reason he really does NOT like stuffed animals and neither of the other two can comprehend nor accept this. He does, however, love, love, love bananas. We were headed up to Appleton and I brought half of a banana along for Dennis. Daniel loudly proclaimed his desire for the same. I told Dennis that the banana was his, and he could eat all of it, but if he wanted to he could share one bite with Daniel who would really enjoy it. Dennis promptly handed over half, and then saved another bite to share when he finished that. This from the boy who would share a mere crumb, just to copy his older brother who is a very generous giver. There has been plenty of emotionalism to go around, so I know we are all in the transitional phase.

And that will do for now. John is back to work full time, and I am working my three days per week. Wish I could get home earlier on the work days (never leave the office before six), but it is still a good balance for us. Blessings to all. JJNDD

All My Guys

Grandma and Grandpa Thur Visit

Sir Daniel Astride His Giraffe

First Trip to the Park

Haircuts and More

First Family Photo

Home safe, with luggage

Had a great time in church with the Engebrechts, "Welcome Daniel" green cake frosting smeared over Daniel's face after lunch, supper with all the grandparents in Beaver Dam, and Daniel fell asleep on the way home - didn't wake up as of right now.

Might find time to post again, hope so, but for any one who followed our travels last time you know I can't make that promise!

Good night!

28-hour Travel Day

Woke up not feeling rested but afraid to miss the alarm clock at 2:00. First look at the clock seemed to show 2:55. Oh no! and where is Oleksandr? Second look showed 12:55, so I still had an hour to rest. At 2:00 John quickly showered. After I dressed decided I needed to wash my hair or I would hate it all day, but just leaned over the tub and used the hand held shower head.. Oleksandr arrived 5 minutes early (2:25) and had to sit for those few minutes while we threw the last few things together and I put sleeping Daniel’s vest, coat and shoes on. Not too much traffic on the way to the airport, but more than I expected. We arrived just after 3 AM and Daniel woke up in the airport. We had to wait more than an hour before they started checking in for our flight. It gave us some last visiting time with Oleksandr. Daniel was restless and I walked around a lot. Just before we parted I saw Oleksandr crouch down to bless Daniel. I was very touched.
Checking in: we were toward the back of our line, so that took awhile but once we got up there the Lufthansa rep assured us I could go sit down with Daniel (who had again tired of his stroller). Our baggage was likely overweight, and they likely overlooked it. She noted the stroller and volunteered the tag for plane-side check. Curiously, they gave John and Daniel seats ten rows apart on the flight from O’Hare to Moline (Quad Cities) and were unable to give a boarding pass to me.
We had no problems going through security, everyone was patient with our three carry-on pieces, the two computers and folding up the stroller. The lady officer on the far side was especially friendly to Daniel. Passage through passport control also went smoothly. We had time for coffee and a banana and trips to the bathroom before boarding. Everyone queued up at the same time and we were toward the back, but suddenly the airline person who had checked us in was at our side leading us through the crowd right on to the plane.
Just inside the doors the flight attendants immediately found a soft book with crinkly covers in their children’s gift tray and another attendant, as we sat down, offered us two pillows to help Daniel sit up. Very thoughtful. In fact, all along the way our encounters with Lufthansa were so excellent John thought maybe our tickets had been coded to give us extra helpful attention because of the ticket fiasco(our higher-priced changeable tickets weren’t nearly changeable enough to get me home a week later without paying an additional $1000 plus the expected $250 fee, or John to Quad cities instead of Appleton). Daniel reached for a newspaper on our way in, John grabbed a couple others, and they exchanged reading material multiple times before Daniel fell asleep against John’s arm.
He stayed asleep for about an hour. I’ll just write now that for the next 24 hours pretty much all Daniel ate was the dark, dense bread we brought with us and bananas we picked up along the way. He did drink one full juice box from his cup, and otherwise water. We certainly offered him many other foods. And as far as his behavior: he was such a good little trooper. All told he had maybe four crying fits, half for having to wear the seat belt, and none lasted more than 10 minutes - usually solved by John taking a walk with him, or by feeding him another banana.
In Frankfurt, passport control was at the top of the stairs to leave the plane. Everyone else had to stop but they waved us by. Inside it was again pleasant not to have cigarette smoke permeating the entire complex. Transparent smoking ‘boxes’, each sponsored by a different cigarette company were located in various places. I did feel bad for the worker cleaning the inside of the doors, though.
We went through security only once in Germany (we are used to twice there). They spent a long time looking at Daniel’s passport, didn’t seem to even glance at our others. Daniel and I always went through first. I triggered something and had to let one woman hold Daniel until John came through while another did a more thorough check of me and sent my boots through the x-ray machine (they always said “no” when I offered to take them off in advance). But everyone was pleasant and we were never rushed, so no big deal. Another round of coffee and banana, but Euro pricing this time.
We were able to board in the first group because of traveling with a small child. I asked for an extra pillow for Daniel as we walked back and received it quickly. The plane over the Atlantic had 2 - 4 - 2 seating in the economy section. We were in the middle section, of course and the fourth person in our row was a gentleman headed for the auto show in Chicago, arriving Saturday night and returning Monday night. We really didn’t talk much until the end of the flight but early on I did explain that we had just adopted Daniel, and this was only his second flight, that he didn’t understand much English but we would try to keep him happy (and quiet). The man didn’t seem apprehensive at all. Our seats each had a video screen with on-demand movies or certain television episodes. Daniel fell asleep before long (right on time for the orphanage afternoon nap) and slept in my arms for nearly four hours. John watched “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” and “New Moon”, both for the first time. I watched “Where the Wild Things Are” for the first time, and started “New Moon” for the second time. It was very convenient to be able to start, pause and rewind as needed once Daniel woke up. They served lunch just after he fell asleep. We held his for a long time, but finally gave it back, except for the “sweet”, which was frosting in a small cone (he devoured it). Prior to landing they had a hot snack , we chose the sausage in a pretzel. They didn't have a child's option, so we went with the same for him and assured them it was no problem. He liked it well enough. The attendants, however, seemed to feel very badly about not having what we had requested when purchasing the tickets, so they scrounged up some baby food that they themselves found quite tasty and filling, as well as a banana I wouldn't be surprised came from one of their own lunches. That, of course, he devoured.
We arrived on time in Chicago. We had booked the flight to Moline for 5:11 and fantasized about catching the flight nearly three hours earlier. “Hello, Brian, Christine? Yeah, we didn’t make our 5:11 flight out of Chicago. We are already in Moline!” It was quite the fantasy.
Passport control first, they always ask where you came from and why you were there. I was so excited and could hardly wait to say “adoption”. The woman congratulated us and initially mistook Daniel for a girl (note: haircut Monday, perhaps Saturday night). She put our information, including the packet from the Embassy which we were strictly instructed should not be opened by anyone except Immigration in Chicago, our customs form and Daniel’s passport into a pink folder with directions to pick up our luggage, and then turn in the folder at Immigration - DO NOT forget and take packet home with you! John entrusted me with the folder and said I only had two things to watch - the folder and Daniel. He took care of finding the luggage, loading the cart, etc. Last time in the Immigration roped-off area they had us take a seat and the process took about an hour. This time (once we tracked down Daniel’s passport, which I had DROPPED) we stood up at the desk and finished in about five minutes. It was great when he assured us we were all done (meaning Daniel is now a US citizen as well as a Ukrainian citizen) but almost anticlimactic. Our luggage was all x-rayed (did not make us take Daniel out of the stroller). We headed over to the United recheck luggage area. The handlers over to one side asked if we were headed for Moline and put our bags right on the belt - no long line to stand in. We probably could have taken care of my boarding pass there, but even after saying we still needed a boarding pass the handler gave us directions up to the terminal for the flight and we headed off, still hoping to catch the earlier flight. We did try to go to the gait, but you can’t go through security without a boarding pass and United no longer mans its counters in Terminal 2 (where we had been told to go). Over to Terminal 1 and a line that didn’t look toooooo bad. Looks can be deceiving as we all know.
We saw that the earlier flight had been cancelled. We stood in the “not so long” line for well over an hour. We tried to use the self-check machines, and learned that our flight had been cancelled as well, and we could only be put on stand-by for the later, 8:20 flight. It was 2:00 when we started this. Crazy to wait 6 hours for a 3-hour drive. We called the Engebrechts as well as the Behmlanders (in Cedar Rapids), and in the end booked a 5 PM flight to Cedar Rapids, IA. After clearing security once last time it was Starbucks for this round of coffee and banana. For some reason, after I changed a dirty diaper, Daddy became the preferred parent for the rest of the trip. Around midnight Ukraine time, Daniel fell asleep in John’s arms as they walked. First time any of the three boys fell asleep while John held, so it was an especially enjoyed moment. The flight was progressively delayed to 7:20 and we were completely exhausted, but we finally got out of Chicago.
Daniel stayed asleep in my arms, the attendants never even suggested he should be in a seat by himself.
Becky (John’s sister), Chris and Regina Behmlander were waiting eagerly with camera and video poised. They even had “Congratulations” and “It’s a Boy” banners up on the wall. Becky and Regina each got a turn holding our sweet, sleeping newest son. As arranged, Chris and Regina drove us to the Engebrechts - after filling out forms for our missing baggage. They had found an appropriate car seat for our little guy. He woke up in the van, and I thought he hated the car seat, but it was really the dark that freaked him out. Once Chris turned on a light to find his water, he passed out again and we had a great visit for the next hour.

At the Engebrechts a large, hand-made banner was hung across the porch railing and the door was immediately for us. “Hellos” to them, “good-byes” to the Behmlanders, a new diaper for Daniel, hugs and kisses as promised for Nick and Dennis, and we went to bed!!! Daniel woke and screamed, and turning on the light worked like magic again. John was up once at 4:17 and Daniel woke briefly then, but otherwise we had a great night of sleeping.

Visa

Daniel slept again!!! A whole lot of y’all out there must be praying about it, because I never expected it to go so well! He did wake up briefly when I went to bed and moved the pillow that was up against his face, but that was it. He does shift his position rather often and I think I was aware of every time, which is one reason I’m glad John and I agreed prior to any children we wouldn’t we “co-sleeping”. I would never get enough true rest. Right now we need to so that Daniel won’t fall out of bed, and because we do want to be immediately available to reassure him during this tremendous transition, but we are planning to change this at home (quickly). The braces for sleeping they gave us do keep his ankles flexed at 90 degrees and keep his knees straight, but they did not give us the molded plastic John photographed (on party day) that would keep his feet wide apart and therefore the hips in the sockets. Since his leg slipped halfway out in the middle of the night, I took them off toward morning so he could sleep/turn more easily. Daniel woke up first, but didn’t insist we get up, so we all dozed in bed until 7:05.

We ate instant oatmeal and yogurt for breakfast. John and I also had peanut butter on bread. We had water therapy number three before Vitaly, Lyra and Ivanka (forgive the spellings tonight, please!) arrived for brunch. We ate at the Chocolate Café (never did take my picture of the sign). For some reason Daniel became very sad there and just cuddled against my shoulder for a long time. After a while I thought maybe he needed some help to get out of the funk, so I lifted him up in the air twenty times (we counted) and he finally consented to eat the bananas in his blini (he wouldn’t touch the blini dough, though).


Oleksandr called and joined us because he needs copies of some documents to make translations. We all went back to the apartment and I actually managed to serve “tea”. I had to pull my herbal teas out of the suitcase I thought was completely packed to put in Oleksandr’s car, but we had enough cookies and crackers around to fill a medium-sized plate. My tea selection has greatly diminished but seemed to be adequate. Daniel contently sat propped in the corner of the kitchen couch looking over the Bible study book we were giving to Vitaly for his English-speaking Bible class and chowing down the small square wafer cookies. Ivanka took a particular shine to the Gerber Graduate fruit twists, which was great since after eating one Daniel wanted nothing to do with them.

The men had a bit of a doctrinal debate before it was time for us to go to the Embassy for our appointment at 2:00. This time we emptied our pockets in advance (they are extremely restrictive in what is allowed inside), but I did venture to bring two cookies in a bag, Daniel’s empty drinking cup, and John’s smaller comb (can’t find the purple one anywhere). They let me keep them all. Hurray! They told us yesterday the appointment would take about thirty minutes, so an hour and ten minutes later we emerged, passport in hand. The extra time did give us a chance to hear the adventures of the only other parent (from Kentucky) and his 11-year-old newly adopted daughter. As I recall, he and his wife now have five children which include an adopted son and now two adopted daughters from Ukraine. Daniel had fallen asleep on our way to the Embassy, but I needed every item in my ‘arsenal’ before we were done.

On the drive back ‘home’ we called Nick and Dennis on the cell phone. Had a nice visit with Nick and then Dennis - who really only wanted to talk to Daniel - and talk and talk and talk and talk. Daniel really listened to, with the phone right next to his ear. He protested every time I moved the phone away, and Dennis began to cry hard when I said it was time to say good-bye. I tried to calm and reassure him that we would be home tomorrow (and he could talk to Daniel in person as much as he wanted), but Christine wasn’t having much more success on her side, either. John and I both just long to sit and hold each of them for hours and hours and hours when we get home. It has been a very long time to be away.

We had a snack at the apartment at 4 PM and let him crawl around on the floor (with extra layers of clothes) while we packed and waited for the bath to refill. He has enjoyed the freedom to move around the apartment at will immensely, and has closed the kitchen and bedroom doors repeatedly. Not sure why that is such a fascination. We have to make sure someone is always on the same side with him, because he can’t reopen the door and stays right next to it while he calls for attention to help (and we would bang him on the head opening from the other side). ‘Water therapy’ session four was another huge success. I don’t think he ever would have come out by his on volition, so there was much weeping and wailing when it was over and I was redressing him.

We talked to some family on Skype, and Daniel spotted John’s “Magic Mouse” (for the computer) and immediately claimed it as a phone. Since today’s conversation with Dennis was his first time with a phone I was impressed. He actually seemed to pay attention to the conversation over the computer with it pressed to his ear.
After his hair dried we head over to the Metrograd underground mall in search of luggage tags. We didn’t bring enough somehow. None of the stores with luggage had tags sold separately, although at the first place we check one lady spoke enough English to understand what we wanted, and with some consideration she and the other clerk were able to come up with the Russian words to aid our further search. In the end we bought a bright notepad, packing tape and a package of rubber bands, paying about $4 for the four tags we improvised (could have made many more).
After that it was supper in the food court. Daniel tried one bite of several things, but that was about it. It was even common Ukrainian food, but not to his taste or temperature I guess.
We saved room for some marvelous ice cream (gelatto, I think), which cost as much as the rest of our meal. Daniel wanted to try that, too, but the first bite of two flavors brought a very unpleasant look to his face and we think it was too cold. John started letting him eat his waffle dish, and that was better accepted. Eventually he took his tiny shovel and wiped it through melted ice cream and licked that.
When we got back home I gave him a couple of pieces of the dense brown bread he loves to get at least something in to him. Daniel may sleep well, but Nick and Dennis definitely gave us no challenges for eating.
I had him sit on the toilet before bedtime. We haven’t been able to follow the rigorous toileting schedule from the orphanage (10 - 15 minutes before and after five meals daily - we can’t even get the five meals in!), but today he did poop and later pee on the toilet! We were both very, very excited for him (and he got a tiny piece of Mom’s chocolate each time).
He had been pretty sleepy riding in the stroller at the mall, but once he was in bed he really didn’t think he wanted to sleep. John told him ‘good night’ and I laid down with him. He cried hard for five minutes or so, then less and then went to sleep. I wonder if something about bedtime triggers more memories, more sense of loss, than the other times of the day.
Once he is out, he is out completely. He fell asleep on top of me, but I was able to lay him on the bed and leave the room even while I could easily hear John talking to Anya on the phone. We had a nice chat and I got to work on the blog. I was startled to find we had only taken four photos yesterday - all for his doctor appointment. We made up for it today.
Since we will be getting up in three and a half hours for the plane, I will quickly post and make corrections some other time. (Therefore photos will just be in bunches for now). We will be traveling for about 24 hours tomorrow, weird when we leave here at 5:30 AM and arrived in the Quad Cities at 6 PM.

Kyiv - Doctor and Embassy

I can hardly believe that was all just yesterday. I also can’t believe how much sleep/rest we all got last night. Daniel fell asleep lying on my chest. Dennis and Nick were never able to do that. After two hours I woke and needed to change position so I put him on the narrow bed next to me and he really never woke up all night. I would shift, or he would shift several times each through the night so I had many times of sleep arousal/awareness, but got some good rest. I was very glad for the way Sergei and John and lodged the two big suitcases under the table up by our heads. They provided a very sturdy support for my back or side in the small space. I never had to worry about either of us falling on the floor.

John and I were awake around 6 (I think) {John told me later he was already awake by 5) and Daniel shortly thereafter. Was able to use the bathroom just after it was cleaned. A clean train bathroom in the morning: definitely the best perk of first class! John purchased a bottle of water and arranged for our morning tea. Daniel ate a whole banana and some water. John made peanut butter bread for us (and we ate the complimentary chocolate wafer candy bars). Oleksandr called to say he was running a little late, so we let all the other passengers disembark first and John moved our stuff off in stages. I was in charge of Daniel. A kind gentleman helped us get one of the heavy suitcases up the longer two flights of stairs and Oleksandr met us there. We only had to fend off one persistent taxi driver in those few minutes.

The car was well-loaded with the addition of the stroller and boy. Off to the hotel first. Oleksandr had arranged for a room with a bathtub and away from the smoke. Wow - did he make arrangements! The “room” has two entirely separate bedrooms, a complete kitchen and a huge bathroom with a 5’-5’ Jacuzzi bathtub. Not only that, he had bargained the usual price down by more than a third! You could never, ever get this beautiful and extensive a place for the price at home. Did I mention it is on the first floor, too - no stairs at all?

We only dropped off one load of luggage and headed for the medical exam.
Thirty minutes later we had the necessary documents and were headed for the Embassy. By 9:30 we were done there, too, and had an appointment for tomorrow for 2 PM. We will be going home all together on Saturday!!! As of 1:30 PM yesterday, we really didn’t see that happening. So there was God giving us a small ‘no’ in return for a much bigger ‘yes’, but having us ask Him for it all the way the past couple of days, not because He wasn’t already standing with open arms to give it, but so we would know from whom the gift came.

We unloaded the rest of the luggage and had ‘second breakfast’ according to Daniel’s schedule at the cafeteria on the corner. Daniel didn’t eat much. We had a boiled egg (hard habit to break, I guess), and shared the cottage cheese ‘pancakes’ (someday I will remember the name) and poppy seed-filled blini. Yum!

When we got back to our rooms, we were so tired we decided to move the nap time up an hour or so. I put the sleeping braces on Daniel and didn’t yield this time. It still didn’t take long with head-stroking and hummed ‘Fur Elise’ for Daniel to conk out again. We all slept more than two hours. Then it was time for the first ‘swim’. Unfortunately it took a very long time to fill - more than an hour - so John and Daniel were just finally getting into the tub when I called Nick and Dennis. We had a short but good conversation and accepted Christine’s offer to pick up some diapers for us. We also asked her to look for lightweight potty chair (for travel) per the orphanage doctor’s specifications. Did I remind Christine no music on sitting?

I made Daniel wear the leg braces when I dressed him. He was not happy, but eventually could be distracted. Back to the cafeteria for afternoon borsch. Daniel ate a little soup, handling the huge spoon better without my help than with. He devoured the bread, so John went to get more. We had the stroller and went down to the underground mall for some relaxed browsing. We were able to find a CD with the Beethoven pieces. Really glad I learned the Cyrillic alphabet! John bought Daniel another Ukrainian board book - with which he became utterly bored as soon as it was actually purchased. At the children’s store where we had purchased his ball we decided to make use of their play are. We learned it costs about $3 for 30 minutes. They would actually supervise him for us, but we were just looking for a nice place (not the apartment floor/hallway) for him to move around and have some fun. John stayed with him while I found a different kind of sipper cup (under constant and close supervision by a clerk) and another pair of leggings to go under the braces (a different clerk, but just as close and attentive, and good enough English to be very helpful deciphering their sizing numbers). I hit John up for the cash and then joined them for the last 15 minutes. It was well worth the $3 just for the very small children’s slide we let him free-slide down again and again and again.

We wandered around some more, then went over to the underground grocery store for water, kasha (oatmeal) and yogurt. I waited outside the doors with Daniel and the stroller. John came out with kasha, yogurt, cheese and kefir. Had to go back in for the water. We had considered delaying dinner until 8 for a better chance at sleep and moving toward the home time zone, but Daniel was looking pretty tired. We opted for food in the apartment instead of the Chocolate Café, and while I Skyped with Katya back in Kharkov John rewarmed the “swimming pool”. John and I both stayed on the outside this time and he again loved it. The towels weren’t as warm, and my massage not as good as back at the orphanage, but I would consider our ‘water therapy’ venture a success again.

Pajamas, night braces, and he and John went to bed. He was distressed for a while. Wasn’t sure if it was because I wasn’t next to him, because he wasn’t as tired as we thought, because he was homesick. John moved his legs around and he quieted, so maybe it was the braces. I finally removed my contact lenses, flossed and brushed and decided to got to bed, too. Nice idea, but once Daniel was sound asleep - nearly there before I came - I found out I wasn’t so sleepy. John pulled up the Internet and Skype on my computer so I could make a doctor’s appointment for Monday morning (see y’all at 8:15!), and started working on this. Anya called to check in with us, too. So good to be in touch with her so much this visit. She even promised one more call tomorrow evening.

Okay, I think I will sleep now, and I definitely want to be under warm blankets. This will not be proof-read ( I read it aloud to John, usually, before posting) so be forgiving of mistakes, please. Hope to post pictures, too.

LHM devotion of the day: "Unsurprised"
"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

Rest of Gotcha Day

We couldn’t move forward with the visa until we found out about the registry, but we did suddenly have time to take care of a bank account for Daniel, which was held at a nearby branch.
We finally reached the passport office in his hometown. He was registered to an address there, but the passport director said he didn’t have authority to remove someone - it was only done by a committee which only meets once a month. The next meeting would be March 30th. We tried many times to reach the Kharkov passport person again(who had given Sergei her number) but apparently now she was unavailable for lunch or something. When she did call back she said since we have the court decree and we are indeed his parents he would be able to do it. She called him, then us and said he would be waiting for us. So it was back to Daniel’s hometown for the third time in two days. By now it was 3 PM. It would take an hour to travel each way and then whatever time was required at the passport office. Would the Director of the orphanage and the Inspector still be available when we got back?

Back in the hometown Sergei had to get directions to the passport office. It shares a building with the Militia (police) so of course we went in the wrong entrance first. When we walked in just before 4:00 it appeared to John and I that the director was just locking up to leave, but it could be he was jut re-entering his office. He spoke with Sergei for 35 minutes before Sergei came out on his phone. He went back in and about 10 minutes later had us join him. They were drawing up documents to indicate that John and I, as his legal parents, were requesting that he be removed from this registry. Once that was finished we hustled back to the car. Sergei paced outside while begging the director and Inspector to wait. They finally did. And the passport official, now that Daniel was officially removed from “THE REGISTRY” would complete the visa and made arrangements for us to pick it up after usual hours.

Back to Kharkov. Throughout this day I was knitting away, completing striped wool hats for the kids in Daniel’s room. I had modified a free pattern from a yarn company (drastically). My goal was to complete five, I was on the fourth to begin the day and all this driving made that goal easy to achieve. I even started a sixth. On our way out of town we needed to stop for gas. Sergei had made certain yesterday already that he had enough gas to get through this arduous day, but had been able to predict this additional long jaunt. John ran inside to grab some kind of food/snacks/caffeine, but the line was too long. We did have the Cokes and Snicker’s bars John had purchased for the occasion, and my FiberOne bars. Sergei kept looking at the clock, the road (his radar detector) and asking us just how late we had been for Nick and Dennis (late, but not quite this late).

It was nearly 6 PM when we picked up the Inspector from her office, then scooted back across town to the orphanage. The director got right down to business. She had all of the necessary paperwork prepared and we were able to sign things quickly. She even forewent the umpteenth re-reading of Daniel’s background and medical history. And suddenly it was time to get him dressed to go!!! He had already been fed so we wouldn’t have to worry about him being hungry. Daniel’s favorite Natalya was the only caregiver in the room. She had just given him a “coming-out” bath and I handed over his bag of clothes. I could tell she wanted to dress him this last time. I even recorded it on video. She handed over the leg braces and made it clear which ones were for sleeping and which for “play”. The other little ones were all interested and had escaped the play area to investigate. We gave her the last two balls we weren’t going to pack, half of the new package of diapers we had just purchased, the hats and all the remaining colorful wool yarn. I had Sergei ask if perhaps someone knits and could use it. Natalya does!

As she handed him over there is no doubt she was telling him a different ‘good-bye’ than she would at the end of a routine shift, because he began to cry in a way we haven’t heard before. The tears are pouring down my face as I remember it. As we moved out the door she needed to stay with the others. I handed her a picture of her with Daniel along with a note I had written and Sergei had already translated to tell her how grateful we are for the care and love she gave Daniel, and that I knew today would be painful for Daniel and for her. There goes the next waterfall of tears . . .

We got him into his coat, two hats and warm socks out on the landing. The Inspector hadn’t left yet and I insisted we give her a ride home (Sergei had already said it was okay). The Directory had a van that would take her home. With Daniel snug in my arms and more relaxed than our previous two outings, we dropped her off and then picked up the Visa after signing a couple more forms. It was all done!!!

It was 9:21 PM and we were famished. We drove through the McDrive near the Naukova station. So what did the pediatrician feed her newly adopted son for their first ‘meal’ together? McDonald’s French fries, of course. He likes them.

Time to load up the luggage and say good-bye to our home of the last month. We used the tiny, squeaky elevator again to get the bags downstairs. We had always climbed the four flights since arrival date. Off to the train station, able to keep our word to Daniel about riding the train today as we had been trying to give him some chance to prepare. We actually had about 30 minutes to wait in the station before we were allowed to board. John and Sergei maneuvered and arranged all the luggage while Daniel and I stood cuddled together and warm.

Before we boarded I begged for a picture with the train lady in charge of our car and the also-uniformed gentleman she was talking with (conductor?). We explained we had just adopted Daniel and were headed to Kyiv. They were very agreeable (and I was glad she would have an idea what was going on if Daniel had a lot of loud difficulties). We took leave of Sergei. He has been such a tremendous help. Yes, he is paid to do much of it, but we added other things not really required of him for the process of adoption. He never gave the slightest resistance to any of our whims, only sought to help us in any way possible. And we sure enjoyed our various coffees and many pastries with him.

Settling into our compartment Daniel became upset when closing the door. He made it clear we should open it again and I wonder if he suddenly realized this “outing” wasn’t about to end with his ‘safe’ return to his familiar home and beloved caregivers. He was distressed and it took opening the doors and quite a bit of comforting to settle him down. He drank some water and ate a couple of cookies (I think, I’ll check with John later). Then I put his night braces on to signal it was time for bed. He hated it. I tried to lay down with him but the distressed cry persisted. I asked if he wanted the braces off. He said yes and I just couldn’t add any further torture to this day. Off they came. His cry was much less then, and I was surprised how quickly he settled down while I hummed “Fur Elise” and softly sang “The Ants Go Marching”. Not the most common lullaby, but familiar enough and long enough to do the job. Within 45 minutes of leaving the train station he was out (John, too). I was completely surprised, expecting the stimulation and complete lack of familiar surroundings to keep him up at least half the night. But God gave us sleeping mercies.

Gotcha Day?

Up before the 6:00 alarm. LHM devotional today encourages us with the verse in Psalms that says “Taste and see that the Lord is good.”. Christine’s update appeared a few minutes after we got on-line. They celebrated the signing of the decree with a dish of ice cream after lunch. Good idea! No exercise today because I don’t want to pack wet, stinky clothes. As a matter of fact, John ran one final load last night so the work out clothes don’t even have old sweat and he has clean jeans. The suitcases are packed, packed, packed.

The last egg, the last of the yogurt, split the last tiny croissant. John had his French press coffee and we both had some multivitamin juice. We took out or garbage and met Sergei waiting in his car at the bus stop as arranged. We were a few minutes later than 7:15. The drive was uneventful. By the landscape we could have been driving through Wisconsin, only an occasional unfamiliar water tower or the power lines carried by concrete poles to indicate not.

We arrived at the Vital Records office at 8:15, one little babushka was waiting at the corner of the building out of the wind in front of us. I sat imagining her life, what brought her to the Vital Records Office, what would so important to stand out in the cold for an hour to be first on this March 10th morning. So patient, so still, few words when Sergei spoke to her. Then she pulled out a cell phone and called someone. “Cognitive dissonance” John calls it. John and Sergei kept hopping out of the car as people passed by to make sure we didn’t lose our second place in line. By 8:35 another gentleman had joined the wait and gradually a couple more.

A few minutes before 9:00 we were able to enter the building and finish waiting inside. When we came here for Nick and Dennis all business was conducted in an office to the right of the entry door, and we were seated to wait alone in the room off to the right. Now that “waiting room” has been converted to the director’s office. The wall facing the door is mirrors, the floor is newly tiled and the furniture nice.

The door to each office is solid and no secretary/assistant moderates the flow of customers. People just keep pulling the door open, sticking their head in to see if it is their turn, or if their document is ready, whatever. The first lady was directed to the other door, so we were first with the director. Sergei explained what we needed and received an application to complete. When he gave it back, she said to drink some coffee and come back at 10:00. We stopped at a notary’s office immediately across the street and found out if no one else was already waiting, she could make our authorized copies in 15 -20 minutes.. We then went to the bank to deposit the fee. By then it was 9:50 so we went back to the Vital Records Office. Sergei stuck his head into the office to see if the documents were ready - ‘no, ten more minutes’. In ten minutes he checked and they said they would call us. At 10:10 the first lady waiting was finished with her business and left. Several minutes later a secretary came out. Some of the other people in the waiting area questioned her and she indicated they needed to be patient, she was working on “the adoption“. We could just imagine the people thinking, “So that’s what those Americans are doing here.’

At 10:20 we were called in. The director was very pleasant. The paperwork was completed, we signed where instructed and she let us take a picture as she handed us the new birth certificate and adoption certificate. We gave her a picture of Daniel, John and I. She said thank you several times and said it was the first time she had been given a photo of an adopted child. At the small café at the end of the same building John and I ordered three coffees with milk and three of the dough-encased hot dogs while Sergei went across the street to get the copies made. We received the hot dogs and three coffees with sugar. We were done with our coffee and food by the time Sergei came back with mission accomplished. That should save us a lot of time driving across Kharkov to the other notary. Sergei had his quick “breakfast” and we were back on the road.

Next stop was the passport office in Kharkov. We arrived at nearly noon. Fortunately they take their lunch from 1 - 2 PM. Sergei went in to submit our application, and came out with the information that she would process the application once Daniel was removed from the registry. Children in Ukraine are usually, but not always registered somewhere. It could be where they were born, it could be it the district of the orphanage if a child is placed in one. The passport official didn’t know where he was registered so we should check with the orphanage director. The director wasn’t present when we arrived but eventually returned. She didn’t know if or where he was registered, either. We should check with the passport people in his hometown. Tried: gone for lunch until 2 PM.




No more suspense: we have Daniel and his passport, we are on the train to Kyiv! More of the details later.

Later

(This morning we just had time to snap a couple photos of the soldier statue across the intersection from our apartment building before Sergei picked us up.)

Our stop at the notary actually took more than an hour, so the passport application will be one less thing to take up time tomorrow. We will still need certified copies of the new birth certificate and adoption certificate, but those shouldn’t take as long. We ate lunch at a place near the Naukova Metro stop we noticed yesterday call The Grand Café. It was a nice place, quiet atmosphere. John ordered mushroom soup with baked bread and fresh vegetables: cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots and parsley. Sergei and I each ordered borsch and a Cesar salad. We all had black tea. Turns out John’s ‘fresh vegetables’ were served as a pureed drink. The baked bread was croutons. Tasty, just not as expected. The soups and salads were good - although a ‘Cesar’ salad must actually be intended to be different than our ‘Caesar’ salad.

Next stop train station. We decided to book a compartment for the overnight train tomorrow, leaving at 10:55 PM. No second-class compartments were available (we like them because we can put luggage on the upper bunks, and they cost less) but we were happy to take a first class compartment, and we’ll just have to work out the luggage. Good thing we don’t have the four huge suitcases plus carry-on luggage we had last round.

We stopped at the apartment for the ‘evening’ toy bag and then Sergei took us to the orphanage. They provided us with the letter we need petitioning the passport office to issue Daniel a passport. They also gave us the letter regarding medical coverage. We were able to confirm that the doctors will be giving us Daniel’s complete schedule, and we got a quick overview today (up at 7, breakfast at 8, second breakfast at 10, lunch at noon, nap from 12:30 until 3:30 or f4:00, then snack, supper at 7 PM; they put the kids on the toilet 10 - 15 minutes before and after every meal). They said they don’t do anything special to his food: he can eat anything. They also made sure we knew he needs a potty chair with handles and a back support - and not one that makes music when he sits down. I loved that one! They also suggested that when he pulls at his face it is because his head hurts - oh, yeah, just like my head hurts when I don’t get exactly what I want right when I want it. J

We went in search of the psychologist next. The director’s secretary was with her, and she went back to her office to Xerox the cover of the CD she uses that Daniel likes so we can find it on the Internet. She also gave us rather extensive lists of classical music. His favorites, she said, are Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata” and “Fur Elise” and Tchaikovsky’s “Waltz of the Flowers”.

Then it was time to see Daniel. He came out with his legs loose, jacket hood up, hair damp and smelling very sweetly of clean little boy. No other families were visiting yet and we got the landing for our last visit (we hope). The usual: looking out the window with many cheerful comments; bumping into things while riding on Daddy’s back; fishing; removing pieces from the puzzle; eating 1 ½ crackers and a half banana. He was content to sit on my crossed legs - really does form a pretty good seat for him - and use the puzzle board as a table for looking at the Russian word book.

He was in a generally good and very cooperative mood and agreed to try just about any word we asked of him. He said “Mama, help” for the first time. (“help” was more like ‘elp’) he said bump, armp’ (armpit), bum (bellybutton), Dad, pole (fishing pole), ‘nana, cracker, down, water, “peet” (Russian for ‘drink), and signed fish (although he held his outstretched hand still). He moved his legs for walking and stood and sat multiple times. Our knitting lesson was briefer today but I introduced him to the circular knitting needles this time.

Six thirty came pretty quickly, and when we asked if he wanted to go to group he was very helpful putting everything back in the carryall. He was even patient lying on the couch while we folded up the blankets. On our way out we saw the couple adopting little Nastia. We told them we are going to Kyiv tomorrow. They indicated they will be leaving in five days.

I took a picture of the last walk down the hall returning to group. Back at his room we gave the wooden train and the rubber blocks to the caregivers as a gift. One of the nurses who gave us a completed note card over the weekend was able to tell us she won’t be here tomorrow during the day and said good-bye (’das va dah nya‘). I’m certain she was also wishing us well and said something about Daniel growing big. She had previously asked for photographs and showed us her address in the note card. I will do my very best to honor that request.

At the Billa we found wipes for the trip home, Cokes (and candy bars) for tomorrow’s paper chase, a loaf of bread to feed Daniel breakfast or snack.

John cooked up the last of the ham, sliced up the last of the cheese and we have been finishing up the last bag of chips, the last two pieces of Woman’s Day chocolates, the last chocolate croissants, the last chocolate wafer cookies. Big sacrifices, don’t you think? I think we are done packing. I picked out Daniel’s “Gotcha Day” outfit - couldn’t resist the jacket and pants that say “Oshkosh” even though he will swim in the 3T jacket. We have set aside our gifts for Sergei’s family, calculated our remaining finances, and I’m about to drink a double-bag cup of “Sleepytime Extra” tea, hoping for less trouble falling and remaining asleep tonight, since Sergei recommended we get good rest. He will pick us up at 7:15 so we can get an early start back to Daniel’s home town and be first in line at the Vital Records office after the long holiday weekend.

I have no idea when or if we will have time to post tomorrow. I’ll have the computer with me and should be able to write things down as we go.

Unfortunately . . .

Sergei picked us up at 8:30. We arrived at the court house in time to have a cup of coffee nearby. At 9:00 Sergei went in to talk to the secretary. The judge was not in yet, but the secretary said to come back in an hour, but could not promise the judge would sign the decree today. We drank some more coffee. In an hour he had all eight copies we requested signed, stamped and sewn together!!! We are off to the orphanage for Daniel's birth certificate and then to his home town. Hurray - thanks God. A very big thank you!

The trip to his home town took about an hour and ten minutes - a lot of that getting across Kharkov. Sergei had checked with the Vital Statistics Office in advance to be sure they would be open today and had been assured they would. However as we walked up to the door we saw the bright yellow sign announcing that they are closed today because of Woman’s Day yesterday. They are usually closed on Monday, so in order to have a true holiday they also took Tuesday off. We suspected this was a possibility.

Our elation is a bit deflated, but Daniel is still legally our son and no one can petition otherwise now. Back to Kharkov. We can have our application for the passport completed at the notary’s office today, although we will have to wait to submit it until tomorrow. We will also buy train tickets today for the overnight train to Kyiv tomorrow night. We will see if the Inspector will be available tomorrow at 4 PM. She needs to be present as we take Daniel out of the orphanage. Sergei will also come with us to the orphanage to ask for the insurance letter and other information we have requested. We will try to take care of any little thing to save time tomorrow.

We still know absolutely that God is in control and has all the details worked out.

We Have the Court Decree!

Sergei picked us up at 8:30. We arrived at the court house in time to have a cup of coffee nearby. At 9:00 Sergei went in to talk to the secretary. The judge was not in yet, but the secretary said to come back in an hour, but could not promise the judge would sign the decree today. We drank some more coffee. In an hour he had all eight copies we requested signed, stamped and sewn together!!! We are off to the orphanage for Daniel's birth certificate and then to his home town. Hurray - thanks God. A very big thank you!

Woman's Day

I slept great last night and didn’t wake until 6:47 AM. Could not get on the Internet, so had plenty of time to exercise. Egg, yogurt, coffee/Energy Refresh Tea.

We left a little early and went up to the Blaser Café again. We chose different beans for our mochas and picked up some Limited Edition Galapagos San Cristobal beans. The woman working was very affable and patient. She confirmed the price and was able to determine that yes, we would like it ground for use in a French press. Again, it was a peaceful interval in such a congenial place. The traffic was remarkably, incredibly decreased from any other morning, including Sundays. Ukraine really takes its Woman’s Day seriously! The flower shops were still doing brisk business we could observe from our vantage point.

Next stop: Billa. John put more money on our Internet device (minutes? Broad-band width? Ya nees niuu - I don’t know) at a machine that can also be used to add minutes to a cell phone and we picked up two boxes of chocolates. One we left in Daniel’s room - telling them it was not for little boys or girls (since we don’t know how to say 'grown-ups', 'nurses' or 'caregivers'). The other box we passed out as anyone passed us in the green corridor. We checked with Nadya yesterday about the appropriate greeting for the day. Essentially they wish each other “The Eighth of March”. So we said “Eight, March” in very poor Russian grammar all day. Didn’t seem to matter. One lady carrying food was crabby in her refusal. I think the only other refusals came from two ladies in Daniel’s room, one of whom we had actually handed the whole box to. Everyone else cheerfully took a piece and expressed their thanks - and I think wished me the same.

While we waited for Daniel the doctor of the day came out and indicated he had a little bloody nose. We had noticed a bit of dried blood a couple of times before and he managed an active, but minor, bleed for us once too. Another resemblance to his next older brother. He came out shortly thereafter and we had a good visit.

We avoided the “Up, Down” game in deference to the recent nose bleed. He did some fishing. We have been told he likes puzzles. For us he only likes to pull the pieces out of the puzzle, or use the empty surface to tap the fishing pole on. Once or twice he has accidentally but with obvious ability put a piece in its place before he caught himself. Today he put four pieces in place in a row - but obstinately refused to put even one more in. We had a pit of a stand-off over the triangle piece. It landed on the floor multiple times before I maneuvered his hand into place while he held it. Yes, his mother has completion issues and can be (is always) quite stubborn, too.

He has learned to say “zoom, zoom” to let us know he wants to ride the motorcycle. He got a lot of use out of the motorcycle, and with much less foot traffic we took him along hallways beyond the green corridor. John has been especially diligent about getting Daniel to use his right arm and hand, which is more difficult than his left. Today as long as he used his right arm to indicate which direction he wanted to go, John complied.

Nick had one primary caregiver that we have always referred to as “the stern teacher”. She always seemed more serious and maintained excellent control of her group of ten three-year-olds. She could quickly and with seeming easy engage all of them in organized play (circle games). We never did get her picture or name last round. Apparently she drew the short straw and had to work on Woman’s Day. It was a great break as far as I was concerned. Weekends are generally more relaxed at the orphanage and this holiday even more so. She accepted a chocolate with lots of smiles on her first pass. The next time I was ready with a photograph of Nick to give her, the camera and a notepad. She seemed very happy to have the picture of Nick (I referred to him by the original version of his name, but I have no doubt she remembers us). She didn’t protest very much at all when I asked to have her picture for Nick (it is their custom to protest, at least a little bit, to having pictures taken or accepting gifts). When the picture turned out to be too dark I showed her and she gestured to move down to a lighter area. She commented on Nick being six years old now. I told her he is a ‘very good boy’. Wish I knew the equivalent of “great kid with a fantastic smile”. She even wrote her first name down - in big block letters in both Russian and English. I didn’t realize this at the time, but when she passed by yet again I commented “in English, good job” (Russian) to which she replied “of course” (Russian). So “Nick’s stern teacher” is now ‘Natasha’.

At the end of the morning, we noticed it was the first time Daniel seemed sad to have us leave. Maybe none of his favorite caregivers are working today.

Back at the apartment we got on-line with no problem, able to get Christine’s update and a couple other e-mails. Then we left again for lunch. ‘Our’ cafeteria was closed, so we had “Big Mac Menu”s at McDonalds. We waited and had our cappuccinos at the bakery - too full for pastries, though. John had another document for the Embassy printed at the nearby Internet Café. We were going to buy a plastic sleeve to protect it at the stationery shop, but it was closed. I’ve been thinking. Since it has been in that same location at least three years (we shopped there last visit) and it doesn’t carry note cards or letter-writing paper, perhaps it is more of a stationary rather than stationery store.

We got back to our Metro stop and realized we had left the document at the bakery. I went on to the apartment (first time I’ve ever done that alone) and John took the Metro back (first time he’s ever done that alone). He returned soon and he figured out how to buzz the apartment from the outside door and I figured out how to “buzz” him in remotely. I’m guessing we will never get that second key we were promised on move-in day 22 days ago. Hasn’t been a problem at all, though.

We called Nick and Dennis and we all (Engebrechts, too) ate snowflake-shaped Peppermint patties simultaneously as we had arranged prior to the trip. Of course, ours were an afternoon treat, theirs an immediately-after breakfast treat. Having had a muffin and a stayed-dry-all-day jelly bean too, Dennis spun off into a goofy sugar high.

Anya called us just before we returned to the orphanage. She is one hard-working lady who was back at her office because work on Friday and Saturday hadn’t been overly-efficient due to pre-Woman‘s Day celebrations.

It took awhile to get anyone’s attention at Daniel’s door. John finally stuck his head inside and called out the formal Russian ‘hello’. After the woman brought Daniel out, she was calling to another back in the room while she pushed on the doorbell. Yes, the doorbell is broken. It has been broken this entire round and it is still broken.

Up to the landing. We didn’t see any other families at all today. The landing is always much warmer than the corridor and I have started unzipping or removing Daniel’s jacket up there. We had several more grateful ladies accept chocolates. Daniel had his second knitting lesson. It was a little less complex since we were using only two needles instead of four. We were working with just three stitches, so we had to switch the needles back and forth from hand to hand frequently. At first he didn’t want to let go of the needles, but he stuck with me a long time and got the hang of letting go of one and grabbing the other.


John and Daniel stood looking out the window and Daniel was very talkative again. A great deal of the time was spent with Daniel on John’s back going up and down the adjoining hallway (without lights), occasionally going “Bump” against the walls. Daniel didn’t find it as side-splittingly funny today, but he liked it well enough to ask by name without prompting.

He was content to play with the train, two bags and look at the Russian book while lying on the floor. He army-crawled when he wanted to move and could capably flip tummy-to-back and back-to-right side (easier to use left hand). When we said it was time to leave he moved all over the blankets handing me things to put in the bags, and finally had an excuse to touch our boots (we frequently tell him ‘no, not a toy’) so he could hand them to us, too.

It was a nice visit. We intentionally savored it as possibly the last one of its kind. If all goes well, we will be busy all day tomorrow:

Picking up the court decree
Getting his original birth certificate from the orphanage
Driving to his home town to have name changed on birth certificate and obtaining adoption certificate (total expected time of 4 - 5 hours)
Getting his new name changed for his tax ID number
Applying for his passport at the passport office
And somewhere in there going to the notary’s office.

I’m packing a full day of knitting projects and medical journals.

Another stop at the Billa for water, yogurt, an orange, Coke and ice cream bars (our celebration of Woman’s Day). John cooked pasta and used up the rest of the tomato sauce. He also did the dishes since he read on-line that women aren’t supposed to do housework on Woman’s Day. We are eating the other bag of microwave popcorn. That leaves grilled ham and cheese and the last bag of chips for tomorrow night.

Oh - and the LHM devotion began with some things we do and do not understand about California. IVP Hard Saying: Psalms 51:16-19: Does God Desire Sacrifices?

Sunday - Not Gone Fishing

An addendum: The day after we gave out thank-you photos, blank note cards and blank recipe cards, one of the kitchen workers came to me in the green corridor and handed back all the index cards - with five recipes written. Hurray! We thanked her profusely and can’t wait to find out what they say. Sergei has agreed to translate them for us.

Surprisingly I had no problems falling asleep last night around 11 in spite of the evening espresso and I slept pretty soundly until about 5:45. I gave myself the day off of exercising (Jillian probably wouldn’t approve). During the hour it took to get on the Internet I wrote the letter to Natalya and made myself some coffee. Sure tasted good first thing in the morning.

A correction: I listed the wrong web address for the LHM devotional yesterday - it is corrected now. The one I wanted was for March 6th (which comes into my mailbox before it is available on the website). Today’s is definitely worth checking out: http://www.lhm.org/dailydevotions.asp?date=20100307

The IVP Hard Saying of the Day: Genesis 3:16: Is Childbearing a Curse or a Blessing? It is a good discussion, although in the end they weren’t trying to make the point I was expecting. What came to mind were the many discussions up on the Mother-Baby (Labor & Delivery) floor in the hospital where the nurses recount their own personal nightmare deliveries. At the end of these I raise my hand and say with great relief, “And then there’s adoption.”

Christine’s report: Today the fiery men are Me-shadrach, Meshach, and Go To Bed. From the day the Internet was down: “[Dennis] had dropped a toy motor for a K'Nex set on his foot and wasn't too happy about that. Then, he showed me something and bumped his head on a chair Ben was sitting on as he walked around it. He wasn't to happy about that either. So I kissed it better. Then as he walked around it again, he bumped it again. Another kiss. Then he bumped it again. Kiss. Now his chin. Another kiss. Now his nose, cheek, head, eyebrow. Kiss, kiss, kiss ,kiss. We must have played this game for a good 10-15 minutes and got his "kiss bank" all filled up.”

I just love how kisses can make things all better at that age!

Eggs, yogurt, multivitamin juice, what else? John put all of our towels in the wash for one last round. He admits he likes running the washer here.

We arrived at the Musical Institute(?) building to join a number of church members just inside the entrance while Igor, who led the service this morning, obtained the key to their usual room. It was another happy reunion with Tanya and Katya and we got caught up on the week’s events. I was very happy to hear Katya’s first week back at school here went better than expected. They told me of only one significant “bump” that God has already smoothed out. She and her brother will still be studying for the cumulative exams coming the first of April. We continued talking upstairs and sharing photos of Daniel until we were all called to worship. John had a conversation with Peter who had been a professor at a Bible college in Ohio (somewhere between Akron and Cleveland). The eager gentleman who last week was sorry he didn’t take advantage of his chance to learn English didn’t need any words at all to ask for and enjoy the photos I had on hand. After the service we gave him one of the three of us, and John gave him his e-mail address because he has a son who will help us communicate. With Katya and her father we exchanged Skype id’s.

We began with prayer and a number of hymns, between which Igor would sometimes share some thoughts (no interpreter at that point): “How Great Thou Art”; “Holy, Holy, Holy”; and unfamiliar one but a refrain we caught on to; “Softly and Tenderly”; “Just as I Am”; “Have Thine Own Way, Lord”. Another lengthy children’s message. She lost me after “good morning” in Russian. John heard her say the Russian word for ‘apple’ so he followed a little longer. Then Alec arrived and graciously sat behind us to whisper the translations. She was talking about sin and disobedience and how God in his great love did not stop loving us. He provided the ark for Noah and his family, later prophets, judges and finally his own son. She referred to the “Pearl of Great Price” parable and said God in his love sees us as that pearl for which Jesus set aside his power, glory and riches. I haven’t thought of it that way before. She finished up with an upbeat round of “Jesus Loves Me, This I Know” and we know enough Russian to join in the refrain.

Alec was called up front to play a hymn unfamiliar to us, and presumably to Tanya. Igor read from the book of John, chapter 6 beginning at verse 27. He shared his recent thoughts about how he anticipates events such as a new baby, a trip, the approval of a visa and how we can anticipate heaven, too - the joy of eternal life with God, and without tests or hardships.

Alyec (also spoke our first Sunday) came up next. Referring to Psalm 15, 1 Corinthians 6:5, Romans 10 and Psalm 4:6 he talked about the ‘righteous’ inheriting the kingdom of God, and that our righteousness cannot save us, in fact we can not be righteous without God. To inherit the kingdom of God we can only trust in His mercy and love.

Igor spoke a bit more and then we sang, “When I Survey the Cross”. A few people brought up prayer requests. We had only one round of “Happy Birthday” today. We did some more visiting upstairs before moving down to the basement café for tea and cookies. It is just so good to have this time to spend with Tanya, Katya, Denis, Alec and Nadya. We will have a much better opportunity to stay in contact this time. And who knows - perhaps some day we will be able to return? (God does know, He just doesn’t overload us with information too far in advance.)

We grabbed our lunch in the Metro tunnels on our way back to the apartment - the hotdogs in dough from two different vendors, as well as the familiar chocolate pastries apparently from a branch of our Naukova French bakery. We took some time to relax and listen to a CD of a Ukrainian Orthodox priest in America that Oleksandr had graciously given us as we left Kyiv. In this series of presentations he is going back to the basics: why we believe what we believe. It is very interesting. I appreciate his view that once you become a Christian you are not required to turn off the thinking part of your brain, that it is important to know God as much as possible in order to have a closer relationship with him.

We called Nick and Dennis a little before 7 AM their time. They were excited about yesterday’s mini-golf outing with Brian and Caleb. We are not quite sure why, but it seems Dennis didn’t sleep for a couple of hours and he wasn’t happy that Nick tried to tell us about it. Dennis hung up on us once by accidentally pressing a button with his cheek. Nick dropped “us” all the way down the stairs with the same result. We are all glad it was the phone and not the boy that took the tumble.

The modern department store/mall across the street advertises a Blaser Café upstairs. When Anya was here we checked to see if it was a good place for lunch. They only serve coffee. With a day chillier than usual and a little extra time, we stopped there today before going to the orphanage. They do serve only coffee beverages, but the selection of 15 different beans we chose from made for a non-average mocha experience, and that was even before the works of art were delivered to our small table! The view (we were on the third floor surrounded by glass) and soft, pleasant music made for a nice calm interlude. It opens at 8:30 AM, and we might just have to stop in tomorrow morning again. We hope to have a chance to bring Sergei.

At the orphanage one of the caregivers had two note cards to give us while we waited for Natalya to dress Daniel. She made it clear (with no English required) that she would very much like to have us send photographs after we go home. Later up on the landing she let us take her picture with Daniel. Daniel was happy to see us and the feeling was mutual. On our way through the corridor Daniel indicated each couch we passed, but agreed to go all the way upstairs.

We made ourselves at home per usual. What was unusual was that neither bag was ever completely emptied tonight. Usually he upends every bag available at some point. The magnetic fishing and puzzle never saw the light of day today.

John pulled the train out of our ‘evening’ bag and he did dump this out. We brought along the stuffed koala and blue bunny tonight. Koala was allowed to help throw the train pieces back in the bag. Koala also prevented Blue Bunny from eating the cookie Daddy was holding for Daniel.

During this visit another caregiver brought us two completed note cards and when we asked for a photo she called the other writer out, too. We are so grateful for these momentos for Daniel.

Daniel said a nice ‘cracker’ tonight and again asked for the ‘Bump’ game. He and John spent some time looking out the window and we saw Natalya with another child looking out a window in his group room across the courtyard.
He laid up on the couch for a while with John on the floor right next to him, reading a small board book someone had left behind. I helped him drink some water and he was much better tonight. Although he tends to inhale as the water enters his mouth, he only choked once tonight.

He also had his first knitting lesson. John caught it on video.

For supper we had the frozen mixed vegetables we purchased some time last week (I think). They were very good - a mixture of red and yellow bell peppers, onions, tomatoes, green beans, zucchini and a few sliced olives in a light sauce of soy sauce, mustard and lots of basil. Just two or three suppers left here in Kharkov.

Bump

Awake at 6. Haven’t been sleeping very well for a few nights, but felt more rested this morning. John and I have had lingering coughs since arrival. We don’t cough very often, and otherwise feel well so I am wondering if it is in response to residual cigarette smoke in the apartment. We could smell the cigarettes much more strongly in Kyiv when the manager constantly smoked right outside of our door, but Anya says she can assure us 120% that a lot of smoking was done in this apartment, too. Getting away from that and getting back to many more fresh vegetables and no fried foods are some of the things I look forward to at home.

The Engebrechts’ Internet is back up. Nick and Dennis have obviously been listening to their Bible stories at home, school and Sunday school. Christine writes: “Last night at bedtime, Nick and Dennis noticed that the story of the men in the fiery furnace was coming up and were telling me what their names were. "Me-shack, You-shadrack, and Bednigo" was what Dennis thought. I tried to tell them that I though maybe one of the names was "To-bed-we-go" but they didn't buy it. Today he thinks they are "Shadrack, Me-shadrack and Bednigo." “ (The third chapter of the book of Daniel covers the fiery furnace, chapters one, two and three cover more of their story.)

The devotional from LHM was good, and since I don’t want any of you to waste time chasing a field mouse when you started with bigger aspirations, I will encourage you to check out http://www.lhm.org/dailydevotions.asp?date=20100306 . IVP Hard Saying of the Day covered Isaiah 7:14: A Virgin Shall Conceive? I’ll include the website once here for anyone who is interested: http://ivpress.com/hardsay/

Managed to do more of the Level 2 workout today. We had eggs and yogurt for breakfast. Saturday is cleaning day at the Engebrechts’ (and many homes), and by 9 AM our bathroom was also clean and John had the first wave of sweeping done, with plans to sweep the landing outside our door and wash the towel placed there as a door mat.

They brought Daniel to us in his camouflage fleece - guess we got too much banana on yesterday’s outfit - and had the smaller wool socks over the braces. Tight fit, but they did it. The caregiver pointed out that the other socks were quite big. We gestured with English to show the big ones were for the braces. She seemed to catch on but we said we would take care of it ourselves.

We didn’t see any other adoptive families at all this morning. Last night two of the other couples stayed just past 6 PM. Daniel chose the first couch we passed, asked for the black bag and quickly found the banana which of course he wanted to eat. We cut it in half. Lately he gets to the last bite of banana or cookie and just holds it in his mouth, laughing when he tell him to ‘kushi’ (eat). His next bigger brother went through a very similar phase. He did some fishing, some hairdressing, played Putthefishinsidethebag and Dumpthemoutagain (a variation on last night’s train theme), and rode the motorcycle. While helping him drink water I noticed his forehead felt warm. When the doctor on duty passed by, she walked over and felt his forehead, too, noting that he was “choot-choot” (a little) warm. He looked fine to me, so I’m not sure how she knew to check. Maybe he was warm up in his group room earlier this morning.

He was mesmerized when John combed his hair. We will definitely have a comb available for every stage of the trip home!

When he got tired of all our couch activities, John put him up on his back for a walk. He was randomly walking around and wondered what Daniel would think if he tried to walk through the wall. He started gently bumping his (John’s) head into walls and saying “bump”, then moving to the next space with open wall and doing it again. Daniel thought this was hysterically funny, cracking up every time and even learning to enunciate a very clear “bump” for the occasion. Again, I wish uploading video was easier, because I got a pretty good clip of that too, I think.

After he emptied his first cup of (real) water, we pretended to refill his cup with water, juice and coffee and encouraged him to drink it. He seemed to understand this game, although eventually he wanted something real and asked for “wawa“ (water).

At one point he was rather naughty, and itching for a similar showdown as on the 24th, but for this round we ignored and distracted, and he gave up.

He gave no arguments, but showed no eagerness either when it was time to return to group. He does, however, get smiley-excited when we knock on the door to his room, and always reaches to do the same. Since they rarely hear our knock and his is much softer, we let him go for it.

Stopped at the Billa on the way home for water and a stiff broom John wants to use out on the landing. We also picked up some chocolate to take home.

A light snow was falling and a bit colder chill in the air, so the soup we had planned at the cafeteria near the Naukova station sounded better than ever. After soup and bread we looked for a blank card or piece of stationery paper for the note I want to leave for Daniel’s favorite Natalya, but stationery stores here carry no such thing (we were assured by an English-speaking clerk)! I have something that will work well enough, so we left that store to get some reviving, warming cappuccinos and . . . Chocolate French pastries, of course. The steamer is fixed again, by the way. John also order some hot chocolate to mix with his espresso, and drink plain. The rich, thick hot chocolate here is nothing like you will ever find back home. Another food we will miss.

Then back to the apartment to rest. John tried to take a nap, but couldn’t stay in bed wanting to check on the towel door mat in the washing machine. When it finally emerged, the ‘door mat’ turned out to be a small tea towel and a large yellow sleeveless shirt. His attempt to sweep the landing was short-lived. It kicked up way to much dirt and he was wishing for a Shop-Vac with a HEPA filter or a power washer instead.

We arrived at the orphanage shortly after 4 PM and headed up to the landing. Hurray - it was vacant! We started with a video Skype call to the Engebrechts so the brothers could see each other again. Daniel poked Dennis in the eye. Good thing it doesn’t hurt via the Internet. We aren’t sure, but we think Daniel understood they are real people, and talking to us. His interest didn’t last too long, even being fed bits of cookie, but it was sure was good to see Nick, Dennis, Christine and all the cousins.

Daniel asked for “Bump” before we brought it up at all this evening. Dad complied with the same hysterical response from Daniel. Later we found out it is pretty funny when Mom plays, too.

John and Daniel stood at the window looking outside with Daniel talking more and longer than we have ever heard before. We understood none of it, like toddler jargon or babbling, but I caught a full two minutes of it on video. Tonight his ‘cracker’ wasn’t as distinct as previously, but he agreed to do the sign for “fish”.

John invented a new game. When Daniel was fishing, John picked one specific fish and told it to “stay here”. Every time Daniel picked it up with the fishing pole, John took it off and told it ‘no, stay here’ (Russian). Every other fish was allowed to leave the wooden ‘ocean’ and go into the plastic bag, just not that one. Daniel caught on pretty quickly and enjoyed the game very much. Later he played it with me, too. We did see the mom with the older twin girls down in the corridor tonight, and the man with the blond boy made the circuit up the stairs and down the hall a couple of times.

Cleaning the apartment was the prerequisite for eating ice cream tonight. We took the Metro to Bella Pizza for supper. A one-centimeter layer of snow brightened and cleaned up the landscape today. A very thin glaze of ice made it far more treacherous. We each had a couple of slips that could have landed us on the ground, but we were able to hold each other up.

John had a Chief (chef) Salad with salami and slices of white Italian cheese and spaghetti with bologna. I had a Cesar salad and the Macaroni del ? (I can’t remember) - it was a tasty white sauce with cherry tomatoes and chicken. We have been scrupulous about the water we drink, but if we are supposed to be avoiding fresh fruits and vegetables that haven’t been cooked or need to be peeled, it is far too late to bother with it now. We were so nearly full we agreed to share an ice cream dessert - but didn’t make ourselves clear with the waitress, who brought two dishes of ice cream to accompany our two cappuccinos. The only right thing to do was to enjoy them both to the best of our ability, right? And take a picture, of course.

Miscellaneous:

Recent new words: ‘pole’ (as in fishing), ‘no’ (English) and ‘hi’ in addition to ‘bump’ and ‘water’.

We learned that yellow flowers here indicate ‘good-bye’. Anya was gracious enough to accept our bright yellow tulips in the welcoming spirit in which they were intended without comment. Thanks, Anya!

While we were still in Kyiv Oleksandr told us he likes to hold his daughters close to him and smell them. It seemed a little odd at first, but children really do change in aroma as they grow. He told us he had heard (wish I could remember the source) that children are like ice cream. They are going to melt no matter what, so you should be sure to taste them. The longer we are away from Nick and Dennis, the more eager I am to ‘taste’ them again! This month away from them is a month we can never share again, although I think their experience with my sister’s family is very good for them, and the phone calls and e-mails have definitely bridged the distance.

Thurs' Day: Loose Legs

Last night we called The Learning Garden, the day care center we use, and spoke to the director. We had previously told her we were adopting a special-needs child. She had assured us he would be welcome. We let her know when Nick and Dennis will be back and gave her more information on Daniel’s abilities/limitations so she can plan staffing accordingly. We are grateful that they are so willing to try to accommodate our needs.

Lutheran Hour Ministry’s (LHM’s) devo talked about God answering prayer. Tends to boil down to ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘later‘. Thought about it throughout the day. Seems to me like sometimes God says “no” to a request only because he has a much better “yes” planned, one we didn’t even ask for. We asked that the director would be able to allow me to leave early (today) as we had planned. That received a ‘no’ answer. But now it looks like we might all three be able to go home together next Saturday. It would be faster than we imagined for John and Daniel, and a much better trip with two adults and a child who can’t stand. A huge and unexpected ‘yes’. Perhaps.

Intervarsity Press tackled Genesis 3:5: just what does it mean when Satan said, “you will be like God, knowing good and evil”? The idea of this pursuit of autonomy resulting instead in alienation led me to do a search on “alien” in the Bible. God gives many directives on the treatment of “aliens”. Remembering that the Israelites had been aliens in Egypt, they were to be good to the aliens in their midst. Prior to our faith in Jesus Christ we were aliens to God. We have been ‘aliens’ in a strange land for the past few weeks, and we have been well-treated, indeed.

No message from Christine - found out later their Internet service was out. Bad news for Ben who has high school via Internet classes and needed to take a chemistry test. Level 2 on the exercise video. A new twist on breakfast. Inspired by my garlic bread last night John decided to make toast this morning: over an open flame on the stove! The blue flame actually reaches up to the draining spatula John is holding in the picture - and no, we didn’t cause the singe mark on the adjacent refrigerator, but it is easy to see how it could happen.

Daniel came to us with his hood up and his braces off. Since they always put his hood up when his hair is wet, it is possible he had his water therapy before we arrived. He never got upset when he saw the therapist throughout the rest of the day. He was also wearing the wool socks I finished knitting at yesterday evening’s visit. I left them on his feet when we “returned” him for the night along with the loose footies he had been wearing. We had a nice visit down in the green corridor. He ate half of a banana, a cookie and choked down a little water (I hate listening to that, but I know it is how they always let him drink). Riding the motorcycle, and John lifting him high in the air or dipping him low to the ground as Daniel requested either “up” or “down” in English were the primary forms of entertainment. Without the weight of the braces Daniel has a much easier time moving his legs and agreed to quite a bit of walking while John supported most of his body weight. Wish it weren’t so hard to upload video clips from here, because we got some excellent “foot”age. Also due to the absence of the braces, I was wishing I had his shoes along so we could see if they fit.

On our way back upstairs one of his caregivers and the physical/water therapist stopped and asked about the socks. To me they looked ridiculous because I made them specifically to fit over his braces, but they called them beautiful. They asked if I made the sweater I was wearing, too - a smiling ‘nyet’ was my answer.

We had a few more pictures we wanted to have printed so after dropping off the carryall we headed for the Metro and went to the Historical Museum stop by Alec and Nadya’s church to use our usual place. They don’t admit to any English, but don’t seem to mind working with us. We headed down the hill to the open market we remember from the last adoption in search of a bib for the trip home (for soup). That didn’t take long and we explored further. We wandered into a building where they had counter after counter of fresh (I hope) meat on display - on counters and hung in the air - in every imaginable form. No purchases there but on the way back we picked up some leggings (these are common for both boys and girls for warmth) with fire trucks, small flat foam Russian alphabet squares, and finally a fleece outfit. Even the long-sleeved shirt is made of fleece. It will feel soooo good. The proprietor spoke no English but does communicate well. She found out we were looking for clothes for a small two-year-old boy. She thought the outfit we picked out was too small and pointed to a larger sweat suit. John and I agreed the one we had should fit, and with a look that said “you try to help some people and they just don’t want to listen” she bagged it up. We misunderstood about the price but she waited patiently while we parsed out the Russian numerals, and then gave us a 10 grivna discount. (Parsed here doesn’t, of course, refer to grammar, but John said it works based on computer usage.)

We ate at a cafeteria we had seen on our way down. First we made sure it was a cafeteria because “sit-down” restaurants can be very difficult without an interpreter. We each grabbed a tomato and cucumber salad (John’s had some kind of white sour cream sauce in it). John had a rice pilaf and picked something off the top shelf - a spherical, breaded and fried food. I went with roasted potato slices and chicken shish kabob. After dishing up the warm foods they put them in a microwave to further heat them (universal). John also got a bowl of borsch. I had my rice in the form of a slice of rice pudding. We each had a Coke. They didn’t give our hot food back to us right away, and the cashier rang up the rest of our food. Didn’t seem like the bill was large enough ($4 US) for all of our food. I took what we had to a table and John went back to ask for our hot stuff - yep, another $4.

John had better success with his food adventure today. Last time we went to the Naukova cafeteria he accepted some dark meat smothered in onions. Funny, I didn’t recall he was much of a liver-and-onions guy. He isn’t. I split my chicken cutlet with him and discovered I really liked his liver. Strange! It is similar to how I finally began to like oatmeal (again) during a mission trip in Ukraine several years ago. He had more of my chicken, I ate more of his liver and onions. This time we each liked all of our food, and I was too full to eat all of my rice. Most of the Coke came with me.

Sergei called as we were finishing up. He had found another errand we needed to take care of. We first arranged for him to come pick us up at our then-current location, but when we returned to the photo shop our pictures were ready and we let Sergei know we would meet him back at our Metro stop. The errand to the court house was completed and we arrived at our apartment just in time to call Nick and Dennis. They were both pretty excited about bracelets Katie had made for them, each with their name spelled out. Nick counted out the days with us until I (and hopefully Dad and Daniel) return. He is very determined we should play Christine’s choir button game when I get back, and repeated and augmented the rules (to cover cheaters) he had given us yesterday. We should be experts. We learned Nick had been invited to a birthday bowling party that we will miss by a matter of hours on March 18th. We were able to call via Skype and leave our regrets later.

Sergei came to take us back to the orphanage. He had been able to pick up some original hospital records we will need, but the traffic was just horrible and it took him twice as long to get back to us as he expected.

Our favorite landing was already taken again, so we settled on the slightly larger of the three couches in the corridor. Daniel was sans braces - a whole day of loose legs! I had brought along the wool socks I knit for Dennis his first winter to wear inside boots when playing in the snow. They fit Daniel much better than the over-the-braces socks. We also tried on the shoe/boots we had purchased. They slip on easily with just the leggings he always wears, but although I did get them on with the thick socks, I got the impression they weren’t too comfortable. We also tried on the pants we had purchased today (about an inch longer than his usual pants, definitely not too small, thank you very much!) and others we had brought along. All are on the large side, but not by too much.

The favorite games for the evening were Papafetchtheballs, Dumpthetrainoutofthebag and Putthetrainbackintothebag. He did some more walking, too. I put the finishing touches on the socks for the braces (weaving in loose ends, etc.).

After his half banana he begged for water, and we discovered we had the cup, but no bottle of water. John headed for the kitchen where they graciously dipped out a cup for him. Makes us think they might boil and cool the water, since they didn’t just run it out of the tap. I’m still guessing he will have Giardia when we get home. He teased about wanting my knitting and was naughty throwing things we’ve told him not to, so I think he was feeling pretty good. We took away offended items and made him apologize to us, but no major showdowns. The time seemed to go more quickly tonight. When Daniel agreed he wanted to go back to ‘group’ we insisted he put the wooden train pieces back in bag one more time. With persuasion he did. I sent both pairs of socks with him.

On the way home we agreed to use up the foods we have on hand - then just eat out. We will still need water, Coke and chocolate, and John will also have his Multivitamin Juice. John grilled ham and cheese for supper. We have enough bread and butter for one more round of those. I’m not sure the pasta will get used up. It has an unfamiliar texture that John is finding difficult to enjoy. Our pants got splattered with mud today so I am washing perhaps the last load of ‘darks’.

Monday is Woman’s Day, the biggest national holiday in Ukraine. Anyone who can get off work does, and it is customary to give flowers, candies or some other acknowledgement to female family members and co-workers. For Alec and Nadya’s candy bouquet business this is bigger than even Valentine’s Day. The very long row of flower shops across the street from the other side of our apartment building was very busy and we saw many women already with a single flower or bouquet, and it seemed everyone was hurrying home from work to set off on a three-day weekend to be with moms or sisters. We are planning to take flowers to the orphanage on Monday to pass out to those who must work. Hope there are nice flowers left by then.

In anticipation of leaving Kharkov next Wednesday or Thursday we (John) have formulated our list of information to obtain: Daniel‘s schedule of food, sleep and toileting; his Beethoven and Mozart preferences; vaccination record; if he is taking any medications; if the leg braces for night or for day, or both will come with us. All of the legal stuff seems to be done. It remains only to see whether we receive the court decree on Tuesday, or if, due to Monday being a holiday, we will have to wait for Wednesday. By law, if a holiday occurs, a decree can be delayed until the second business day after the holiday.

Waiting

Couldn’t sleep past 6 this morning and was too restless to stay in bed. Found Mom Thur still online so we exchanged a Skype message. As I wrote to her, I am not looking forward to leaving Ukraine, I like it here and will be sad when we are gone. But I would like to be “doing” - packing, organizing, something - but this is not “doing” time, this is “waiting” time. I really do have some things to do: pick out and fix more photos to have printed before we go; write out our questions for the psychologist for Sergei to help us with; write a note to leave with Natalya. But none of it could be done lying in bed, so I got up.
Christine’s update first. In part: “when I sat down next to Nick for the Lenten dinner and asked whether he had prayed yet, he said he had prayed in his brain. I suppose it makes sense that a pediatrician's son prays in his brain instead of his head.”

I checked out the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod’s website (lcms.org) this morning and found a short devotional from Lutheran Hour Ministries. I signed up to receive their daily devotional by e-mail. Then I went back to Bible Gateway for more resources and found “Hard Saying of the Day” by Intervarsity Press. They tackled a passage in Hebrews and essentially discussed justification and sanctification.

In honor of not leaving for Kyiv at 6 this morning I moved up to Level 2 of the workout video. Needed to do most of the modifications available today. It wasn’t as hard as it will be, because I had to/got to keep stopping to see exactly how they did each move.

Egg and yogurt for breakfast. My multivitamin tea didn’t cool down in time to drink it before we left.
Nothing really new for our morning visit except that Daniel decided to comb my hair today. He did some fishing - no string then medium string.

Some other children put on some sort of program this morning. The physical therapist came through wearing a costume dress and a floral head wreath. Three 2-ish boys were led past, and a several groups of caregivers all headed in the same direction, then we could hear piano music from that end of the corridor. When the little guys came back they each had a chocolate candy they were pleased with - and Daniel wanted. We were candy-less this morning and couldn’t help him out. We have no idea what the special event was. We finished with some close cuddling.

We picked up water, yogurt, chips, eggs, Coke, mini bagel cookies, bananas and prepackaged chocolate croissants at the Billa (where else?). Now why in the world that last item seemed remotely appealing after the fresh ones at the French bakery I do not know. We decided to take it easy over lunch and just ate a hot dog and chips at home. I do NOT recommend this diet to anyone, but we were exhausted. I thought I would be picking out pictures of Nick and Dennis to send to the social service folks in their birth town (as requested via Sergei), but I fell asleep sitting up on the couch before I went to join John sleeping on the bed. Woke up to the sound of John washing the dishes. Guess I can’t really complain about that.

We talked to Dennis and Nick and both sets of our parents before Sergei picked us up for the afternoon visit. We brought the stroller along to see how Daniel would handle the restraints. We were able to meet with the psychologist first to ask a few questions - like just what works of Beethoven and Mozart he likes (she will write them down) and how to soothe him on the way home (stroke his head).

When we knocked on the door to Daniel’s group room they already had him ready for us. They had seen us outside through the window when we first arrived, and when it took so long for us to come to the door he started to cry! The judge requested that a copy of the court decree draft be sent to the State Department of Adoption in Kyiv, so Sergei spent the next two hours just getting to the court and getting them sent by train (common means of courier services here) because the traffic was so bad. It had snowed lightly.

As for us, the upper landing was taken so we settled on the couch Daniel chose. John took him for his first spin in the stroller. He did well, although it wasn’t long before he asked to get out. He asked to ride again later and lasted longer. I offered him a chocolate candy from home. He accepted, of course, and we used up the rest of our wipes cleaning up the mess. He also ate half a banana and half of a cracker and drank some water. He does use an open cup with some help, but just like Dennis initially he has trouble regulating the rate and seems to choke on it rather frequently. Not too interested in fishing, books, crayons or photographs tonight.

While John initially kept him occupied I finished his wool socks with reinforcements to fit over and hold up to his braces. I slipped them on while he ate a cookie against John’s chest and they seem to fit fine. He did play with the wooden train while standing against the couch with John sitting on the floor behind him to support his legs. I escaped the beauty treatment this evening. John didn’t.

We left about 6:30, just missing Sergei in the building so that we were calling him on the telephone while standing behind his car. The very nice maintenance gentleman who had offered us a ride home the other day offered to keep the stroller in the garage (where it appears he also sleeps/lives) so we wouldn’t have to carry it back and forth. Daniel tolerated it so well tonight that we don’t plan to bring it back, but we thanked him several times.

We ate our microwave lasagna, an orange and garlic bread (black Ukrainian bread, butter and Frontier garlic flakes) for supper. We also tried the croissants. For being prepackaged they were pretty good.

Passport Photo Day

I was definitely tired enough to sleep well last night. Heeding Denis’ urging from Sunday, I got up a little earlier than usual and searched the scripture using BibleGateway.com for every reference to adoption. More than I expected. And on the “topical” references for adoption I came to realize that the relationship of the Israelites to God was clearly one of adoption, too.

I didn’t have enough discipline to exercise before checking e-mail for the daily Nick-and-Dennis update from my sister, though. In part:
“We've been practicing colors with Dennis. On the "color" day he seems to have the color down. But a week later, he gets mixed up again. One of his problem colors is yellow. At supper Nick was quizzing Dennis on his colors by pointing to different colored flowers in an arrangement on the table. He got blue, "pinka," and green correct, but couldn't think of yellow. So Nick was giving him a hint, "yah, yah, yah" to which Dennis responded, "yah-blue."

But I did eventually exercise and had to hustle to get ready scarfing down an egg, yogurt, and granola bar while doing so. Sergei called to say he’d be about ten minutes late due to worse-than-the-normally bad traffic. That was quite helpful as far as I was concerned.

It didn’t take too long to get Daniel ready and assign a caregiver (his favorite Natalya) to accompany us, although they did take him back inside to add a second hat. Natalya never seems very comfortable around us and I always sense her anticipation of a painful separation coming soon. She knew a place to get passport photos nearby. It was a tiny, highly efficient studio/photo shop. Sergei had thought we would have to wait a day or two for the photos, we thought maybe an hour. It was only five minutes. Daniel had major hat hair and no amount of hand-combing helped. He sat on Natalya’s lap side-ways. It took quite a few shots and effort on the part of all of us to get him looking straight ahead with his head relatively straight, but this photographer knows his business and it didn’t take very long. He was able to quickly straighten out the picture, size it appropriately and print both the rectangular pictures needed for his Ukrainian passport and the square ones for the visa. Without extra charge he also copied the digital images onto one of our camera SD cards. Total cost: less than $4 US. John e-mailed the square ones to Oleksandr in Kyiv in the afternoon.

We were back at the orphanage just after 10:00. Not a very long outing. They took him back into the room to take off the hats and coat and to apply the braces. While we were out and about he clearly preferred to be with Natalya but when we went off to play inside he left her without a problem.

We started off with a cookie - just handed him the whole thing, and other than spitting out the last soggy bite (I think because we wouldn’t move on to the next thing till he was done chewing) he ate it well.

He was interested in his shoes for a long time again, did some very nice quite intensive magnetic fishing, and combed his own hair (rather after the fact) and Dad’s. When we went up at 11:30 Sergei was already back, trying to catch the director to request a letter about Daniel’s medical ‘insurance’ coverage. He did.

Back to the paper chase: the notary, caught lunch while documents were prepared (at ‘our’ cafeteria at the Naukova Metro Stop), back to the notary and then the bank. We were able to conclude our business there and stopped in at the nearby apartment agency to pay rent through next Wednesday. Thankfully they accept grevna because the nationals seem to have difficulty getting our American dollars exchanged, even if they appear to be in excellent condition to us. John and I have had no difficulty getting the same bills exchanged. We suggested to Sergei he might have more success if he speaks very little Russian, and badly.

We exposed Sergei to an American-style coffee shop and his first mocha on the way back to the car.


Somewhere in the midst of this Sergei let Oleksandr know the details of my train trip to and from Kyiv tomorrow. Then Oleksandr called back to clarify the plans. He was still under the impression I was planning to sign the Embassy papers on Thursday and fly home Friday (this week). Guess we neglected to let him on the grand change in plans once we sorted it out last night. He pointed out that since we would all be coming to Kyiv next week I can take care of it then, even if John and Daniel do have to wait a couple of extra days. Um, yeah, he was right. It would be a totally wasted and exhausting (5 AM to midnight) trip. So when everything else was taken care of we headed back to the train station to cancel the tickets for a small fee.

It doesn’t seem like just riding in the car and sitting (mostly) to wait at all these various places should be that tiring, but I was totally drained when we got back to the apartment. This has been the case in the past, too. We were in time to call Nick and Dennis a little bit late. I had a Coke Light for lunch, the double shot (I presume) mocha, and started another Coke Light on the way back to the orphanage just to have a little energy for Daniel. It seemed to help. (Also - sending Dennis off to give everyone hugs for us seems to help him let go of the phone, today even before we said ‘good-bye‘!)

Our favorite evening spot was available so we spread out the blankets and made ourselves at home (even the security gentleman commented).
Daniel didn’t have any interest in fishing, but the comb was put to good use again - first himself, then Dad, and then he called my name emphatically and held out the comb to me.
I have no idea why but he finds it very soothing to have me comb his hair, and I love it! We always try to have him walk a bit (refusing for the last several days) and practice standing and sitting. Tonight was his best effort yet for the latter. I was on the floor and had him sit with his legs between mine, firmly anchoring his feet to the floor. I didn’t have too many expectations when we first suggested standing, but he did - and responded so well to our effusive praise that he just kept standing up (his own strength with a one-finger hold) and sitting down again (very controlled). It was pretty exciting, so the effusive praise was easy to continue.

After six o’clock he developed an interest in the big travel bag, and the wooden train. We were able to direct him to put all the pieces to the train in it’s Ziploc bag, and that in the big bag, as well as the balls, his shoes, etc. The train bag was pulled out a couple of times, but eventually all but the blankets were in place. Then it was the other black carry-all. We had put some things in, but I handed him the airplane and showed him where to put it. He thought maybe he would prefer to pull the fishing (and perhaps everything else) out, but when I asked if he wanted to go to group (yes), I told him “nada” (must) and he put up no further objections. We packed up everything and John took him up and down the hallway a couple of times while I picked up the blankets and put on my boots. That hallway, by the way, is the same where Nick managed to grab a crayon and leave a long, horizontal mark on the wall nearly three years ago. We weren’t able to remove it then, but it is gone now.

I finished my Coke Light before we left so I wouldn’t fall asleep before writing this. It’s only 9 PM, so I’m way ahead of usual schedule - just have to wait till John is ready to give up the Internet device. Once he enters the “work box” he doesn’t really hear me anymore so I get to listen to my iPod. Tonight I played Spider Solitaire (rare indulgence of late) to "Action Bible Toons"(children’s songs), journaled to Brother’s "As You Were" and now Robin Mark’s "Days of Elijah". We ate an orange and a piece bread with peanut butter for supper. Oops - bet my tea is cold again. Anything else you could possibly want to know about our day? :) Oh - Sergei was able to review the drafted court decree after he dropped us off this afternoon and made a few minor changes so all will be perfect on the 10th Day.

Daniel Feels Better (and more changes)

Old business: the washing machine was fixed yesterday. Apparently the drain was clogged. They asked us not to wash the bathroom rugs on a hot temperature again. We won’t. Also it turns out we are entitled to have the apartment cleaned once a week for free, we just have to let Sergei tell them when we would like it done.

Last night we tried at least 40 times (not an exaggeration, it could have been 50) to connect to the Internet. We were at it until nearly midnight when I had finally caught up on the blog and hoped for a reasonable bedtime. In the end we thought we must have run out of megabytes and gave up. First thing this morning I tried again: immediate connection. Who knows? After posting and checking/sending a couple of e-mails I had time to exercise, shower and eat yogurt, egg and orange for breakfast.

It had been raining steadily when we went to bed - wondered if it would all freeze into an Olympic speed-skating track. We did slip and slide more than any other day on the water over ice, but not to the extent we felt like we were going to fall down. We didn’t.

When we reached Daniel’s room the caregiver told us something we didn’t understand, then had the doctor who had told us yesterday Daniel had a fever take over. We called Sergei for translation. It was good news: Daniel was better, his fever had broken and we could take him out of group today. It did take a while to get him ready, but that was fine. He definitely felt much better: very chipper, energetic and with better color.

We had a very enjoyable visit in the green corridor with enough hugs and pictures to make up for last night. He was more interested in the motorcycle, he fished, and he flipped through the photo album a bit.
He also asked for my knitting, per routine. He just grins when I laugh and tell him “no, that’s Mama’s“. We were able to give the maintenance man a copy of the picture we had taken of him with Daniel over the weekend. I think he appreciated it. He has such a kind, friendly face. Daniel has been surrounded by many people with warm, open hearts.

When we went back to his room it wasn’t one of our most familiar caregivers who answered the door. When we asked for my passport (we always have to leave one with them when we take Daniel) she said “no”. I got just a little worried, but then realized she was joking, suggesting that perhaps Daniel didn’t want us to leave. Maybe she is the one from whom Daniel learns his teasing antics.

After dropping off the toys at the apartment we headed out to exchange money, get documents printed and eat lunch. We called Sergei to make arrangements to pick up my train tickets for Thursday (he was headed for his dentist for some on-going work on a tooth). We ended up walking all the way to the next Metro stop looking for a particular store. We did catch the train to the Naukova (Scientific) stop to eat lunch at our usual cafeteria. We both had borsch and shared a bread stick. John had rice with vegetables and something breaded. I had the sautéed potatoes, onions, etc. and chicken shish kabob. John’s food turned out to be fish. I shared my chicken (fish here is always very different than we are used to at home). We found an internet café in a lower level along Leningrad. We had to get past a ladder propped horizontally across the stairway where a man was removing letters from the shop above it. John was able to get his documents printed, using his Russian with an English-speaking clerk. Next stop . . . Coffee and French pastry. The steamer is still broken. I felt drained when we got home and was glad we had some time to relax before Sergei picked us up. We had time for a quick call to Nick and Dennis (6:47 AM their time), too. They were awake and eating pancakes for breakfast, didn’t have too much to say.

Sergei picked us up as planned and will not need to see the dentist for this tooth again. He had some news for us: the passport office in Kyiv is not currently processing passports and it is not known when they will be able to do so. However, since Kyiv is not able to process them, there is another route available in Kharkov and we may get it even more quickly. Our heads were spinning as we realized we might all be able to come home together as early as the end of next week! We decided to go ahead with our plans for me to go to Kyiv and do my part of the Embassy paperwork on Thursday this week just in case going home together doesn’t work out. At the train station it turns out a round trip ticket to and from Kyiv on the fast train for the same day costs less than $40. I was impressed.

We went straight to the orphanage when we were done (we had taken all of our gear with us). We arrived at 16:03, so he was still eating. No problem: have knitting, can wait! The director had the receipt for the bank deposit, thanked us warmly and had us come into her office for the photograph with her we had requested. Sergei also arranged to take Daniel out of the orphanage for passport photos. No one was available to go yet today, but someone would go with us at nine o’clock tomorrow. We actually took Nick and Dennis’ photographs ourselves last time and missed the opportunity for a legitimate outing. No finger jabs for blood this time!

Daniel was still feeling good. We headed off to our second floor landing (where we can spread out the blankets on the floor) and had another nice visit.
We started by offering him a banana and he accepted. After yesterday’s banana-eating-proficiency demonstration I just cut it in half and offered him the big chunk. He didn’t require us to actively entertain him the entire time and it was good to just hang out. He was interested in the large reusable shopping bag we use in the evening to carry the blankets, wooden train, etc. He emptied it before putting something else back in. I started handing him everything else, one at a time, except the remaining half-banana which was getting squishy.

I laid down and he used my stomach for a chair while he examined his new shoe/boots for a long time.

John also took a gazillion pictures of Daniel’s head just in case it doesn’t go well at the photo place tomorrow. I’m not sure any of them are even close to acceptable because he closes his eyes after the automatic focus light goes off and he almost always had his mouth open, even if we could manage to get his head straight. Maybe they are allowed to “Photoshop” it.

When we took him back to his room they asked for more diapers tomorrow. “Tomorrow” was reiterated. Back to the Billa, but not inconvenient since we walk right past it and through their parking lot on the way home.

Grilled ham and cheese for supper. John is becoming the expert. I did run a load of (normal) laundry tonight. It didn’t drain initially, but when I removed half the load and re-ran it, all was well. Just had to spin out the half I had removed so it also has a chance of drying soon. Hmm, guess I should get those hung up again.

John has spent his entire evening trying to rebook our flights and book Daniel’s. Turns out our “flexible” tickets from Lufthansa aren’t nearly flexible enough. But after a very long telephone conversation (free via Skype, thankfully) resulting in the need to ‘burn’ our previous fares and start completely over on-line, the gentleman did congratulate us on the adoption of our son. He left us both with a very good impression.

Happy Birthday, Lois! and A Change in Plans Necessary

Up in time to exercise. Just an egg for breakfast. We toted our heavy bags down to the corner where Sergei was already waiting. We stopped first to exchange money, then to purchase envelops and finally to the French pastry to purchase treats for the caregivers in Daniel’s group room. We really had plenty of time before the ‘10:00ish’ scheduled party time, so we each had a cup of coffee and a pastry with chocolate, too (the frothing portion of the espresso machine was broken).

I put address labels on the photographs, Sergei wrote ‘thank you’ in Russian on each envelop, John checked the contents of each envelop before we went inside. Upstairs we were told that Daniel has a cough today and a fever (37.5 C) so the doctor asked that we not take him out of the group today. It was disappointing but we are willing to honor their treatment preferences. They did, however, say we could still have the party. I will just say here that the entire morning required many intervals of waiting, but it was a very satisfying half-day. We were able to tell the director how much we appreciate her work to provide excellent care to the children and present our gift to the orphanage (actually had to deposit it directly into the orphanage account at a bank) and while they set up a nice table (for photographs) in Daniel’s room she took us to see the section of the orphanage undergoing much-needed renovation where our gift will be used.

In Daniel’s room they had set the table with a table cloth and matching china cups and plates with a cute little pig design. Once we brought out our bag they attractively added the giraffe napkins and prepared the food. First they thought maybe not the oranges, but then they thought just a couple. Daniel was on the carpeted floor in the play area with a caregiver. He actually was not too happy to see us. I think being in his room was confusing. However, after he pushed his hand against me and turned his head away I chuckled a little bit and he grinned as he does when he teases us (asking, at every single visit, for my knitting project, and never receiving it).

All five children were brought to the table, each received a whole peeled banana, some pieces of orange, a full cup of juice and as many crackers as they wanted. I was astonished to see Daniel power down an entire banana and most of another half, a few cut orange segments, many of the duck crackers and all of the juice (he needed help for the juice). It was a party mood and all of the children were given as much as they wanted to eat, which was more than they were actually able to eat - about thirty minutes before their lunch was delivered!

The doctor present for our entire visit (not one of our usual two, but a familiar face) assured us she would be writing out Daniel’s entire schedule and what he requires for therapy. She showed us the equipment in the room that has been helpful for Daniel: a heavy cushion he sits up against to play, parallel bars for walking and a plastic toy that resembles a walker (he refused to demonstrate because it was during the eating part of the party). The staff were great and when we told them John was planning to construct equipment for him at home they dug out a ruler.

Here, too, we were able to tell them how much we appreciate all of the care given to the children. I was disappointed that Daniel’s favorite Natalia was not present, but Dennis’ Tanya was and I thanked her for having such an open heart and making it possible for Dennis to love us. If a child doesn’t attach to a person when they are very young (usually by 18 months) it is very difficult and perhaps even impossible to attach to people later. Tanya was Dennis’ person and it appears Natalia is Daniel’s. We left blank note cards for the caregivers to write messages for Daniel (or Nick or Dennis) if they choose.

Down at the kitchen (they have one chef, two cooks, two assistants, and four milk-kitchen staff) we expressed our appreciation and left index cards in case anyone cared to share a recipe for the boys.

We also received our answer from the Director: I would need to be present on the day Daniel left the orphanage. I have to say that I have been torn in my feelings of leaving so early anyway. “Gotcha Day” is a big event, not a minor formality, and deserves to be remembered and later retold by more than one person. Sergei appeared to feel bad to have to tell us, but we assured him we are convinced that this is all happening according to God’s will, no one failed in their persuasions or decisions and we would simply readjust our plans accordingly, although we needed some time today to settle on those new plans.

By the time we left it was 12:20. We wouldn’t be able to visit Daniel again today because of his fever so the afternoon was available for another all-important document-chasing marathon. We stopped back at the apartment first for our documents and my knitting. We also both put on jeans and tennies - ready to be comfortable and not needing to impress anyone again today. We headed off in Sergei’s trusty Chevy, and then came back to the apartment for our documents (oops). We needed to stop for gas. No stations here are self-serve.

Sergei received word that our Tax ID numbers were ready (so I could give John power-of-attorney, no longer necessary). We decided to proceed with the power of attorney anyway, since John would be alone with Daniel in Ukraine at some point. The Tax ID office was our first destination. We arrived 20 minutes before it opened at 2:00. Good time for lunch.

A short walk later we decided to give “Frito Boom” (that’s the transliteration, Sergei says the name doesn’t actually mean anything) a try. John theorizes it means “Everything is Fried”. We had spicy hot dogs and mustard baked in pastry, donut-like items filled with meat (Sergei and me) or potatoes and mushrooms (John). Sergei and I each had a different salad and we had one order each of what looked like onion rings. I think one was. Another was calamari and the third peppers with spicy paprika. We also had mochaccinos. Two rounds of those, actually. They were small.

Back at the Tax ID office I guess we were an “exotic” case that took a full week to process because the main office didn’t know how to translate “Oshkosh”. The nice lady we have been working with here in Kharkov found it on a map and told them how to spell it (in Russian).

Next stop: bank. Needed to make the deposit to the orphanage (they actually charge a 2% fee to make a deposit in someone else’s account) and look into an account in Dennis’ name. Needed more official documents, of course.

Off to the notary for: the Power of Attorney; a notarized copy of Daniel’s birth certificate (for passport application after the 10th day); and a notarized copy of the court decree from Dennis’ adoption for the bank. The Power of Attorney document had to be tweaked a few times, but as always the service for such important and official documents was remarkably swift at this office. Sasha last time and Sergei this time always use the same office and we understand why. Sergei explained that they have very wide experience, have many document templates available and are not intimidated by the needs of international customers. They also have several notaries at this office, not just one, so someone is always available.

Back to the bank, still didn’t have everything they wanted but it will be here from Sasha (in Kyiv) in a couple of days. Home. Sergei dropped us off at the Billa on his way back to the orphanage to drop off a paper they needed.

We hadn’t actually planned to shop but managed to spend some money as we are prone to doing. Water, Coca-Cola and chocolate, mostly.

Not hungry enough to eat supper. Eventually John put peanut butter on bread for each of us and I’m on my fourth cup of tea (feeling dry if not hungry).

Hope Daniel is well enough to spend time with us tomorrow. We plan to show up at the usual time and see what happens. Sergei will be at the court house to review the decree for errors before it goes into effect next week.

At this point I plan to return home next week Friday (seven days later than expected). I will go to Kyiv this week to sign papers for the US Embassy (hopefully there an back on Thursday by train, lots of good CME time), we will take Daniel out of the orphanage on Thursday and I will fly out of Kyiv early on Friday morning. We’ll see what God has in mind as the weeks progress.